Middle class families seem so much busier in the run up to Christmas

[Santasfakebeard]

The mc families in DC school seem to have something on the whole month of Dec judging by the dc's class whatsapp groups. Is it just a middle class thing? Pantos, choirs, concerts, wreath making & mulled wine family evenings, markets abroad, carol singing.
I would love my dc to experience it all but we simply don't have the funds.
Is it just the mc & umc that can afford to offer their dc those festive experiences?

Basically, yes. Wreath making, Santa Trips, Pantos etc all cost £££’s. I’m so glad my kids are older now and don’t have to do any of it!

I think mc families seem busier all year round

There are many Christmassy things you can go to that don’t cost money. If you live anywhere near a Cathedral you can hear a beautifully sung evensong and if you have access to a garden you should be able to cobble together some sort of wreath. Many towns in the UK have Christmas Markets and mulled wine can be made very cheaply!

Singing in a choir is often free - church or school.

Most schools have so many Christmas activities - carol concert, nativity, end of term Christmas party.... seemed never ending when mine were at primary.

Less so secondary.

I don't know if it's specifically a class thing, but I do feel like patting some people on the shoulder and going "It's OK love, you won't have failed at Christmas if you just calm down a bit".

But perhaps I'm just bitter that my DCs don't like pantomimes or visiting Santa any more.

Thats because they can afford to do all those things. I have booked a proper Panto this year as kids are too old really to be entertained by the Am Dram one and it was £90 for 5 of us. If we had gone to the one in our city it would have been £170!!!

We have ice-skating,panto, Christmas lights trail booked and a couple of meals out - it isn't cheap but I don't go overboard on presents I prefer experiences over stuff.

@Ritasueandbobtoo9 it seems to have exploded this year. Perhaps making up for covid times.. It seems to be the middle class families we know & my hubby's umc work colleagues family that are going hell for leather.
Hubbys colleagues extended family meet ever year at the family home in Gloucestershire & have carols & wine around the tree with actual carol books!

I disagree. I’m from Liverpool which is more working class and the run up is also very intense. People just make do with what they have, and make the most of it.

You can do it for less of course but MC families tend to have access to/prioritise a greater range of extra curricular clubs etc which comes with obligations at the time of year.

eg my DC go to panto with cubs/scouts and the cubs Christingle takes up a Saturday.

if they were in a choir that would come with commitments at this time of year etc…

Get off social media, mute or archive the WhatsApp groups.

The perennial updates from 'sharents' does not = MC or UMC. All it shows is competitiveness, a constant need for validation and toxic parenting.

Yes, you aren’t wrong.

i mean some things can be free like Christmas light switch on’s, going to see choirs perform etc are often free events and gathering at those with friends is both lovely and low/no cost.

however you aren’t wrong about Santa experiences (saw a breakfast with Santa advertised yesterday. You got a croissant and juice! £20pp!!) wreath making, pantos, and I add onto that list the other Xmas light shows and festive events at country parks etc.

i take mine to the local garden centre to look at the displays for free!

There is nearly a competitivess to it. Most go to parents home in the countryside (either the hubby's or wives) for boxing day & new years if they're not skiing. @MillionDryston I'm fascinated. I don't want to mute!
It was bad last year but this year is a totally different scale. Not all are being pinched by the cost of living crisis.

I'm mc.

My kids always had a frantic December -

We all played in a brass band
One DC and one parent were in different choirs
We all sang in the church choir which had special rehearsals for the church carol service
I ran the kids programme for my local church so we sorted a scratch nativity for the 25th and Christingle for earlier in the month

I used to collapse on the 25th and frankly am glad it's not that frantic any more.

If you want that level of frantic though for free I recommend joining a church with kids activities and either getting involved or running them!

Being "active" like this is one of the hallmarks of being middle class, IMO. Having cash helps, but I think there's more to it than that. The MC hate to be idle or to "waste" time.

I don't know how middle class people find their energy. Professional jobs, some kind of sporty hobby, a busy social life, and the DC doing all the things all the time, the extra curricular activities and the seasonal extras.

Loads of cheap/free Christmas stuff to do. Wandering round the Christmas section in local garden centre is free. A few quid if you splash out on a hot chocolate while you're there. Most community centres and churches will have free carol services. Going into the city to look at the Christmas lights and market doesn't have to cost money. Take a flask and sandwiches with you.
Christmas crafts at home can be cheap. Making angels/garlands etc loads of ideas on internet. Plays Christmas music while doing it.

My ‘boys’ are 29 and 33. We made a huge fuss over Christmas but I didn’t even put decorations up until mid December. They got an advent calendar though. Christmas revolved around family, we did usually go to the panto after Christmas and when they were little we always took them to see Santa (free at the time). What they really loved was all being together, playing games and the happiness we shared. If you asked them now I’m pretty sure they’d tell you their childhood Christmas’ were magical. We didn’t do any of the things you talk about. The spirit of Christmas doesn’t come with a particularly high price tag.

OP, most of those things don't cost much.

We have a school carol concert - free,
wreath making - free,
family evenings - free,
Christmas markets & fairs in the UK - free,
village panto - very silly and £8.

I agree with you. I'm MC and we're doing a lights walk, panto (£12.50 cheap seats mind) etc. My sis is doing wreath making! I'm not doing as much as some. The classical concerts can be crazy money.

Like someone said, the MC have to be seen to be doing stuff.

I’d have to disagree. Most of these things can be done regardless of ‘class‘.

Pantos: yes, we’re doing this. Booked it ages ago to get the really cheap seats. You have to book in the summer to not have to pay with your firstborn

Choirs: if you go to a church that has plenty of families, you can be in a choir.

concerts: there are lots of free ones round us. Often advertised through the church.

wreath making: this is free if you use string and natural material. It provides two Xmas outings/events - one walk to gather materials and one afternoon to tie it together.

mulled wine family evenings: can’t stand the stuff, but you could always play board games with hot chocolate?

markets abroad: yep, that’s pricey. I’ll give you that one. Wouldn’t bother with one anyway though as they are identikit and no one really needs the stuff they sell…

carol singing: this is free and usually happens via schools, youth groups or church

When I read these threads I wonder if I'm middle class or not. I think Ive slipped down the ladder.

I've got nothing planned at xmas, although when dc was younger I'd probably have more on, they are 9 now and not keen on doing grottos and pantos.

Each to their own, don't get sucked into comparing their fictional social media presented lives with your reality.

Valeriesknickknacks my suspicion is that it's the other way around. People achieve financial middle class hood because they are high energy people. They have always had the energy to do the extra curriculars, study hard and achieve good results, work at the same time if necessary, exercise and stay fit, get out, socialise and find a good mate, do the long- hours entry level internships in their career of choice etc etc. Of course, genetics might come into it too- high energy children of high energy parents?

I think December is just always manic even if you don’t spend a lot. I’ve tried to put a lid on it this year but it’s still crazy. Some of it is not expensive though as such- there is the school fair which you sort of have to go to, one child has a brownie event, we have pantomime and then will spend time visiting family as they don’t live locally. I like going to a carol service (free other than the collection. We haven’t even got time to see Santa this year .

It's just an observation & I'm not begrudging but the MC really come into their own in the winter! Even finding out about some of the events their going to which may be very cheap is hard. Eg one of the mums mentioned a parent & older child Christmas decoration workshop in one of the museums, it wasn't advertised on social media but when I enquired it was booked up for weeks! The mc just know about stuff!