Sad that childhood seems to be so short these days

[rdlong]

I just had a baby earlier this year and so I don't have this problem yet but speaking to friends and family with older children it seems like childhood now ends at about 7 years old!

Everyone is buying gifts at the moment and after 7 or even 6 years old in some cases onwards toys seem to be a thing of the past, the kids are no longer interested and they want things like ipads, iphones, gaming consoles, fancy trainers, expensive clothes, perfume, aftershave, skincare, make up, hair styling gadets, led lights for their bedroom, fancy bluetooth headphones and the like. I even heard of one 10 year old boy who is getting a record player as he wants to "get into collecting vinyl"! I was going to get my niece who is 9 a couple of books as part of her Christmas as she used to like reading but she has explicitly asked not to get books as she doesn't like how they clutter her minimalist bedroom, ditto for art supplies and craft sets, she wants people to buy her skincare, make up and jewellery from her wish list instead, she is 9!

At 9 I was starting to enjoy music and did get a small CD player but I also still was getting a few toys, as well as lots of books and lots of art materials and crafty things, puzzles and games, I was still a child at that age and I was well into my teens before I started getting anything like perfume or make up as gifts.

I just think its sad that childhood seems to be so short these days, like they go from being infants then have a year or two of childhood before they are tweenagers at 7 or 8. I know my niece watches loads of tiktok and I think she aspires to be like the older girls and young women she sees online she and her friends spend hours filming tiktoks which they don't post publicly but she is just dying to be a tiktoker.

I find it really insidious the influence devices can have, I know not every child gets to use them but so many do and even if they don't they are still exposed to the influence of social media through their peers that do have access and it means that kids who do still want toys, books or art stuff end up being laughed at if they don't have the latest teenage must have.

My friend has spent an absolute fortune on toys for her 5 year old son because its the last year he'll really appreciate them.

It makes me so sad for my own little one who I'd like to have a childhood that lasts till at least 11 or 12 and doesn't feel the need to be a teenager until they are actually a teen!

My 6 y/o DD wants dolls, cuddly toys, craft sets, and lego. She also wants a Switch so she can play Mario Cart as she has older cousins who have one. She still 100% believes in Santa. I think it will be the last year that her 8 year old cousin believes.

This!!!

Oh pull the other one- that’s not what these “children” are putting on their lists is it! It’s not basic toiletries or medical essentials. It’s overpriced branded nonsense peddled by wankers on the internet.

It's mad to me that little kids are requesting Drunk Elephant products. So many DE products have active ingredients like Vitamin C or glycolic acid that shouldn't be anywhere near tween skin. Stick with the bland moisturisers.

@Scruffington Its apparently all about the "serum" they see influencers drip all over their face, I quite agree though actives may actually damage their skin at that age.

I know loads of 6/7/8 year old boys and they all still have toys on their Christmas lists

I have an 8 year old boy and I don’t recognise what you describe at all. He doesn’t give a hoot about brand names. He’s never asked for any gaming stuff. He loves slime, board games, anything that farts/burps/poohs, binoculars, telescopes, Where’s Wally, little figures, puzzles, torches, key rings, Lego etc. He just wouldn’t know anything about brands or current music.

So far for Christmas I’ve bought him a new bike, Monopoly, Game of Life, slime kits, loads of books. He does live in a rural location / village, but he is still very much a little boy.

Not all dcs are like that.

My ds is 15, plays computer games online with his friends but dislikes tiktok, avoids any other social media and spends his time cycling, reading, laughing at youtube, playing chess, swimming etc. But then I'm not into social media and neither is his dad.

He is not interested in brands, although he's getting picky about his clothes in terms of fabrics and fit. He'll get shaving kit in his Christmas stocking because he's on the verge of needing it.

He's a typical teen - minimalist doesn't come into it (floordrobe😁) He's never heard of Drunk Elephant, just getting him to shower regularly is challenge enough.

I think a lot of parents are proud that their children have become pseudo-teens at a ridiculously young age, as if it means that they are clever or mature.

@AlltheFs

1. You said no chance of skincare period. Didn't mention brands.

1. I have one of these "children" her skincare consists of cetaphil and nivea . She's running low so that's what she asked for.

1. If those things are actually ok, I don't think it's actually that bad to ask for (not necessarily get) for something slightly fancier at Christmas. Just like younger kids ask for the BIG thing they see in adverts, on telly that can be up to £90 (remember hatchimals?) and sometimes played with once or twice and then forgotten. At least the skincare stuff will actually get used. Young kids circling half the smyths/argos catalogue is cute and funny. A tween selecting what they perceive (rightly or wrongly) as better skin care is everything that's wrong with society?

I have all boys and also don’t recognise any of this. My sons are all really sporty and would literally be happy kicking a ball around all day everyday which they do in our green out the front with their friends. Just like countless kids around the world and what kids have done for decades!!
One of my sons is also really creative and loves making things like candies etc and getting art sets . They are 7,9 and 12. My eldest does love getting nice runners and jerseys etc as he’s pre-teen.
Tbh op you sound like a typical, brand new parent judging those with older kids and you speak with real distain about your niece….it’s really clear in your comments about her .
You have one small child (easiest part of parenting imho) and you have no idea what it’s like to raise a child these days or the pressures on other families. I have all boys and they aren’t into tech bar the odd video game but they way prefer playing out with their friends and sports as do most of their friends tbh . I admit I don’t know much /anything about the girls their age though.

Parents who can’t be bothered to do their jobs give kids tiktok then complain they want everything they see on there 😂

Luddite parents think its advanced, clever or special that their young kids can use an ipad, play fortnite and love social media. Too stupid to see that its the opposite.

That said I am middle aged and asked for a console and Mario video games at 9 years old. Its not all new in that respect. But it was not online with all the dangers that entails .

So change the title OP “its sad these days parents have left their kids to be raised by randoms online”.

I think a lot of parents are proud that their children have become pseudo-teens at a ridiculously young age, as if it means that they are clever or mature

I agree and suspect it's a parenting issue. Children in primary school aren't going to be wanting whatever tat or expensive stuff influencers are pushing unless they've got parents letting them have access to lots of social media and then buy the stuff for them.

It depresses me how often I see posters on threads promoting access to personal devices from a young age, social media content, tween style shopping on the grounds that "but everyone else is doing it and DC will be upset". Maybe the parents also buy shit because an instagrammer tells them too as well though?

Agreed with pps. Parents bragging their 5 year old has a girlfriend/boyfriend, can easily use the iPad and watch TikToks, have not asked for toys for Xmas but wants an Armani suit/expensive face creams. I think a lot of the parents think it’s a pat on the back well done for your kids being so grown up. I don’t think it’s necessarily a good thing though.

I see what you are saying and I do agree but I don't necessarily think it's across the board.

My 10 almost 11 year old is still getting some toys for Christmas although admittedly he is playing less with toys now. He has no access to social media of any kind so things often pass him by but then I'm not sure his friends use it either.

my kids don’t have tik tok but a friend of mine, an acquaintance really. They are mega rich, I’m talking multi millionaires. Her kid asked for a Birkin bag, she’s 8. How do I know? The parent is an ‘influencer’ and put the Xmas list on her insta.

This 💯. You need to be clued into your child & their peer group, can't protect from all external influences but being aware is a big step.

You do you love. But basic toiletries are not a gift, that’s just providing essentials for your child. How sad that they have to ask for that for Christmas because they are “running low”.

It must be full of festive joy in your house. What do you get, a bottle of fairy? How exciting.

I’ll stick to actual presents.

I am sure when DD is 14,15,16 etc she will want different things and that’s fine. But we will not be supporting chavtastic choices in this house for children.

This 💯. You need to be clued into your child & their peer group, can't protect from all external influences but being aware is a big step.
Agree and when they're younger it helps to know at least some of their friends' parents too.
I can't control what other parents do and what random children at school have access to, but I know our family friends have a similar approach to us and that means DC have other children they're around and friends with who we know aren't being handed their own smartphone at 7, aren't being sat on YouTube or social media from a young age, and don't have parents who think that it's cool for their primary aged children to be wannabe teens.

Yes definitely @LolaSmiles . If the 8-12 year olds are already acting like teenagers what is the next logical step for their teenage years? Alcohol, drugs, promiscuity? It's a very unpopular opinion... But childhood is precious & to be preserved as long as possible. It's a slippery slope once social media & influences are allowed into a child's life.

I literally had this conversation today with a friend who questioned why my kids weren’t allowed to access computer games way above their age. I was treated like a pariah because of it and because I said they weren’t at the right age and I didn’t like the violence, it became a judgement of her parenting into the bargain 🤦🏻‍♀️

I just wish parents would stop being so bloody permissive. I heard one extremely intelligent parent over covid tell the queue she had to let her eight year old have access to the 12 year old game as his friends were being mean and he cried. Bloody hell of that’s all it takes to roll over the kids are basically running the joint. It’s a no and for some things it’s a hard no. End of conversation.

@RudsyFarmer love it, proper bloody order. Same in our house. We're parents to the dc not bffs.

Giving your child cream for acne - wouldn't be a gift surely? And besides, these kids aren't asking for Cetaphil - they're asking for things from Sephora and 3in1 cleansing balms and ginseng eye creams and shit like that :/

@00100001 the post I replied to said no chance of skincare (of any type) for tweens and that buying it is shitty parenting. That's what I replied to. Then she clarified she meant branded stuff and made a dig that it's sad DD asked for bog standard moisturiser for Christmas .So branded stuff is bad, but our Christmas will be sad because DD asked for something not fancy , that she's running low on.Shroedinger's skin care I guess.

@AlltheFs not fairy, no. I did ask for a fancy dish drying rack though.