Middle class families seem so much busier in the run up to Christmas

[Santasfakebeard]

The mc families in DC school seem to have something on the whole month of Dec judging by the dc's class whatsapp groups. Is it just a middle class thing? Pantos, choirs, concerts, wreath making & mulled wine family evenings, markets abroad, carol singing.
I would love my dc to experience it all but we simply don't have the funds.
Is it just the mc & umc that can afford to offer their dc those festive experiences?

We've already got through two boxes of the Christmas chocolates. The fact is we don't buy them the rest of the year because they're shite.

@feralunderclass im sorry you feel that nothing is a treat. It feels like a treat to me to sit round a festive table with all my family in high spirits and eat a lovely roast goose and laugh and chat.

Sure; if I wanted to I could buy and eat roast goose anytime but it’s the occasion that makes it special. You sound a bit depressed?

No, thankfully not depressed at all. Good food and family gatherings are a regular thing for me which I'm very grateful for. I'm more thinking in a way it's a shame everything is always available so there's nothing really to get excited about food wise.

Havn't read the whole thread but agree to a certain extent. The middle class families I know would spend less on Christmas presents etc but go to lots of Christmassy events, presents more likely to be a nice bottle of gin, homebaked goods, homemade chutneys, jams etc beautifully labelled.
They certainly seem to have a busier Christmas & have inside knowledge as to what is on!
It's all very Charles Dickens-esque/victorian!
Can be replicated easily with good local knowledge of events, homemade baking /crafting & plenty of Christmas cheer😁

Do you not think that social media makes you more aware of events going on? I previously never bothered with Facebook and heard of events after the fact. Now I'm on there I see ads for different events local to me so I'm just aware more overall of events going on. A work colleague mentioned panto to me when my bigger two were aged 2 and 3. For some reason I had always thought of it as being a very posh activity so therefore not suitable for me but we booked it that year and had a blast. It's a yearly thing for us now, I book the tickets in February usually when they first come out. This year they've pushed the date for release even earlier ( in December) for next year's panto. It is expensive as we are a family of 5 and it's in a theatre in Edinburgh. We might do a local one next year instead. We are doing a lights show at the park and that is pricey too but there's a lot included that our kids enjoy. I've reigned it in this year as the kids have got a xmas fair at school nativity, xmas lunch and party and dd has a xmas party at guides too. We might go to the xmas Market but Edinburgh is mobbed at the moment so that puts me off.

There is more we could do though, several nearby softplays are doing breakfast with santa, a Christmas experience, a nearby baker is doing a session baking xmas biscuits, festive afternoon tea . We don't actually celebrate xmas but it's cold and gets dark early so the lights and xmas events are just something to do to give you a bit of a boost.

It has taken me three years to work out that if you want to do anything even vaguely festive in December, you need to start looking in the summer.

We've got a busy December but I think that's partly because there are really only 3 weekends and with a 5 year old, our weekends are already quite full with birthday parties and various hobbies.

But, excluding one weekend, it's mainly seeing friends and / or making the day we put up the Christmas tree a family day with my older son and brother. Putting up the tree has sort of become its own tradition.

We have got a cottage in the Cotswolds for Christmas but a. It's an air BnB, b. It's in the village I grew up in and c. It's close to where most of my family still live and their places are too small to host us all.

MC extroverts !

its this constant need to always have experiences and be with other people

it’s strange and whilst I guess I’m mc im not doing much this year in the run up

One of the things we are doing is a carol service being put on by work. That's free and midweek.

We will also probably go to south bank at the weekend but don't most people try and do something with their small kids to make life easier? Walking around London seeing the lights isn't expensive.

This simply isn't true. I'm not MC (I don't actually believe in 'classes' and refuse to classify anyone).

I know about events in museums and events because I take the children to them throughout the year. I look at future events from January to Dec which is how I know what is on in December. And don't worry if you have missed it this year because very often the museum events are aimed at quite young children and sound a lot better than the reality is for older primary children.

We do all of those things but a lot of the tickets…panto and ice skating etc I get through my work social club. Either free or discounted.

We do loads of Christmas build up stuff, mostly free or low cost. Visiting the lights in the next village, baking at home, watching Christmas films. It’s not because we have money it’s because we love it!

I agree.

It's all about being seen to be doing stuff (even if you don't actually enjoy all of it that much).

I have a middle class income and job but just don't share the need to be doing things all the time. We did go to the panto a few times (usually on NYE for something to do) but ds didn't usually do anything in particular in the run up to Christmas. Weekends in December were taken up with visits to various aged and not so aged relatives.

I sang in my school choir so was usually busy with a couple of carol concerts and the rehearsals, but that was it.

OK, I think I've officially made it to MN's MC after reading this thread.

In short, OP, yes, it's expensive. My attitude is to provide experiences to my DS, as well as good standard education.

However, I don't think it's impossible to do a lot on a smaller budget. We spend at least 30% of spare time outdoors regardless of the weather, and more if it's dry. This doesn't cost much - petrol and parking. Museums are free. Local pantos by amateur theatre groups are cheaper than those in main theatres. Local Christmas markets and craft fayres are free to attend. There are multiple charities and local councils offering Santa Grottos. You can create craft and baking activities at home which will be greatly beneficial to children and not too expensive.

I think this is partly to do with money, but mostly to do with outlook on life and various opportunities. I really don't always go ahead with the most expensive events and attractions for DS, but research, think, and choose what's best for him and it's actually a real mix.

We, I guess are we MC.

We used to do Santa, what a fucking disaster that was each and every time, the kids hated it, we hated it, but we did it for a bit.

We never did Elf on a Shelf that just seemed nuts.

We have done the occasional ice skating session, again only when the parents could hold onto the "help you stand up seal" did we get anywhere. "Push daddy push"

I have been suggesting we do to London to see The Nutcracker, how middle class is that, the whole she-bang in one swift swoop, expensive tickets, capital city, ballet in sparkly costumes FFS, the whole family look at me like I have lost my senses. I have no idea what the nutcracker is about and thought it might be educational.

We can drag them out for a walk. Once we get going it's generally not too bad. And we have a mulled wine and hot chocolates in our local on our way home. Our local does hang up tinsel and fairy lights it's plenty. (no big open fires mind they just put you to sleep and you don't want to do the short walk home)

Almost every, without fail, craft activity has been approached with the enthusiasm of a wet mop.

The one exception to all of this is panto. We buy the tickets and they are part of the presents. They still like the slapstick and cheeky jokes and tend to side with the baddie!

So that's what they don't/didn't enjoy, basically almost everything.

What they love, still love, and refuse to let us stop because they love it so much, are making "meat buffet items with Dad" on Christmas Eve because he is never around with time to cook with us usually. Mum reading out handy hints and tips from festive murder mystery stories on how I am gathering enough evidence to be able to commit and get away with many festive crimes should the need arise, making sure Muppets Christmas Carol is the last Christmas film we watch on Christmas Eve, opening their stockings in our room.
Playing games together on Christmas Day. And if we have a clear night and are lucky watching out for the ISS or something else fun up in the sky.

Very little of what our kids actually enjoy/enjoyed could be instagrammed, or was anything to compare to others against, very little was the expensive entrance or planning. They don't judge their Christmases by what is in our diary or what other's are doing.

You don't need sweeping gesture after sweeping gesture after sweeping gesture, OP for your kids to have Christmas Magic. Loads of people have loads of christmas magic ready to be swept up steal some of theirs!. A cheap shopping centre Santa, local band/choir singing carols, local am dram or small theatre christmas show, a walk around people's outdoor christmas lights, play some board games together, pick a festive movie that is already free each night.

You can write a letter to Santa and post it, you can make snowball pom-pom decorations for the tree that can come out each year. Make ginger biscuits and let them get icing over every surface in the kitchen EVERY SURFACE. You can have classical FM for the traditional carol music singing. It's actually quite relaxing. You can put together a cardboard box with some wrapping paper and add a few cheap things in their to donate to a local food bank/charity for someone who will have even less than you this Christmas (selection boxes/box of mince pies) and just introduce the kids to remain humble in what they do have or get. There are always people who get less.

Basically we dipped our toe into the MC diary filling activities and events and they just felt shallow, forced fun. Not magical at all. We found our magic by being together and just being ourselves but the fun ourselves giving our kids all the time we couldn't during usual working/school weeks.

I am still intent on going to The Nutcracker at some point, if they all don't want to come I will find someone else who does. But that's for another year.

but just don't share the need to be doing things all the time

Perhaps ;your children might enjoy them though? Parenting means doing things to enhance and develop your children's minds and bodies surely? I'd love to stay and home and watch Four In A Bed every weekend but that is hardly conducive to developing minds?

Are most of the things you’ve listed not free? I would think people can afford anything there except pantos?

The nutcracker is great but the prices for the royal opera house or the coliseum are very expensive. Plus you need to buy tickets in august (not joking),

More UMC really!

I saw The Nutcracker a couple of years ago and I actually didn't enjoy it as much as I hoped. I'd spend the money on Swan Lake if I were you.

I don't think ds would have liked wreath making :) He's 21 now, I think he was happy enough with the things we did do. Going round looking at the town's Christmas lights was usually a hit (and free if you walk or cycle).

We couldn't do things at weekends because we had to visit relatives (most are sadly no longer with us).

We did go to Germany a few times for the Christmas markets but that was mainly to see friends and the markets were a nice sideline.

I would like to go to see the Nutcracker though :)

Or Swan Lake (although I did go to see that in Germany many moons ago)

@kirinm The nutcracker is great but the prices for the royal opera house or the coliseum are very expensive. Plus you need to buy tickets in august (not joking),

I know, once in a lifetime opportunity, which is why I am not embarking on this with the rest of the family unless they have full interest. I might end up going on my own!

Ps I once told my in law about the time I went to a panto as a child. She said ‘of course you did, you were rich.’ We went once and she’s actually gone since!!! People see what they want to see, op, you’ll find most people get things as deals or as presents

Wild swimming? 🤣🤣 A quick dip in the sea is not wild swimming!