Sad that childhood seems to be so short these days

[rdlong]

I just had a baby earlier this year and so I don't have this problem yet but speaking to friends and family with older children it seems like childhood now ends at about 7 years old!

Everyone is buying gifts at the moment and after 7 or even 6 years old in some cases onwards toys seem to be a thing of the past, the kids are no longer interested and they want things like ipads, iphones, gaming consoles, fancy trainers, expensive clothes, perfume, aftershave, skincare, make up, hair styling gadets, led lights for their bedroom, fancy bluetooth headphones and the like. I even heard of one 10 year old boy who is getting a record player as he wants to "get into collecting vinyl"! I was going to get my niece who is 9 a couple of books as part of her Christmas as she used to like reading but she has explicitly asked not to get books as she doesn't like how they clutter her minimalist bedroom, ditto for art supplies and craft sets, she wants people to buy her skincare, make up and jewellery from her wish list instead, she is 9!

At 9 I was starting to enjoy music and did get a small CD player but I also still was getting a few toys, as well as lots of books and lots of art materials and crafty things, puzzles and games, I was still a child at that age and I was well into my teens before I started getting anything like perfume or make up as gifts.

I just think its sad that childhood seems to be so short these days, like they go from being infants then have a year or two of childhood before they are tweenagers at 7 or 8. I know my niece watches loads of tiktok and I think she aspires to be like the older girls and young women she sees online she and her friends spend hours filming tiktoks which they don't post publicly but she is just dying to be a tiktoker.

I find it really insidious the influence devices can have, I know not every child gets to use them but so many do and even if they don't they are still exposed to the influence of social media through their peers that do have access and it means that kids who do still want toys, books or art stuff end up being laughed at if they don't have the latest teenage must have.

My friend has spent an absolute fortune on toys for her 5 year old son because its the last year he'll really appreciate them.

It makes me so sad for my own little one who I'd like to have a childhood that lasts till at least 11 or 12 and doesn't feel the need to be a teenager until they are actually a teen!

@TadpolesInPool If I thought it would get her reading again I would buy her one myself but I think that the minimalist excuse is really just more that she wants people to spend the money on the jewellery and make up etc rather than what they feel is more appropriate. I suspect she would be gutted if I spent £100 on a kindle for her and would be much happier with a £25 charm for her bracelet or a skin serum.

Even within a class at primary school there is variation. The kids who grew up fastest were the ones whose parents were dressing them very trendily at 4 and were joking about them kissing their boy/girlfriends by KS2. Some grow up slower though.

But why is your 8 year old dd on tik tok? It's your responsibility to monitor this and she is too young for it. You can't complain that she is asking for things that are too grown up for her, whilst at the same time encouraging her to want them, by allowing her to have tik tok.

How are those her choices? That’s ridiculous for an eight year old.

i thought the minimum age for TikTok is 13.

I quite agree. I have 3 granddaughters, youngest now 11. Haven't bought toys for 3 years now 😞

Exactly this. Parents cannot moan their children are growing up too quickly, Whilst also enabling that. Problem is they all want to be the child's "friend" instead of parent.

Not all children.

My 9yo is getting a pig cushion and Lego.

My eleven year old goes on Roblox and Minecraft. No social media. No phone and amazingly has asked for normal things at Christmas.

I'm a bit 'whatevs' about being sad on kids not wanting toys anymore but I'm also a bit 'WTF' about 9 year old girls wanting fairly premium skincare, which I've heard from multiple people. I mean, is that even good for their skin at that age? That said peers were starting to want Body Shop etc around than age when I was a kid 35 years ago so toiletries isn't new - though asking for expensive brands is. I guess St Ives and Boots Natural Collection is not enough for kids today! 🤣

My 11 year DD is getting Lego and sporting gear.

Still firmly enjoying her childhood

If it has actives in then no it isn't good for them, it could damage the skin barrier and lead to acne, irritation and even premature ageing.

No kid should be on tik tok

Also puberty starts earlier these days. Most of the girls in my DDs class started their periods in year 5 and most of them had them by year 6. They have buds growing and so have to ask for bras earlier. Hormones and acne kicks in earlier which makes them conscious.

My DD asks for cream and perfume for very practical reasons as well as because all of the girls are buying it. Although she says to me “I wish I had a friend I can play Barbies with” even though she hasn’t touched a toy since the lockdown! Or her inner child comes out when she is playing with a younger kid.

It is sad that Tiktok is so influential and they know more than they should so young. Wish they could feel like and be childlike for a little longer.

This is so true. I remember being 11 & getting a lego set, book set, exclamation body spray & body shop lip balm. I loved my books & lego.
Are there any 10 year olds plus who have no or limited screen time out there anymore?

My DC(10) has put toys on his Christmas list. I’m pleased. I do think the pressure to grow up is stronger for girls.

When you say 'these days'... I mean, remember kids were going up chimneys, down mines and into the mills until education to 16 became compulsory (talking UK here) in the 1940s. In other parts of the world, kids are fetching water, caring for younger siblings and sick family members, and many are working long before they're 16. Yes, I agree that in recent years kids are being introduced to adult things much earlier, but that's a reflection of higher standards of living generally and technology ruling our lives.

I have 10 and 9 year old girls. On their Xmas list this year there’s Baby Annabels, Sylvanian Families, craft sets and books. (We live in London). What I think it is, is their friends are sweet girls who also like dolls etc, none of them are on TikTok or YouTube etc and I’ve also never told them they are ‘too old for X, Y, Z’ which sadly happens more than you might think. They also like playing with make up, but that’s very different to what you’re describing. No need to move to country, just always be positive about their toy playing and never allow social media.

Just enjoy your baby and stop worrying about/judging other people's kids and what might happen in the future.

I was just saying the same yesterday ☹️ My friend was saying her daughter (8) doesn’t want toys this year and just wants make up and clothes. It really is so tragic! There are so many years for these things, it’s just a shame they seem to now skip the inbetween stage and just jump straight in to being mini adults. It’s nice that some women’s shops now cater for children from about 9 up but when you think about it that’s just the same thing too. I don’t remember ever caring what I wore at primary school.

I have an almost 3 year old and he wasn’t allowed to even watch TV until about the last 6 months for fear of him getting addicted to it and not wanting to play with toys the same. We go out for meals and he happily plays with toys, books, stickers etc. Yes there are definitely times where it would be more convenient for us to have something on an iPad to contain him for a few minutes but we all grew up without it so it really isn’t needed and benefits them in the long run not to rely on it. I don’t blame anyone who uses one as I know how ridiculously hard it can be and I actually don’t think people realise it’s a problem because everyone else is doing it. It’s a shame you’re in the minority if you don’t go along with these things though and the older they get the harder I’m sure it is not to give in to it

This.Tik tok and other video shorts does terrible things to their concentration span.

couldn't agree with you more OP. I am so glad I was a child before all this stuff came in.

Our youngest DD is 10. She definitely still plays. She has friends at school who seem much older but I think she has a good balance of knowing what other kids are into and then just going her own way.
She loves clothes and asks for mainly gym/dance wear as those are her hobbies but she also loves slime and Lego and reading. No phone yet although she’s off to high school so will be getting one soon. She sometimes watches YouTube on the TV for art ideas and asks for art and craft stuff but has no interest in skincare.
she does want purple striped hair but who wouldn’t!? And of course knows she won’t be allowed for many a long year.

Especially cocomelon.crack for kuds!

I’ve always allowed tv, tablets and age appropriate social media alongside a lot of sports and drama and other activities. My son is 15 now and has had a phone since around age 11 or 12, uses WhatsApp to chat with classmates but has no interest in Tik Tok or Snapchat or anything like that but not because I’ve banned it, just because it isn’t his thing. I can’t sit here and say I’ve done everything right and if you parent like me your child will be the same because they are their own people and will make their own choices. The ability to regulate themselves is quite important I think.

I think it is down to where they live and access to social media too. My DD is 8 tomorrow and her main present is some Disney ily 4eva dolls and their accessories. Other things she has asked for are some books, a friendship bracelet making kit, Harry Potter toys and Lego and a board game.

For Christmas she has asked for a rainbow high doll, polly pocket set, a monster high doll, dreamzzz Lego and the minalima versions of the Harry Potter books.

She does have access to YouTube but she doesn’t watch it too often through her own choice. What she does watch is age restricted. she doesn’t have access to any other forms of internet or social media either. Her favourite thing to watch on tv is Harry Potter, fantastic beasts or teen titans so she doesn’t really watch other screens