Middle class families seem so much busier in the run up to Christmas

[Santasfakebeard]

The mc families in DC school seem to have something on the whole month of Dec judging by the dc's class whatsapp groups. Is it just a middle class thing? Pantos, choirs, concerts, wreath making & mulled wine family evenings, markets abroad, carol singing.
I would love my dc to experience it all but we simply don't have the funds.
Is it just the mc & umc that can afford to offer their dc those festive experiences?

I suppose we are MC, and the only two paid things we are doing are the panto, and wreath making. We are also doing a carol concert, Christmas tree festival and various church services and activities like christingle which are all free through our church. In my experience it seems to be those on a lower income bracket who plaster all their Christmas activities over social media like Santa visits, lights walks, massive piles of gifts and food and various winter wonderland stuff.

You know what's funny? I spent years doing the MC thing of Christmas: hand made crafts, themed trips out with kids, Xmas markets etc. not to mention office Xmas party, Xmas concerts, nativity costumes, handmade gifts. I had about 5 Christmas books with ideas from Nigella to Sarah Raven to Scherezade Goldsmith.

I did love it but it also meant I ended up overdoing it, overwhelmed and almost had a nervous breakdown every year from burnout.

Now my mission is to do less. I avoid all social engagements in December. I don't make things. I get my kids to put the Christmas decorations up. I have the laziest, easiest, latest Xmas dinner.

And I now love it. I love making beautiful crafts all year round so I don't do the cheap easy crappy stuff at Xmas. I've tailored it to do exactly what I want, no more no less. I'd recommend this as a tactic.

I agree with the PP who said it's not just at Christmas. My parents were broke, so when I was growing up weekends were very boring and we didn't really go anywhere other than feeding ducks stale bread at the park. Going on any day out that costs money was a massive exciting treat for me. Now I've got kids of my own and we can afford activities, we are busy nearly all the time.

I also think that families with disposable income are more likely to prioritise experiences over things. Whereas when you're broke, you save up for "things", because those things can entertain you even when you can't afford a day out or a holiday etc. That goes for both adults and children.

(Plus if you have enough money you already have all the things, so what's left to spend money on other than nice experiences)

I don’t consider myself to be MC but I have a fairly busy run up to Christmas.

im on a fund raising committee so the fun kick started at the weekend with Christmas bingo, then there’s the Christmas party for them and the meetings to arrange it.
I also have my work do, and 2 other groups I belong to’s do’s. Also a themed night out with friends.
im attending a display for an activity dd1 does at uni and then we’ll go to the Christmas market in her uni city. I have a lights trail booked and will certainly be going ice skating with the dds when dd1 comes home from uni. Will probably go to the outdoor carol concert in town too so long as it’s not pouring with rain.

no panto as Went to the one that tours the country at Easter as dd1 was in it. I think writing it all down I do sound a bit middle class, but I’m still not convinced I am 😂

It’s not a class thing it’s a money thing

I’m a single mum and we do all these things, I wouldn’t say MC but I want to enjoy the whole of December with my daughter and it’s as much for me as it is for her, I never had these experiences growing up.

I save all year and our activities are part of that expense so it’s all accounted for. We did the panto on Saturday, then we have a weekend at Alton Towers, a festive afternoon tea, classic cinema to see a Christmas movie, markets as well as her brownie panto, school parties etc. When she’s at her dad’s I’m doing things myself too, wreath making, work do, Chris and Rosie Ramsey live etc.

Last year we went to Lapland but that’s a one off and to avoid disappointment this year we’re having a weekend away instead. She’s 8 now and doesn’t want much so I’d rather spend of experiences instead.

I should say though that in years when I couldn’t afford it we did things for free that would add to the magic, we made our own reindeer dust and then sold the remaining bags at the hospice I work at. We baked for the big day and did lots of cheap things. The panto we saw was at the local am dram group so was about £18 a ticket (rather than the arena in Glasgow at an extortionate price!). Christmas is what you make it! Right now we’re designing a Christmas card on my cricut machine for her to give to her teacher and she’s loving it!

Probably; there are also live streamings of the Nutcracker from the Royal Opera House. Still costs a bit (£16 at one local community cinema here) but a lot less than getting up to London.

https://www.roh.org.uk/tickets-and-events/the-nutcracker-in-cinemas-details#:~:text=Find%20a%20screening-,Live%20from%20Tuesday%2012%20December%202023%20at%207.15pm%20(GMT,December%202023%20at%202pm%20(GMT) oops, here's the link

I think it's that "Waitrose makes me better than you" mentality. Being seen to be UMC is such a competitive sport. Whether it be the name you give your child, your after-school activities or what you do with that bloomin' soft toy pet you have to take home and write a diary for.

Ironically Upper Class folk are probably far more down to earth - eating what they like for Christmas and having a plastic tree if they want one. I used to go to the Carol Concert at the church where the Princess of Wales apparently spent her childhood and has spent Christmas since being HRH. I never absorbed it being anything other than a lovely Service but now of course, I imagine it's THE place to go. Same problem with where I used to go on holiday for a quiet beach. They got a Waitrose, then a Lifeguard Station and suddenly it's THE place to go.

I also blame Dickens. I've been teaching Christmas Carol and it's full of "perfect" Christmas middle class values.

I was at a Christmas market recently and there were stalls and shops giving out mulled wine and mince pies for free. It didn't stop these type of folk paying £6 from an artisan van for a plastic cup of mulled wine. I think it's a veneer they need to create that they are having the perfect Christmas to meet Dickens standards of MC values. They're the ones who fund those vile places where you spend £20-40 each to queue in a "Winter Wonderland" to meet Santa.

I think the rest of us either just don't have the money or just gave a good deal of common sense.

If it helps I have a friend who is from aristocracy and his family did nothing over Christmas apart from a few pics in front of the tree that someone else had prepared and a meal with family who hated each other!

@Silvergreenblue

You can be miserly and middle class.

This made me laugh. It’s so true! My parents are MC & they hate spending money. Hate it!!! I fear I’m turning into them however

It's not really a thing now, not in real life.

When my children were younger I did loads of things. Visits to santas, farms, afternoon teas, chill factore snow activities….you name it I’ve likely done it. They have spent a lot of time doing a sport (not football) and that’s what they enjoy now. If I tried to tell my son I had booked a Santa activity over his weekend match he would be devastated!

I decided decorating our home together, not being insanely busy (as the husband is at work on Xmas night) and cheaper activities that weren’t mega expensive or lengthy would suit us better. Husband is also working every weekend in the run up to Xmas which combined with their sport made Xmas activities get toned down a bit.

Weve been to the local garden centre, might go old school and drive to see some local (free) Xmas lights, I’ve bought some donuts to decorate on Xmas Eve and I want to take them to see the new Willy wonka film.

I would dread to think how much I’ve spent over the years. I don’t regret it, but I can’t recall every year…..so it could obviously have been toned down. I’m not an avid social media poster either.

We always did a lot of nice stuff in December when I was a child. We’d make Christmas cards with Mum; have games nights with friends; go carol singing down our street; go to church to listen to a carol concert; make mince pies…

My parents were as poor as church mice, but we did a lot.

My December is frantic with work, volunteering, nights out etc. I don’t have time to do any of that nice stuff anymore 🙁.

I'd say we're mc. We spend more on experiences and less on gifts than the 'wc' families we know. A friend of mine has 3 kids and budgets £600 each for gifts for them. We don't spend £600 total on our 2 children and other family members. But we do spend £600 on Christmas activities - carol concerts, panto, lights walk, meals out etc.

We have lots of festive experiences on, but not everything has cost a fortune, at least half is free. You just need to look for it. Local Christmas lights switch ons with music shows. Light trails- yes there are free ones. Christmas markets, usually have free kids entertainment, go just after lunch so you don't need to buy food. Wreath making at home, I went thirds with my sister's buying materials from Amazon/ local florists stockers, it's lasted us a few years- I haven't bought anything new this year and will get branches off the neighbours for free.
Garden centres are fab, full of festive decorations, we saw a free Santa arrival parade. Local community Christmas fairs, churches and schools, everything is usually very cheap.

We are busy.

This week we have panto & disco.

Both cost £5 each (scouts trip to local panto & school disco).

We have weekends booked up but usually meeting people for dog walk & Sunday lunch. Don't like the crowds of the winter wonderland type places. True umc ice skate in morzine in Feb, not Birmingham in November.

Not sure that fits with your £££ assumption?

More money/more freetime/more of a social life

What's your definition of a MC family @Santasfakebeard?

I am middle class. Cambridge degree. High earner. I have nothing planned this Dec... Want to chill.

But, I sometimes think I am not properly middle class. Just clever...

Just to add that many of the families stop doing this stuff when their children turn into grumpy teenagers.

You have to sign up to all the mailing lists and then make time to read the emails that are sent out rather than spam them. It does take time to read them all but it is the only way you find out about things, especially free or very cheap events. It seems to be a covid hangover now that everything still needs to be booked.

There are thing you can do that aren't as expensive

DD is 2 and I we went to a Christmas fair at our local manor, it was free to get in and they had crafts and Christmas stories, we also bought some lovey Christmas decorations and had a hot chocolate, listened to some Christmas music saw Santa for a few pounds. I think in total we spent maybe £30 max - the decorations were optional I just fancied getting a few new ones.

There are bits on at the library that are free too.

We have booked a panto for Christmas Eve, it was quite expensive but we booked it in October so I feel like it's easier.

Wreath making is quite expensive, there are loads of places doing it near us all are £40, which tbf isn't going to break the bank.

Not to mention the bits you can do at home, a trip to hobby craft and you can do some crafty bits, make you're own Christmas cards, make christmas biscuits, don't undersell a Christmas film either! I got our muppets Christmas Carol the other day it was brilliant.

Oh yes and obviously the local Carol service

Some of the things you can't do but some you can. . Y local church groups puts on loads of things for christmass all free or very low cost. You don't need to be religious. There's a nativity, Carol singing wreath makings a Christmas fair etc. And they run a hamper hardship fund. There will be hings you can do that cost less. Btry not to compare yourselves to others however hard that is. And you can easily do mulled wine family nights. Hot ribena is lovely!!