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Original poster

Sad that childhood seems to be so short these days

156 replies

rdlong · 05/12/2023 16:08

I just had a baby earlier this year and so I don't have this problem yet but speaking to friends and family with older children it seems like childhood now ends at about 7 years old!

Everyone is buying gifts at the moment and after 7 or even 6 years old in some cases onwards toys seem to be a thing of the past, the kids are no longer interested and they want things like ipads, iphones, gaming consoles, fancy trainers, expensive clothes, perfume, aftershave, skincare, make up, hair styling gadets, led lights for their bedroom, fancy bluetooth headphones and the like. I even heard of one 10 year old boy who is getting a record player as he wants to "get into collecting vinyl"! I was going to get my niece who is 9 a couple of books as part of her Christmas as she used to like reading but she has explicitly asked not to get books as she doesn't like how they clutter her minimalist bedroom, ditto for art supplies and craft sets, she wants people to buy her skincare, make up and jewellery from her wish list instead, she is 9!

At 9 I was starting to enjoy music and did get a small CD player but I also still was getting a few toys, as well as lots of books and lots of art materials and crafty things, puzzles and games, I was still a child at that age and I was well into my teens before I started getting anything like perfume or make up as gifts.

I just think its sad that childhood seems to be so short these days, like they go from being infants then have a year or two of childhood before they are tweenagers at 7 or 8. I know my niece watches loads of tiktok and I think she aspires to be like the older girls and young women she sees online she and her friends spend hours filming tiktoks which they don't post publicly but she is just dying to be a tiktoker.

I find it really insidious the influence devices can have, I know not every child gets to use them but so many do and even if they don't they are still exposed to the influence of social media through their peers that do have access and it means that kids who do still want toys, books or art stuff end up being laughed at if they don't have the latest teenage must have.

My friend has spent an absolute fortune on toys for her 5 year old son because its the last year he'll really appreciate them.

It makes me so sad for my own little one who I'd like to have a childhood that lasts till at least 11 or 12 and doesn't feel the need to be a teenager until they are actually a teen!

OP posts:
ReadtheReviews · 05/12/2023 18:34

They shouldn't be on tiktok or YouTube. It's so weird. I agree with you op. My 8 year old is in some ways a mini teen but also has a 3 year old sister so jealousy over her presents keeps her getting toys!

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 05/12/2023 18:39

9 year olds should not IMo be anywhere near TikTok!

My Gdd1 is 8.5, and all she wants is loom bands.

HarrietStyles · 05/12/2023 18:42

This is not my experience at all. My 11 year old has just received Barbies for her recent birthday (that she asked for) and her Christmas list involves dolls, trolls, board games, Lego, and 1 switch game. I asked her if she might want something more grown up since she is almost at High School and she said no!
If you allow your children to just watch TV and play computer games then this will be the norm for them. If you time limit your children’s screen times (1 hour per day in our house) then your children will continue to play with toys and games until they have finished primary school.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

10 year olds 5 year olds 6 year olds 9 year olds
Intriguedbythis · 05/12/2023 18:44

it is 100 influenced by social media / kids growing up too young with phones or inappropriate older siblings allowing them to watch tik Tok on their phones ! As parents you must also check they are not getting influenced via family members social media.
not wanting toys at age 7-10 is not healthy imo

WeightoftheWorld · 05/12/2023 18:46

I think this must really depend where you live and your social circles etc. My niece is 8 and not asking for branded clothes. She has recently had her ears pierced so asked for earrings, but not a specific brand or style. I had mine done around the same age so I don't think that's new. Otherwise she's asked for things like baking sets, sewing sets, lego, craft sets. I don't think she really plays with toys much day to day anymore but she doesn't have access to tiktok and she doesn't have an iPad or anything like that. Her cousin on the other side is 9 and similar.

Jifmicroliquid · 05/12/2023 18:47

I still played with toys when I was 13/14 (though in private, would never have told my friends!).

My friends kids stopped wanting toys at around the age of 7, which I found really quite sad.

Intriguedbythis · 05/12/2023 18:49

@Rinkymcdinky yes that’s exactly what my kids have asked for too.
sylvanian families / maileg / art/ books etc
even the 10 year old has asked for magnetic tiles / Kapla / telescope / paints

this is what I consider complete average and age appropriate!

are the kids not asking for kids stuff the ones with social media ?!

Suctionplease · 05/12/2023 18:49

I don't think this is Universal. My DC are 11 and 13. The 13 (ds) year old has asked for Lego and some clothes. Dd (11) has asked for Crocs and skincare but that's because everyone wears Crocs at her hobby so she is aware of them and she likes the little gibbets and because she sees me doing my skincare routine. She's also asked for a squishmallow, roller skates and slime.

Intriguedbythis · 05/12/2023 18:51

@Suctionplease please Can I ask what skin care is it? Do they make a good child / tween one nowadays or is it just a regular gentle one?

Thesearmsofmine · 05/12/2023 18:53

My kids are aged between 7 and 13 and all have asked for some form of toy for Christmas. My kids aren’t on Tik Tok or other social media though so that helps.

RaininSummer · 05/12/2023 18:54

My 8 year old granddaughter isn't asking for make up and clothes. It's all about the toys still.

SummerSazz · 05/12/2023 19:00

My 17 year old got a Lego ferrari for her birthday from friends. From us this year it's all about driving lessons/insurance 🙁

My 15 year old asked for a jigsaw for Xmas and some climbing shoes.

They have had phones at 11/12 as they take the bus to school and laptops for schoolwork 12/13

Neither have ever had TikTok and only instagram from 14

Sparehair · 05/12/2023 19:07

I think there has always been differences in how interested kids are in creative play and this can also be influenced by siblings, friends etc. My sister was a fantastic creative player (now a drama teacher and writer) and I think that probably made me better at it and kept me at it longer than I might have. My ds is also a great creative player (still has a sneaky play age 13 with his lego figures when no-one is watching and I can hear him making up the dialogue). His English teacher says his stories are amazing and at school he's then one making up the games for everyone to play. Conversely dd never really got into creative play - was always more into crafts and arty stuff. She would only do it if there was another kid (ds or a friend) to take the lead and then she would enjoy it, but she couldn't get started by herself.

But, I also think screens and SM are influencing the age at which kids stop playing - screens are an immediate dopamine hit. You literally have to invest nothing. With creative play you have to invest to get back but anything can happen. You're not operating within anyone else's confines. Its a really important development stage.

Someone on a thread sometime ago mused that the fairly recent obsession with show home like houses is encouraging earlier and earlier screens as it keeps the house tidier vs toys. I'm not sure it's a major factor but I suspect there's probably some truth in it.

lilsupersparks · 05/12/2023 19:09

My daughter is 8 and wants dolls clothes and playmobil for Christmas. She has also asked for perfume mind!

My 13yo is the only one with social media. He has asked for AirPods and clothes but also will enjoy books and we all play board games and escape rooms together.

We have more success in the summer when they all want outdoor toys. In the winter they probably do spend a bit long on screens.

They all love Lego!! Books will never be ‘clutter’ in this house. There are books and Lego in every room in this house 👍🏻👍🏻

LlynTegid · 05/12/2023 19:10

About 20 years ago I read that childhood in the sense that the OP talks about has reduced about six months in every ten years. I think at that stage it was about 8 to 9 years old that toys and other allied interests started to wane.

Agree with the OP that it is a sad thing.

Fernsfernsferns · 05/12/2023 19:16

Carsarelife · 05/12/2023 16:10

I feel the same as you. I was born in 70's and was still playing with dolls at 9/10 years of age.
My DD is 8 and her list consists of - Air Jordan Trainers, Dry Robe coat, Crocs, Drunken Elephant Moisturiser etc
I blame Tik Tok
Gutted really as she's growing up way before her time

Why is your seven year old on TikTok or any social media?

their own guidelines say not before 13.

Social media is toxic and especially bad for kids and teens.

we don’t let them drive even though they could as we judge they are not able to amante the risks to themselves or others.

social media is the same. There is NO safeguarding on there. Predators are seeking out kids to groom on those platforms

there are also no or very light / poor editorial standards compared to British TV or even streamers like Netflix

get her off their and her interests will remain age appropriate

Suctionplease · 05/12/2023 19:16

Intriguedbythis · 05/12/2023 18:51

@Suctionplease please Can I ask what skin care is it? Do they make a good child / tween one nowadays or is it just a regular gentle one?

I've gone for the Spots and Stripes Teen starter kit. No idea if any good. There seem to be some decent tween/teen specific ones.

Fernsfernsferns · 05/12/2023 19:17

@Carsarelife

sorry 8 year old. But the question still stands.

would you send her to a dodgy pub on her own? No?

social media is the digital equivalent of that.

SquishmallowsForever · 05/12/2023 19:18

My nearly 13 year old has no make up or clothes on her Christmas list and three Squishmallows. She also wants a guitar, which is quite grown up, and a ton of books. Kids are different. The ones who do want make up and stuff aren’t better or worse than her. They’re actually “playing” with their gifts as much as anything, it’s just a different sort of playing.

If you want your kids to do more traditional play for longer than actively parent them so that happens. Draw together. Play board games together. Whatever it is, do it with them. Show them fun doesn’t have to stop when you grow up.

Badlylitdescent · 05/12/2023 19:21

I agree op. It’s really depressing.

Nine is a great age to start arts and crafts like sewing, painting and knitting, pottery etc.

My teens were still playing with Playmobil at thirteen, although it was with detailed models they had constructed themselves out of cardboard and bits of wood.

Carsarelife · 05/12/2023 19:23

@Fernsfernsferns isn't it there and not their?

I'm glad your parenting skills are deemed as excellent.

Sometimes she's at a play date and comes home and says she's watched gymnastics on tik tok
Sometimes she's looks at funny videos with her older sister on tik tok
Can't always be there to enforce rules

The only bad thing on her list is the moisturiser. It isn't harmful to ask for air Jordan's or Croc's

Didn't say I was buying any of what's on her list, just saying what she's put on her list.
For reference she has a Barbie Dreamhouse she plays with most days

shmivorytower · 05/12/2023 19:25

I agree and have commented before along these lines. It’s a shame. Why is everybody (parents included - because parents are encouraging this, letting this happen) so keen to leave childish things behind? For goodness sake, let them be kids!

I agree with previous posters that screens and linked passive parenting are to blame.

Also, Op. Who cares about what other people think?! What’s more important your kid, and teaching your kid to have some backbone or teaching them to ingratiate themselves with a crowd that might not even be the right fit for them?

For the record, we have a very low screen household (no own devises, things, including tv watched together perhaps once a month, no gaming) I am not giving them access to social media and a phone before they are 14. Currently under 8 and all three extremely popular and self- confident.

Growlybear83 · 05/12/2023 19:30

I tried to keep my daughter a child until she started secondary school, when I had far less influence over her. She still wanted sylvanian families when she was 9 or 10, as well as art materials and games. I never let her have any type of cosmetics, skin care, or perfume until she was in secondary school and I used to get really irritated when friends gave her make up for birthday presents when she was at primary school - anything like that just went straight into the charity box. My daughter started to get interested in music when she was 9, but none of her friends shared the same taste as her. We bought her an iPod when she started secondary school. It was long enough ago now that she didn't have a computer in her bedroom and still used the family desktop, so I could monitor what she was up to, but she didn't have a Facebook account until she was at secondary school.
I agree that it's really sad to see how quickly some children are allowed to grow up nowadays.

shmivorytower · 05/12/2023 19:33

Sorry - some typos in my post
*devices
and not giving them access to social media before they are 18 (supervised perhaps from 16).
i work in higher education and I see the damage it does to young people every day.

usernother · 05/12/2023 19:41

I know lots of children older than the ages you mentioned who aren't on social media, don't have phones, wear make up etc. They are getting books, toys, games for Xmas. I really think it depends on where you live and what is the norm there.