Sad that childhood seems to be so short these days

[rdlong]

I just had a baby earlier this year and so I don't have this problem yet but speaking to friends and family with older children it seems like childhood now ends at about 7 years old!

Everyone is buying gifts at the moment and after 7 or even 6 years old in some cases onwards toys seem to be a thing of the past, the kids are no longer interested and they want things like ipads, iphones, gaming consoles, fancy trainers, expensive clothes, perfume, aftershave, skincare, make up, hair styling gadets, led lights for their bedroom, fancy bluetooth headphones and the like. I even heard of one 10 year old boy who is getting a record player as he wants to "get into collecting vinyl"! I was going to get my niece who is 9 a couple of books as part of her Christmas as she used to like reading but she has explicitly asked not to get books as she doesn't like how they clutter her minimalist bedroom, ditto for art supplies and craft sets, she wants people to buy her skincare, make up and jewellery from her wish list instead, she is 9!

At 9 I was starting to enjoy music and did get a small CD player but I also still was getting a few toys, as well as lots of books and lots of art materials and crafty things, puzzles and games, I was still a child at that age and I was well into my teens before I started getting anything like perfume or make up as gifts.

I just think its sad that childhood seems to be so short these days, like they go from being infants then have a year or two of childhood before they are tweenagers at 7 or 8. I know my niece watches loads of tiktok and I think she aspires to be like the older girls and young women she sees online she and her friends spend hours filming tiktoks which they don't post publicly but she is just dying to be a tiktoker.

I find it really insidious the influence devices can have, I know not every child gets to use them but so many do and even if they don't they are still exposed to the influence of social media through their peers that do have access and it means that kids who do still want toys, books or art stuff end up being laughed at if they don't have the latest teenage must have.

My friend has spent an absolute fortune on toys for her 5 year old son because its the last year he'll really appreciate them.

It makes me so sad for my own little one who I'd like to have a childhood that lasts till at least 11 or 12 and doesn't feel the need to be a teenager until they are actually a teen!

But childhood, imaginative play alone and with friends, playing outside and so on all have a role to play in how you develop if kids just go from 6 or 7 to being mini teenagers obsessed with brands and how they look and social media then they are missing out on so much that is important to their health physical and mental development. Lack of play is already been linked to worsening behaviour in schools and even lack of resilience in young adults so its a bit flippant to just shrug and say things change.

Some kids have always wanted make up etc.

Think of the three year old wanting to use mummy's make up and the everlasting popularity of face painting,

Adult women have always used make up and kids have always wanted to copy.

Nail paint, hair bobbles etc have always been popular gifts for girls throughout the ages - I don't think that means their childhood is short.

Yeah it does depend on where you live. My kids school is a small village school, and kids do seem to stay “younger” for longer here than the city where my nieces and nephews go to school. I also think you just need to gird yourself to say no to a lot of stuff. Also to set expectations.

My big mission is before my kids leave primary school to get them really into a hobby (a real life one not something online). I don’t much mind what it is but the teens I know who spend a lot of time doing a hobby spend a lot less time on their phones and are therefore nicer more well rounded people!

I agree! My niece is 8 she’s absolutely gorgeous and already understands fashion, hair, music… and is starting to age out of toys already. I still played with my barbies until I was 13!

Top of my 8 year olds list this year is a craft bag she saw at the works! She was also considering a Hermione Doll to go at the top of her want list! I think she’ll be pleased to find she’s getting both!
She is probably getting more into creating, than playing. And keen for things for hobbies… I.e. shoulder rest for violin rather than the spongy thing that came with her hired violin. Reflected in what she want for her birthday too. But she very much still plays, as do all her friends! Though many of them are maybe at the start of outgrowing toys, which I guess is where she is. She still enjoys mud kitchen etc. But I do think at around this age they’re starting to get into other things and their wants do change. But they’re still very much kids! And still enjoy toys.
Fortunately I don’t know any 8 year olds on TikTok or with phones at all really!
DC is home educated which may alter view a bit, but does have school educated friends too! We actually had a school educated friend over yesterday, 9yo girl, they spent most of time playing with sylvanian families! I wonder if it depends on area. Sad to think there’s areas where little children are behaving so strangely and developmentally inappropriately is seen as normal…!

Well, this is what happens when small children are surrounded by adults influencing them to buy adult things.

A 7yo shouldn't be on tiktok in any way at all, not even on their parents phone/account - so it's the parents who are entirely to blame.

Most a 7yo should be doing online is Minecraft, puzzle games, reading apps, Cbeebies/CBBC/Disney style apps etc.

Zero social media.

@HomeEducatingMama I may have to consider home education I think and moving to a village!

My 8 year old wants squishmallows and fimo! I would be gobsmacked if she had even heard of particular brands of skincare never mind asking for skincare for Christmas!
I also have a 12 year old, she wants some make up but has no idea what brand etc.
I don't let either of my kids anywhere near social media.

@rdlong I think most schools don't allow phones, so you should be safe longer than 6 or 7 I would hope!

My boys top wish this Christmas is the little live pets lamb. Then a bike. I think I've got years of toys yet. And my little brother (30) still loves lego and graphic novels.

I would be profoundly unhappy to be buying moisturiser for a preteen from a wishlist! Nail varnish yes, proper skin care seems mad!

As others have said, so much depends on the children around them, and their influence. I very deliberately moved to somewhere where I knew a lot of the families had the same ideas as me around ‘letting children be children’, and I think Dd (10) has benefited. She and her friends still love dolls, soft toys, imaginative play etc. We lived somewhere very different for a while, and the things she wanted and was interested in were very different, and it was all down to the children she was mixing with. I can’t afford expensive electronic kit, and didn’t want her to be surrounded by children with loads of flashy gear that she can’t have, and I wouldn’t want her to have.

Incidentally, sounds like some of these youngsters have fancy taste in skincare! What happened to teenagers dousing themselves in Charlie, and using Superdrug own skincare 😂

My youngest is almost 14 and this is the first Christmas there won’t be toys. No hurry to grow up in this household.

I find it strange too. I’ve seen a lot of threads of 8 year olds wanting skin care, branded clothing, perfume. My 8.5 year old wants a Bluey dolls house, play doh and other similar toys. I think she might be young for her age as her cousin same age is wanting real makeup, high heels and skincare too. I don’t mind. She still watches cocomelon when I put it on for her baby sister 😁

@Blessedbethefruitz @hazelnutlatte
Believe me she won't be getting the drunk elephant moisturiser but I'm just saying it what's on her list. I wouldnt buy this for myself. I don't have money for this
Also she has an older sister almost 19 so that's where she gets it from

@Blessedbethefruitz I hope so but it probably does depend where you are. The skincare is pretty shocking and using actives at 9 could actually damage her skin, it makes me sad to think that at 9 she is already worried about her looks and ageing.

btw I love your username!

Big city person here and my 8 year old wants a lego set, a spy set and a Squishmallow. Not one of her friends have a phone or are close to getting one and no parent I know would allow a child that age near social media. So you don't need to move to a village or home educate, just have to be a bit careful who your child is friends with I think.

It’s always been there to some extent. When I was a little girl I loved makeup and scent and would ask for these for Christmas (think more the gift sets you got from Grattan catalogue than high end designer though). Still loved my Pippa dolls and played with them until I was about 12. But honestly, if social media is driving this then it is the job of parents to curb it. You don’t need to get them everything they ask for either.

I'm really not flippant I guess maybe because I've had my kids . What you see of other people's kids and what they're like at home with their parents and siblings is like chalk and cheese . They might act all grown up to other people but really they are still kids .
Yes playing out is a big thing , again this all depends on where you live . I was lucky with all the places we've lived my kids were always able to play outside building dens , playing soldiers -whatever .
Children's environment will affect them .

For your minimalist neice could you club together with someone to get her a kindle? Best thing we ever bought for Ds1.

DS1 is 12 and hasn't had toys for a couple of years. Partly cos he really didnt need anymore as he had more than enough to play with. But now because he rarely plays with toys. He spends his free time playing tennis (club and with a friend or Dh), playing table tennis with a friend, reading, video games, and physical games with DS2 (kicking a ball, trampoline, swimming pool).

DS2 is 9 and is very active. He occasionally plays with toys but not much compared to when he was younger. But again because he does a lot of sport and playing physical games. He keeps checking with me that he'll get toys at Christmas but honestly I think he'll only get one or two because we still have so many! Eg he would like a nerf gun (we have at least 12 so Ive said no way) or a playmobil vehicule (again we already have loads).

I suppose the difference with my boys is that they're not asking for "teen" presents (skincare, clothes, electronics etc). In fact apart from a nerf and playmobil, neither have asked for anything...

Think it depends on the child and also your parenting. I don't view not playing with toys anymore as growing up too fast though.

My 8 year old doesn't really play with toys anymore and I don't think he is growing up too fast but if I let him sit on his PlayStation all day chatting with his mates or even worse online then it might be a different story. He entertains himself for hours at the weekend drawing, reading and playing with his younger siblings. He's also really sporty and does clubs 3 or 4 times a week which he loves. He would honestly do one every day if we had more time/money. Yes he wants all tech/gadgets for Christmas but that doesn't mean it's all he does.

I think moving would be very high on my priorities if this is what I was surrounded by. It’s madness! Certainly not the sort of environment I would want to raise my children in!

Not my experience. My 10 year old is just growing back into dinosaurs! His had a list of about 20, plus lots of other toys. We have given him a brick mobile phone, but he is not terribly interested in it. Only uses it to go to the local shop occasionally.

It’s not like this at all in my house. My 12 year old wears no make up apart from lip balm/gloss and has never used TikTok. She’s busy with her hobbies and friends and still loves her toys, though she had a lovely grown up pizza dinner out with her friends for her 12th birthday. She has very little brand awareness.

My 14 year old still loves a good Lego set but is mostly about the gym and the memes now, but that’s all age appropriate as far as I’m concerned

I work with children and I don't recognise what you are describing. Also you seem to be dismissing gaming as not play, any other interests as inappropriate , like LED lights which are the equivalent of fairy lights.

Even without that , you're massively exaggerating. They don't go from infants to 1/2 years of play and then tweenage too young. It's at least 5 years until 7.

All this tells me is that you made up your mind on your matter.

That isn't my experience at all. My 10 year old GC still likes soft toys and is always happy to receive a Lego set. They don't have a phone or an iPad they do have an enjoy playing a games console but also happy to play games, read and play with toys.