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Original poster

Are my kids spoilt/entitled?

277 replies

Appleblum · 05/12/2023 17:48

Several incidents struck me about my kids' behaviour recently. For example:

  • our grocer sold out of their favourite milk and our backup brand from the supermarket was also sold out. I bought supermarket own brand milk and they refused it after trying as it 'tastes like vomit'. The milk was left untouched and both kids went without milk for 2 days before I restocked with their regular brand.
  • they ask for home made packed lunches everyday as they don't like school food. If I'm unable to do a packed lunch they'll begrudgingly eat school food for a day but will whine about it once they're home, or choose to go hungry until I pick them up.
  • on holiday in Venice they were very happy on the private water taxi but didn't like the crowded water buses. They pulled faces until I gave them a strict talking to.

DH doesn't think it's an issue as their behaviour does not negatively affect other people, and he feels that it means they just have high standards for themselves (they like nice food and the taxi is definitely more comfortable). I agree with him to an extent but also feel abit uneasy. I don't want them to turn into brats! They are 7 and 8, should I be worried?

OP posts:
AnxiousPangolin · 05/12/2023 22:13

Do people actually think this is genuine?

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 05/12/2023 22:15

Appleblum · 05/12/2023 18:29

@AdventThief the usual milk is in an unbranded bottle we get from our local shop. The backup brand is duchy organic unhomogenised whole milk. Try it, it's fab!

😂

Yes your children are snobs, you have raised them this way.

Given me a giggle though 🤣 and made me feel good about my own non snobby non entitled dd.

Finestreason · 05/12/2023 22:19

AnxiousPangolin · 05/12/2023 22:13

Do people actually think this is genuine?

I don’t. But it’s good fun what with all the “suck it up and learn to love life you 7 year old brat” business.

and milks do taste different. UHT milk is gross.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
Nanaof1 · 05/12/2023 22:20

cardibach · 05/12/2023 18:18

How can one milk be ‘nicer’ than another? It’s milk. Not a recipe. Nothing is added or taken away (except sone of the fat if you buy it skimmed or semi skimmed). It’s nonsense. Milk is milk.

Show quote history

On this side of the pond there are some real differences in milk, whether it be skimmed, 2% or whole. I have had some that was pretty tasteless or even "off tasting" and some that just is more pleasant. For me, it isn't the cost, as I don't like most of the premium brands, but I really only like a couple of brands, both luckily more budget brands. I have to have it every morning to take my medicine and since I already gag easily taking it, having milk I like is important.

ProfSleepzz · 05/12/2023 22:23

1&3 sound a bit spoilt but 2…I’m a teacher. I’ve not eaten the food in my new school because I’m so scarred from the food at my old school, which was the same catering company as my kids’ school. When they say that the day’s choice is rough, please can they have packed lunch, I say yes. They do say please and thank you though. Also, if I ask them to, they help me make the packed lunches. They know we’re a team and they have to help out if I need it. (Mainly because I care for my elderly mum too and some mornings are hard). Just make them help with some stuff and explain to them if/when they’re being a bit entitled. The fact you ask shows you care.

beAsensible1 · 05/12/2023 22:23

Appleblum · 05/12/2023 18:24

I have been thinking about it though - as an adult I definitely prefer Godiva to Cadburys and that's OK. I also prefer driving places in my own car than taking the bus, and that's also OK. Why am I then uneasy with kids being this way?

everyone prefers a car or a taxi, but they don't humph or act as if using the tube or bus is bad.

you use what you need based on necessity, circumstances or ease.

having a strop because of the brand of milk or using the bus is a off for a 7 year old.

Just remind them that things change and teach them value.

The last thing you want if you fall on hard times is your kid berating you about the brand of milk or moaning because you can't afford packed lunch.

ShouldGoToBed · 05/12/2023 22:28

I don’t think not wanting the unhomogenised milk is bratty, it sounds like a texture thing / being weirded out by the separate cream at the top. It is quite different from normal milk.

If they’re not being actively obnoxious about their preferences in general I wouldn’t worry about it.

Wiccan · 05/12/2023 22:28

EarringsandLipstick · 05/12/2023 21:37

It's a forum you don't get to police what opinions we have !

Do try to read.

I'm not policing your opinion. I'm not even 'policing' your writing.

I'm commenting that referring to someone's children so nastily, as you did, is horrible. Which it is.

You can make your point without being so derogatory.

I really don't care , stop making it into something it isn't . You haven't pulled anyone else up about their comments . I don't need your permission . Thanks 👍

PaperDoIIs · 05/12/2023 22:31

@beAsensible1 except they didn't have a strop over either. One they said it tasted like vomit(ok rude) and simply didn't drink any milk for two days. The other, all they did is pull faces ,which OP admits it could've been because it was crowded and they weren't feeling very secure. They got told off for it too!

isittimetoflounceyet · 05/12/2023 22:31

PaperDoIIs · 05/12/2023 20:47

@Appleblum as an adult do you have preferences? Do you have things you'd maybe internally pull a face at? Or think something not very nice?

Why shouldn't kids be allowed to feel the same? Just remember they're not old enough to control their reactions. Not just that, but they have no control or choice (as they're not the ones paying or making those decisions) so that also makes it hard to understand. Did you love the water bus, or did you just hid your dislike better?

Everyone can have preferences, including children. But you wouldn't loudly complain that the offered alternative was disgusting and tastes like vomit, would you? Cos that would be bloody rude.

peacocksuite · 05/12/2023 22:41

Being honest op, my kids are a similar age and probably more spolit than average (private school, a lot of privileges) but tbh I'd be worried about the behaviour you describe as well.

Uricon2 · 05/12/2023 22:44

In the words of my grandmother "When you're older and buying your own, you'll be able to have exactly what you want, won't you?"

laclochette · 05/12/2023 22:45

I agree with other posters who have said that it's not wrong for them to make pretty obvious statements about experiences - a water taxi is much nicer than a crowded water bus for example, there's no denying it! - but it's about guiding them to understand why we have to make certain choices.
I remember we always had to take packed lunches out when we went on holiday (in the UK), and I got upset cos I wanted to eat in the beach cafe or whatever like I saw other families doing. So my mum said to me that going on holiday was a lovely treat but it was expensive, and we couldn't afford to go on holiday AND eat lunch out all the time, plus wasn't it fun to get to eat on the beach, look at that boat out there etc etc (ie happy distracting techniques)... And I understood!

It's about finding ways to make them appreciate what they HAVE, and not focus on what they can't have, because that is a really critical life lesson and ultimately the key to anti bratdom.

idontlikealdi · 05/12/2023 22:46

I don't want to eat / drink things I don't like. I don't think that's entitled.

My kids have had packed lunches for years, the school food is crap. They don't drink much milk but are very specific about what they do like. I can't see how that's a problem. They also hate getting the bus to school and cadge a lift whenever they can but then so would I.

BotterMon · 05/12/2023 22:46

Yes

Onthemaintrunkline · 05/12/2023 22:48

Yes, they do sound like spoilt entitled little brats. When they do the paying, then they get to do the saying.

ChilledToTheBone · 05/12/2023 22:48

Try pouring the 'crap' milk in their normal bottle. I bet they drink it.

WhichIsItWendy · 05/12/2023 22:50

Honestly? Yes, they sound stuck up. Definitely not something I'd be encouraging. Much better to be flexible and laid back. Time to stop pandering.

Escaperoom · 05/12/2023 22:50

You don't spoil kids by giving them nice things/experiences. You spoil them by failing to give them the right attitudes.

Ohthatsfabulousdarling · 05/12/2023 22:51

With the milk thing, I think not. If it wasn't to their taste, then it wasn't to their taste.. sometimes that sorg of fussiness can be linked to medical problems. I've always had an issue with being put off new food when ifs even a little different to what I'm used to, its made me feel so uncomfortable. I couldn't help it and people being angry at me only made it worse.

The other bits, I'd remind them it's OK to have a preference but the way they put that forward needs to be appropriate and not rude to others in the vicinity.

Elphamouche · 05/12/2023 22:53

You can get branded milk?!

londonmummy1966 · 05/12/2023 22:57

I think that there are probably two ways to tackle this and a combination might be best.
First for things like the watertaxi just be quite breezy about it - "yes it is a bit crowded and you don't always get a seat but the private taxis are much more expensive and I'd rather spend the money on pizza/icecream/water park tickets - we can't have both so I thought 5 minutes of crowded taxi was better than no ice cream all week." The sooner they learn that money doesn't grow on trees and you need to budget the better.

The second is to put some of the problem onto DH - packed lunches seem the best here. Everytime they whine tell them that packed lunches are now Daddy's job and they need to discuss it with him and not you. May find that he suddenly has a change of opinion and even if he doesn't you've one less job to do.

LylaLee · 05/12/2023 22:59

Elphamouche · 05/12/2023 22:53

You can get branded milk?!

It's got the Chanel logo floating in it.

INeedNewShoes · 05/12/2023 22:59

When they are served standard milk at a friend or relative's house will they just have it without comment or are they at risk of putting on this performance refusing standard milk outside of your home?

I've tweaked things at home so that we don't have pudding after dinner every day as DD kept asking 'What's for pudding?' when we were at other people's houses. I've tried to change her expectation of always being offered a pudding as it's rude to be demanding it as a guest!

OldieButBaddie · 05/12/2023 23:04

I doubt they have invented this sort of stuff themselves at this age, it is more likely that you and/or your dh make similar comments and they are parroting you.

I would say it's ridiculous but I was once admonished by my 11 yo dd for not getting barrel-aged feta 😆it transpired that she had no idea what this meant, but this was the one she preferred the taste of and had no idea it was more poncey