How many siblings do you have and has that been a positive or negative for you?

[Whatsgoingonwithmyhead]

I’ll start.

2 siblings, all very close in age

Growing up we didn’t play together loads and certainly from age 8/9 onwards we just played with our own school friends and I didn't interact with my siblings much.
(This was party probably influenced by the fact my parents didn’t do stuff to help us bond, e.g. we didn’t really go on family holidays or have shared hobbies or interests)

Money was quite tight with three kids in the house so I didn’t get to do stuff I would have liked e.g. I was desperate to do ice-skating as a child but my parents couldn’t afford it / manage the logistics so I didn’t get to do it.

As an adult my sister has mental health issues and is hugely reliant on my mum, meaning I never get to spend any time with my mum without my sister (they live together and mum refuses to leave sister home alone to come and visit me, I now live the other side of the country so it’s an overnight trip). So it’s massively impacted my relationship with my mum & not in a good way.

My younger brother moved far away and does his own thing / isn’t very communicative so I don’t have much to do with him at all, although he’s pleasant enough.

So overall although my siblings are good people, I don’t understand at all when people say a child needs siblings.

One younger brother. We bickered as children but always loved each other. We're now in our 30s and he lives seven minutes away from me. Our parents still live in our hometown up north. He's one of my best friends and our families go on holiday together. He chose a brilliant wife who I think of as a sister and my brother considers my husband a sibling too. We're very, very lucky.

I have a twin brother who bullied me terribly as a youngster. And a big sister two years older than us. I didn’t play with them much as a child as I was a very different type of kid, they had a great bond and socialised together. Now we are in our 40s my brother and I don’t talk at all but my sister is my absolute soul mate and best friend. I adore her x
i have three children 15,14 and 7 and the bond they have is unreal.

I had a good relationship with one sibling. I think it's more about how many children the parents can cope with, if adding extra children to the mix is more than the parents can manage then the family will be worse off.

One sister. I do think though that this is a bit of a pointless thread as you can't alter how many siblings you have, and you have no way of knowing what your life would have been like with more or fewer brothers and sisters.

It is what it is.

I was going to say the same. How could anyone know what a different set up would have been like? It would have depended on the personalities and situation.

I have an older brother. We got on fine growing up, but have not been in touch for years. I’d have liked a sister, but perhaps we’d have quarrelled or just been very different people. We’d have had to share a bedroom, too, which wouldn’t have been good!

One. Big, fat negative until I cut him off 40 years ago.

5, overall negative. There is a reason almost all of us have had 1 or 2 children apart from 1 sister who had a 3rd by accident when her DH and her got very drunk one New Year’s Eve.

You can never give that child enough time one on one.

5 siblings. We had a horrible childhood in some ways, physically and emotionally abusive father and then a similarly abusive (then some) alcoholic stepdad for a time thereafter, but we were so so lucky to have each other. We butt heads sometimes and some sibling combinations work better than others but we all love each other deeply and feel grateful to have each other.
I would love to have a whole bundle of kids myself but it takes me a long time to get pregnant it seems (2y with my son, and 2y and counting for the next) and I’m 30 already so I can’t see myself having the four or five I wanted.

I love my 3 siblings dearly and although we are spread out geographically spending time with them as adults is one of my favourite things.

We were lucky to be financially comfy so still managed holidays etc and being the oldest I was least likely to have to sleep on the floor when there wasn't enough room for all of us.

I get on with all of them much better as as adult and the younger 2 drove me nuts as a kid but all in all I love having a big family.

I have three siblings and get on well with them, but it’s a bit of an imponderable really - I don’t know any different so can’t say if I would have been better or worse off with a different number of (or no) siblings.

It always surprises me when these threads come up how many people have a poor or no relationship with their siblings, which does give lie to the idea that a child ‘needs’ a sibling in order to be happy.

It could be helpful though for people trying to plan their own families. I am currently wondering how much trouble and expense it is worth going to to attempt to give my only living child a sibling, so this seems like an interesting thread for me to follow.

I have one sister. We were close when we were little and played together a lot so I’d say it was a positive thing growing up. She lost interest in spending time with me when she was a teenager as she preferred her own friends and we’ve barely spoken since. We don’t hate each other by any means but we’re very different people and just don’t have anything in common. I wouldn’t say she adds much to my life now to be honest. I will be giving my son siblings because my husband and I want more children, but I don’t think my son necessarily needs siblings to be happy.

I'm one of 6. I love all my siblings and we all get on. I'm closest to one sister and see her a lot and our dc are close in age. We were very loved by our parents but we had quite a lot of freedom.

Could never do many hobbies as logistically not possible. OTOH I have one dd (12) and she's been able to develop a real talent for a particular sport but it takes a lot of time (4x weekly training) then competitions that can be around the county and beyond. Two of my siblings have 2 dc and the other 3. 2 don't have any and prob won't due to age.

One sister, 5 year age gap so we weren't close until I was grown. I of course idolised her as a child and she found me irritating so we fought a lot as children. She was the family favourite as first grandchild/niece and I was jealous at times.

We had lots of interests in common but wildly different lifestyles. We had great relationship as adults, but didn't live close to each other.
I miss her terribly.

One brother, 16 months older. We went through a stage when we were in our early teens where we regularly tried to kill each other! But that didn't last long and we've been the best of friends since. I always wanted a sister, so I was thrilled when he married a lovely girl that I now consider as close as a sister. And they had three kids, so I got to live vicariously through them (I have no kids) as the favourite Auntie.

My bro and I are now in the stage of caring for elderly parents. Well, one parent now, we lost Dad almost a year ago. We now all live in the same country town and share the load between us. It's brought us even closer together, as it has with the whole family.

I lucked out with my brother, I think he's fabulous! We're as different as chalk and cheese, but that's what makes us get on so well. I wouldn't change him for the world!

Two siblings. I'm a chunk older, by 6 and 8 years, so playing together wasn't really a thing until the Sega Mega Drive made an appearance 😁

Money was tight and bedrooms were shared but the house was so much more alive with additional siblings than when I was an only and I felt the relief of not being the only kid and the concentration of attention that landed on me alone.

I loved being a part of helping to look after them when they were born and teaching them to read. It wasn't thrust upon me, I just liked being in the mix. When they were older there was always someone around to chat to and their own interests/reading/ music tastes made the home richer - if not a little nosier.

When my ddad got sick and passed away it was a loss we felt together and not burdened alone and that was a comfort. Now we all have children and a veritable tribe when we get together for holidays/ birthdays/Christmas.

We don't live in each other's pockets but I wouldn't have had it any other way, not for a walk in closet or a pony.

Two siblings here too and all three of us close in age. I get on with both of them very well and consider them both as my friends, I see one of them every week to every other week and the other one more frequently (sometimes a couple of times in one week). But they pretty much hate eachother, they are very different people / personalities (with me prob being somewhere in the middle of the two), they didn't get on as children and still don't now.

Twin sister, one older brother and sister (4 of us grew up together four years between youngest and oldest) and younger half-sister (much younger). Was not always easy particularly following my parent's separation but would not have it any other way we are all very close I would consider and we bickered like goodness knows what at times especially as kids but knowing I have their support is lovely and being able to share in being an Auntie is lovely as well 😊 Having said that totally agree that not all siblings have a great relationship - nothing is guaranteed.

Two siblings: an older brother by 18 months; and a much younger sister by 9 years. I got on really well with my brother, mainly because my parents were locked in mortal combat and we were a team against the world. I found my younger sister a bit irritating for some years when she was small as we shared a bedroom and, as I entered early teens, that cramped my style with friends visiting. And I did quite a bit of babysitting.

But now as adults, and for many years, we get on fine together, although we live a distance apart. WE are in constant phone and whatsapp communication and provide support for each other. My brother helped me so much with various financial issues when my OH died, and with advice when I subsequently moved house. My sister is a constant emotional support. With both, I have offered support to them as well. They are a very positive element in my life.

Five siblings, always entirely positive, and I'm in my 60s now.

I have four siblings. My older sibling has been my lifeline. She has supported me so much throughout motherhood despite us living far away.

Could have murdered my younger brother growing up, we always argued. Now we are actually quite close and I do love him to pieces.

Younger two I adore and would do everything for.

We have a very close family and I wish I could have 5 kids but I can barely manage with the kids I have now.

I have 4 brothers,all older some I’m closer to than others. Can’t say any of us live in each others pockets, but we’re there for each other.

but I have foster brothers and sisters, 14 of which I still keep in touch with birthdays/christmas. I’m not sure how many mum and dad fostered seemed always to have a house full.

my brothers and I were always nice to them, especially the long termers , but I’m not sure I would recommend parents doing it quite as much as my parents did. I know it’s a worthy thing todo, and my parents were wonderful caring people, but it was to much, to many. I know they loved us, but I often felt I resented the foster children

I have one sister. We played as children and also fought. My parents treated her as the favorite (she’s younger and tiny). Caused a lot of animosity between us. We are ok now, I love her but honestly I wish I had been an only child or maybe had a brother instead.

I'm the third of six. The older two were from dm's first marriage but her dh died when they were small so have no memory of him and they weren't seen as anything other than full siblings and my df's children by anyone when we were growing up.
I will be honest I didn't like having siblings, I am an introvert in a family of extroverts and found it hard work. I loved them but would have been happier if I didn't have to spend much time in their company and tbf that continues to this day.
I'm not close to any of them, exchange the odd text and birthday and Christmas cards but that's about it. Once df died there no longer seemed to be a reason to all meet up together if I'm honest and so we didn't.
Number 4 and 5 remain close as they did as children and 1 and 6 are close geographically so see each other reasonably regularly but there is no family meet ups suggested or wanted on my part anyway.

I have 5 siblings - overall negative. Alcoholic parents - who prioritised their addiction over providing us with the basics. The atmosphere was like Lord of the Flies, bullying, abusive and overly competitive. I'd say anyone who was brought up in the way I was would be lucky not to be screwed up by it in some way. I try not to blame my siblings for the way they are but they were a negative influence in my life and I never want to see them again.