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Original poster

Anybody not going out tonight?

92 replies

Allthescreens · 15/12/2023 08:17

Or indeed this week?!

Feeling like a complete loner at this point! I had 3 Christmas events & they were all weeks ago!

Seems like everyone else has lots more days/nights out lined up, while I'll be staying in again watching TV! Working all day tomorrow & expecting it to be very quiet too (public facing, not retail but similar). Even the DC have more planned than I do!

DS1's birthday on Sunday so the last of this month's money is going on that, then I get paid on Tuesday & need to get Christmas presents in that day as DC break up on Wednesday & I won't be able to go shopping without them after that.

I keep telling myself we're lucky that we can afford to pay our bills & buy presents, but it feels particularly tough this year. DH is probably depressed too, which I am finding hard to handle.

OP posts:

dizzydizzydizzy · 15/12/2023 08:20

Not tonight but I am going out next Friday. I invited a friend for coffee and in the strength of that she invited me for dinner/m.

escapethemaze · 15/12/2023 08:25

why don’t you drop a friend a message and invite them to join you for a drink? or a coffee and mince pie this weekend?

Original poster

Allthescreens · 15/12/2023 08:44

I have tried numerous times but keep getting nos or no answer. Seems everybody is already busy or ignoring me!

I did have a work lunch (paid for myself!) & friend round for hot chocolate the other day, but nothing else lined up till Christmas Eve.

I'm just feeling sorry for myself & need to stay off social media, but work is so quiet & boring that's a big ask!

OP posts:

escapethemaze · 15/12/2023 08:54

Allthescreens · 15/12/2023 08:44

I have tried numerous times but keep getting nos or no answer. Seems everybody is already busy or ignoring me!

I did have a work lunch (paid for myself!) & friend round for hot chocolate the other day, but nothing else lined up till Christmas Eve.

I'm just feeling sorry for myself & need to stay off social media, but work is so quiet & boring that's a big ask!

i’d feel sorry for myself too if my friends were ignoring me. That’s a thread in itself OP!

escapethemaze · 15/12/2023 08:54

they don’t sound like close friends

tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz · 15/12/2023 09:07

Allthescreens · 15/12/2023 08:44

I have tried numerous times but keep getting nos or no answer. Seems everybody is already busy or ignoring me!

I did have a work lunch (paid for myself!) & friend round for hot chocolate the other day, but nothing else lined up till Christmas Eve.

I'm just feeling sorry for myself & need to stay off social media, but work is so quiet & boring that's a big ask!

I get you OP

I have a very part time seasonal casual job and my Co workers are all older than me but lovely. We had a festive pub tea this week and that was the extent of my Christmas celebrations.

I do have a handful of friends but I'm not high up on any of their social pecking orders so tend to get a bit forgotten and maybe feel a bit sad this time of year isn't a whirl of parties

On the plus side there are also no hangovers

WashItTomorrow · 15/12/2023 09:08

I don’t have anything lined up at all.

Original poster

Allthescreens · 15/12/2023 09:44

tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz · 15/12/2023 09:07

I get you OP

I have a very part time seasonal casual job and my Co workers are all older than me but lovely. We had a festive pub tea this week and that was the extent of my Christmas celebrations.

I do have a handful of friends but I'm not high up on any of their social pecking orders so tend to get a bit forgotten and maybe feel a bit sad this time of year isn't a whirl of parties

On the plus side there are also no hangovers

Show quote history

I think you are me! It makes me feel s bit better just to know I'm not the only one 😊

OP posts:

WenttheDayWell · 15/12/2023 09:48

I was really unwell with a temperature so missed two Christmas events last week. I’m fully recovered now and glad I have no after effects. But I’m hacked off as was really looking forward to them and one involved people travelling from three different cities so no way we can reorganise.

Plan a very Christmassy evening, make some gingerbread, Christmas movie, pyjamas and hot chocolate. Do some Christmas crafts with the children. Even if you’re not a Christian lots of churches have children’s carol services and they will welcome you.

I worked in higher education for almost 30 years, the golden days of free dinners and lunches is over and I was lucky to take part in that. So I have been to many a fancy black tie do and my mate who was single took me as her plus one to her free Christmas dinner that was an event in a marquee two years in a row. These were massive events with circus acts between courses, she had a big time job in IT. She then happily for her got a BF so no more fancy free party for me.

But the memories I treasure the most are the ones with little ones running about getting super excited. DS is an adult now. I bought a lift the flap Christmas book for my friends little lad I showed DS and he said OMG I loved those books when I was little. It took me back to reading with him. Have a lovely birthday party with your children on Sunday.

JesusAndMaryPain · 15/12/2023 09:52

Honestly OP, not everyone is going to parties. I'm certainly not. None of my many friend groups are having parties. Work did have a party but I didn't go, as I'm part of a "serious" profession and the parties are very dull! My kids have had event upon event, related to hobbies, which I've attended and several more to go. The only Christmas party I've ever been to I threw myself!

As someone above said, come off social media or if you're staying on, put on your bullshit glasses, works wonders!

OldTinHat · 15/12/2023 09:55

I've got a weekend in a hotel with my parents and DSis starting later today. That's it! I'm on my own from Monday and at Christmas and have nothing planned then until 1st January when I'm going to a friend's for lunch.

pizzaHeart · 15/12/2023 09:59

I’m going for dinner with a friend today and with family next week, I do hope to see another friend for coffee but the chances are very slim so far. That’s would be all my Christmas outings.

miniegg3 · 15/12/2023 10:11

I haven't been to any christmas events, only working at them 🤣 we will have a work meal I. The new year once its over.

Been home with a sick child all week, so no festive fun here either 🙃

Bahhhhhhhumbug · 15/12/2023 10:14

No nights out planned here! Christmas or otherwise! I WFH - we had our works do in October when all last met up then. But tbf I’m happier at home in my jamas in places that aren’t people-y 😂

Original poster

Allthescreens · 15/12/2023 10:32

I just tried one last-ditch attempt with a small group of people I thought were friends. In reality, we haven't all met up since the summer & they are non-committal at best, so I need to stop knocking at that door.

I think I have a deep-seated fear of rejection from always being left out at school & it's hard to shake. Makes me feel innately unlikable 😔 Need to try & get new hobbies in the New Year, if I'm busy it won't matter if other people don't want me around!

OP posts:

escapethemaze · 15/12/2023 14:13

who do you usually socialise with?

TossieFleacake · 15/12/2023 14:24

You're not alone OP.
I have got one night out, going for an Indian with some friends and that is the total of my Christmas nights out!!

Sounds like you are feeling low, and living with someone who has depression is really difficult.
Focus on enjoying your time with your family this year, and try to widen your social circle in the new year. Don't let patterns of the past stop you from moving forwards, you will never know if a friendship could work out if your fear of rejection stops you from trying.

CommaChameleon7 · 15/12/2023 14:34

I'm not going out at all over the festive period - don't want to be all "poor me" but just cannot afford it 🤷🏼‍♀️ am happy enough in the house with a mince pie and a Christmas film

Titsywoo · 15/12/2023 14:43

I'm out this weekend but mostly things I have organised myself - a run my own business and have one other employee so am taking her and her mum plus DH and DS for dinner tonight as a 'staff party', dinner tomorrow night as DD comes home from uni then drinks at a friends on Sunday (not a party though). I have a part time job too and never get invited to that xmas party (not that I mind as I am basically a contractor for them so don't really know anyone). I don't expect to see most of my friends this time of year as so many have work parties and family commitments. Don't feel bad!

Original poster

Allthescreens · 15/12/2023 17:23

escapethemaze · 15/12/2023 14:13

who do you usually socialise with?

I usually go to a Book Club once a month & sometimes do things with my friends from there. Or occasionally WI. Sometimes go out with my sisters. But they are all busy. I'm not anybody's priority, which is fine really.

OP posts:

escapethemaze · 15/12/2023 17:31

Allthescreens · 15/12/2023 17:23

Show quote history

is anybody your priority?

Original poster

Allthescreens · 15/12/2023 17:32

escapethemaze · 15/12/2023 17:31

is anybody your priority?

Show quote history

Yes, totally, there are some people I always ask, but it could be that I'm smothering 😬

OP posts:

Spaghettieis · 15/12/2023 17:35

We’re visiting IL’s this weekend but at home tonight. Just cracked open a cider and the first box of mince pies of the year so it’s set to be a good night 😂
We actually don’t have much socialising with friends scheduled for the rest of December as people are so busy with family things, so we’ve started lining things up for January and February.

Reggiebo · 15/12/2023 17:37

Sat in the dark...it's beat the peak evening

Spottywombat · 15/12/2023 17:38

Nothing planned. No invites. No worries.

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