Middle class families seem so much busier in the run up to Christmas

[Santasfakebeard]

The mc families in DC school seem to have something on the whole month of Dec judging by the dc's class whatsapp groups. Is it just a middle class thing? Pantos, choirs, concerts, wreath making & mulled wine family evenings, markets abroad, carol singing.
I would love my dc to experience it all but we simply don't have the funds.
Is it just the mc & umc that can afford to offer their dc those festive experiences?

Yeah I agree with this I think. I made some MC mum friends at baby groups while my kids were young and I still have them on Facebook though we don't really socialise anymore.

Definitely a focus on experience rather than gifts. They do panto trips to the city with Christmas markets, craft sessions at local heritage sites etc.

We still do stuff but it tends to be local and cheaper. I do crafts and baking at home with them so I don't think they are missing out in any way but the difference is interesting.

I focus more on buying presents that I know will entertain them for a long time rather than a 2 hour experience.

You forgot packing for upcoming ski trips…

No. The expensive wreath making ones are just to be seen at. I've seen some bookshops & florists advertising them in London always led by a exclusive floral arranger or botanist 😅 crazy money. Some are also parent & child. Saw one for 60 quid adults & 30 per child (starting at 8 years up)

The only paid for things we are doing is Blenheim palace lights and a steam train thing. It was not too expensive.

DP is also taking DD to the theatre to see The Snowman because she loves it and so does he - and she will have finished school. I'll be working.

None of it costs as much as the holiday club I've got to pay for as school goes back so late in January.

Well if "class" is a thing, rather than income, I agree.

But I fail to see how paying £££££ for a football season ticket is somehow less classy than paying £££££ to go to the opera. Surely people can have different interests in life without being marked as a certain "class".

In my view most of us are working class by definition, because we work for a living, either employed or for ourselves. Everyone else lives on a private income or benefits.

Oh yes the being very busy all the time and the "busy mum" trope.

I am not busy. I have a part-time job, I have one child (away at university) and no pets.

I did set my son up for middle class failure though by not taking him ski-ing. He did learn to play golf though.

In my view most of us are working class by definition, because we work for a living, either employed or for ourselves. Everyone else lives on a private income or benefits

Exactly this. I refuse to label myself or others.
If I can afford to live off inheritance then I am wealthy. If I have to work to pay the bills then I am not. It really is as simple as that

Remember too, people only share their best lives on social media, or even group chats, etc.
You don't get to see the mundane stuff, or anything not absolutely perfect which they do not want you to see.
I don't pay any attention, we do us and let everyone else do them.
My sister is always 'keeping up with the Jones's', living a life she wants people to believe in rather than what they can afford, and as a result they'll be paying the mortgage off for at least two more decades yet.
Priorities I suppose, at a price.

For me the most mc festivity thing I have seen on social media wasn't Christmas it was Halloween... Ben Fogles wife (Marina Fogle) insta is fascinating! She had a post up of her daughter & co dressed up for Halloween & trick of treating through their village on horseback! Probably more UMC but wow! And if you have the horses why not go trick or treating on your horse! I loved the post 😁🐴

I prefer Xmas experiences to lots of gifts. I take DC and now dgc to see Santa, paint Xmas baubles which get fired then go back to collect them 2 weeks later, ice skating once or twice in December, Xmas market, Panto in early January. DH and I generally go to theatre for Twelfth Night or to see Nutcracker ballet in December. We also do free things. I collect for cones with DGC earlier in year, dry them then spray paint them. Cut up old Xmas cards I save each year add glitter to make gift tags. I make my own Xmas floral arrangement by picking twigs with leaves and spraying them and adding to the holly I pick from my garden. I bake cupcakes and cookies and decorate with Xmas decorations. DGC love helping these. Put together a ginger house you can buy from a supermarket.

Tell me about it. Many people would have more “energy” if they didn’t have health problems they could treat privately. If they had parents who weren’t always stressed about money. If they could afford healthy food/gym etc. If they could afford the days out as this often involves time off work (some jobs you can’t even book time off in December, this was was my childhood).
I have been at both ends and I remember being too stressed to even book “free stuff”. Or working out how many trips I could afford to do when I filled up the tank. Saying no to friends invites. I was always so behind on everything due to financial stress. Now things are different and we are doing a lot more this year with DD who we do spoil but I always have that underlying anxiety before paying for an expensive event or buying her something. It never leaves you somehow.

Yip. I know one family (dad) who had extremely rich great grand parents (they were educated by tutor and did the ‘grand tour’), grandparents were sent off to boarding/finishing school, parents went to a solid independent day school, as did they. Their kids are now cramped in a small house in the catchment for an outstanding state secondary. They still see themselves as UMC because they have been always been told they are… It’s all just so outdated.

I’m more financially pushed this year than other years.
My kids are young so they don’t notice what their peers are doing.
I booked a cheap Santa & that’s all we’re spending on.
Ive been tempted by other things like Christmas movie events but have to remind myself at their age it isn’t worth it. If they are older I’d still do them at home with a few sweets/different treats, make a bit of a thing of it, next Sunday we’ll watch X type thing.

I’ve kept an eye out for free alternatives, so Santa & a pony experience costs a bit near us but the ponies will be there when they switch on the Christmas lights so we’ll go to that.

Someone else said the MC just know about museums etc. I can’t agree with that, we can all use google.

I do agree with the above poster’s being too stressed to think about free events etc.

We have been stymied in our usual Advent activities by the timing of the holidays this year. DH and I both teach and we try to keep the weekends of autumn 2 reasonably quiet, partly because it is such a nutty time for schools (I always lose one, sometimes two weekends to marking mock papers), partly because we have a number of family birthdays in Nov and Dec, and partly because someone always ends up being unwell. As we have the privilege of term-time jobs we usually do a few things in the first week of the holidays, well spaced-out as DC2 is autistic and can't cope with too much. This year we don't break up until the 22nd and it has been really quite tricky trying to find festive activities for that second week of the holidays as so many of them end on Christmas Eve.

Totally agree, dd(15) goes to a private school and everyone is so busy except us as we're on benefits! There are loads of free events but then everything at them is so expensive so I don't bother going now. She is going to the panto with her GPs and she's looking forward to that. She's off to winter wonderland with the school next week but we can't afford all the add ons. Dd2's in laws are off en masse skiing for Christmas but dd2 and her family are coming here as she prefers our traditional Christmas.

I think my family are now in the middle class bracket owing to where we live and both of us earning 50k+ , however we both come from working class backgrounds (I was FSM as both my parents weren't earning enough) and have found found social mobility through a mix of hard work, access to education and some good love and encouragement , like many others I think. Lots of people have experienced social mobility and I do wonder whether all these events at Christmas that people do , are what they do because they think they should , because that’s what tv families who were middle class on the BBC did whilst we were younger? I love Christmas time , but what I love is the movie marathons and wrapping up cosy , I love the church services and the. Rearing cards at home. I find summer is generally busy and always out of the house , Christmas time is about being at home to me.

I don’t think it is a class thing. Some of the things you mention are free or relatively low cost.

Wreath making: I am wreath making with a group of ladies at a friend’s house. £10 for the ring and bring along a bit of greenery. She is cooking a chilli.

Choirs and Concerts: My kids will be in a Christmas concert as they are in the school orchestra and I am a member of a choir in my village.

Family and social occasions: We will have drinks around the village and with our families but these are generally impromptu things. I find if you are generous with your hosting you will get invited in return.

Trips away: We are going to Ireland on New Years Day to see my husbands relatives. If trips are booked well in advance they don’t cost the earth. Flights were £30 per person and the hotel is £120 a night for a family room.

Christmas is about what you want to do, so please don’t compare with others. Would I like to afford to take my kids to Lapland? Probably. Can I? No. They will still have a lovely festive season whatever you choose to do.

@ichundich totally agree with you. I have Eastern European friends who say growing up in communist times meant the arts were accessible to all very cheaply & music/literary education was extremely important in schools. They same even now in their home country the attitude has remained the same & the arts we consider high brow here are still accessible to all in their homeland.

In my view most of us are working class by definition, because we work for a living

You can make up your own meaning of working class if you like, but that's not what it means.

I guess I’m MC - teacher, so professional job. I’ve done/do the things the OP mentions every year (except markets abroad - never done that). I did have a cleaner for w while when - 2 hours a week to clean the kitchen and bathroom and hoover… No nanny. No dry cleaned clothes (couldn’t afford, and there wasn’t a dry cleaner in the (rural) town I lived near), didn’t eat out a lot when DD was small. Bit more now, but not enough to impact cooking and washing up so you would notice…
It’s none of those things. It’s more connected to hobbies and also what I enjoy. WC parents and 70s childhood, so not really habit(except the concerts, but that’s because I always played in them).

From having creative hobbies and doing fun activities like going to g( theatre?
Are you serious?

@enchantedsquirrelwood the funniest I heard the other day in the WhatsApp group I mute for some reason lol... "we'd like to do Winter Wonderland in London twice in December but we can never find an afternoon free! I nearly sent back a tiny violin gif...

What is this thread originally about ?? Oh yeah …justifying why you are or aren’t middle class to complete strangers….weird

I guess I’m MC - teacher, so professional job. Oh my goodness I've just googled for fun what occupations are middle class and I'm pleased to tell you that you have indeed made it into the lower middle class spectrum along with nurses, secretaries and small shop owners. Therefore anybody who sells on Etsy is lower middle class too. What a load of codswallop it all is. If you have a salaried job, low savings and not much disposal income you are LMC apparently which surely accounts for the majority of the workforce who earn a monthly salary. Why on earth do people want to classify themselves so much. It cannot possibly make anyone feel better about themselves surely?

Thanks @Novelhelp ! Nice to know it’s confirmed.
I’m what I’d call culturally working class as that’s my background - grandads were miners. I’m a single parent too (though DD is an adult now) so half the income of a nuclear family.
I’m a bit sad about your 20min Christmas dinners though. I remember a s a child spending ages over the table from childhood to parenthood - lots of talking and silliness, several courses, children allowed to wander off between courses to do stuff. I bloody love Christmas dinner - I accept as a Pop said that the food isn’t necessarily treat food anymore, but I wouldn’t ever have all of it at once - starter (pâté usually), massive roast with more veg than usual and sides like stuffing, pudding, cheese and biscuits, coffee and mints, all paired with drinks. Love it.