Middle class families seem so much busier in the run up to Christmas

[Santasfakebeard]

The mc families in DC school seem to have something on the whole month of Dec judging by the dc's class whatsapp groups. Is it just a middle class thing? Pantos, choirs, concerts, wreath making & mulled wine family evenings, markets abroad, carol singing.
I would love my dc to experience it all but we simply don't have the funds.
Is it just the mc & umc that can afford to offer their dc those festive experiences?

Hubbys colleagues extended family meet ever year at the family home in Gloucestershire & have carols & wine around the tree with actual carol books!

A bit cringe. Maybe even a lot cringe. Mind you, it would be worth going just to see my DH standing there, desperately willing the ground to swallow him whole.

I splash out on panto between Christmas and new year when I can afford it even though mine are teens now as it's always a good show. Previously have done the christingle at church. When they were younger might have sought out a Santa. I don't think that's bonkers really. Just a bit of festive fun! Haven't made a wreath as yet...

How busy you are in the run up to Christmas is more of a mentality thing. Some people don’t bother making an effort or getting their children involved or are just not invited to anything - not much to do with class.

My family are busy and it’s a mix of work Christmas parties, friends wanting to meet up, Christmas dinners - with my DC and family we always go to a panto (there are a few cheap local ones depending on where you live), carols which are normally free but different people invite us, Christmas dinners with friends and a little shopping for presents as an excuse to see Christmas lights and decor. Plus the odd local “watch the Christmas tree lights turn on” etc.

I used to do lots of ‘community’ stuff and found that over Christmas there were sooooo many free festive things people could get involved in - workshops, discos, Santas grottos - but I noticed that middle class families would be more likely to attend or make the most of it as opposed to the families that maybe couldn’t afford the extra spend whom some of these “free festive activities” were funded for. I think this is mainly due to middle class families maybe being the ones most likely to set up these events and of course - whoever turns up is probably highly linked to your network.

My family are mc and have never done this. I'm not a fan of FOMO and over-scheduling. For us, the run-up to Christmas means counting down to the end of term (I'm a teacher), doing school Christmassy stuff, then settling in at home or travelling to stay with PIL, my parents or Dsis for a lovely family Christmas. We've occasionally gone to the village panto and we often go to a local Christmas fete where dh plays with his brass band, but that's it. No big paid-for events.

Valeriesknickknacks my suspicion is that it's the other way around. People achieve financial middle class hood because they are high energy people.

Nah. Most people are middle class because they were born middle class. I'm not a high energy person at all. I just had a good, comfortable upbringing, parents who supported my education, and a good brain (because I have intelligent parents). I didn't need high energy - hence the lack of desire to over-schedule! .

in my opinion long term poorly paid or no pay internships exclude those without the parental financial backing to support the kid during said long term so not sure they're an indicator of anything other than a degree of existing privilege...

I think people who have higher incomes are more likely to participate in cultural activities like this. Probably put more value on them as they had a similar upbringing. There are things linked with Christmas that I do every year because that’s what I did when I was small. And having the money of course.

Does everyone not go to the panto though? I feel like the panto attracts everyone.

Many of those things will be part of year-round activities that the children/families do - Cubs/Brownies, Church, playing instruments, drama, dance, sports clubs. Some of these things are expensive, some are not.

You can have a lovely time full of outings at Christmas quite cheaply if that’s what you want to do. As others have said, I’d rather do lots of these things than spend a fortune on presents. We have a couple of outings a week at least booked now until Christmas, mostly involving the kids’ musical groups as that’s our thing. However, I will only spend approx. £60 each on their main presents and then get clothes and books (which they would have anyway) and stocking bits. I know lots of people buying £300 consoles etc for their DCs. We would rather have a family trip out.

Do you have National Trust membership? If so, then that’s a cheap day/evening out. Drive around local towns and villages looking at the lights. Go to a parade or late night shopping. No need to buy much - hot dog and a drink and let them spend some pocket money. Churches and cathedrals will have multiple free events which will make you feel festive.

what i think makes it hard is the absolutely ridiculous number of places now offering a Christmas experience. it's rammed down your throat everywhere. we have tried to limit experiences because frankly seeing Santa 5 times is daft and confusing but you can't move for another restaurant, pub, riding school, theatre, hotel, hall, garden centre, shopping centre, town centre, NT property, stately home, zoo, farm, theme park, school, church, holiday resort etc advertising their xmas special. you could do something different every day in December and still have "missed out" - doing 5 or 6 things is too much but feels like not a lot when there are hundreds of things to do before you even get onto the specialist events - lluk, polar express, flight before xmas, reindeer lodge. bah humbug.

They may have been a fiver on vinted

I honestly agree with the markets abroad thing. I went last year to a German Christmas market, and had really hyped it up in my head. But I was disappointed. We have York Xmas market on our doorstep, and the German one was no better than that one. Absolute waste of time and money.

I'd say we're very middle class (though not particularly high earners), but DC goes to a school that draws pupils from the wealthiest part of our town and my jaw is constantly on the floor about the other families. We had an inset day and out of the appr. 40 families on the class (Reception !!!) WhatsApp group, two were taking the kids to Lapland UK for the day and then another chimed in to say they'd been the previous two years but weren't going this year. Meanwhile, I'm wondering if I can justify going to softplay again. I don't know what people are doing for Christmas, but the PTA is putting on a wreath making evening @ £25 a head. We're having Christmas in our (tiny) flat, will see if there is a free crib or carol service in a local church and maybe going to London to see family, but that's it. DC are too young/ volatile/ bad travellers to spend any money on big ticket things....

Good point! In which case simply an odd fashion choice!

Because they will have cleaners; nannies; can afford to take clothes to the dry cleaners; eat out more often so less time spent cooking or washing up afterwards; some of the more wealthier connect ones will even have sinecure type jobs or their own businesses that they pay others to run for them...

There’s cheaper or even free stuff to do. Some carol concerts will be free (may need to book at big cathedrals).

National trust (free if already a member) do some Xmas themed trails and stuff.

Do some crafts at home, it doesn’t have to be fancy. I loved making paper chains and paper snowflakes as a kid.

I had an incredibly strong déjà vu reading the OP. This thread from last year is not quite as identical as I remember but pretty close! https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/4693981-what-does-a-middle-class-christmas-look-like

I think mc people are often busier and socialize more all year round.

Yes, it's a money thing. I also think having nice large homes make socialising easier. It's much more pleasant to invite people round when you have a large kitchen diner extension with an island and guest bedrooms with an ensuite. Also I think mc people often have more groups of friends...so old school friends, then uni friends then people they met through work etc.

Wreath making? Wtf. Volunteering is free and closest to the "true" meaning of Christmas.

I've definitely noticed it's a thing round here that all the better off families are booked up in the run up to Christmas. It wasn't a thing when I was growing up, but we weren't middle class.

We do a few things, local Christmas fairs, a lights trail, we are going to bath for a day to skate and see the market, and after Christmas we are going to a panto which I booked in January. And today we went to a cheap children's craft event run by a local WI. But that's a lot for us!

I prefer relaxed weekends, we do our busy stuff in the week because we home educate, that way we avoid the crowds.

I think the MC things are either free or low cost though. But aided by large houses/parents in the countryside.

Choir at the local church and christingle service - free.
Carols around the tree at the local estate - free
Making pomanders at home and painting decorations - virtually free
Woodland walks - free
Boxing Day walk along the beach - free
Christmas Eve parties/games nights - free
We have a lake at grandparent's house where we can BBQ on Boxing Day and fish, which is an example of the setting aiding the activity.
Taking cuttings from the garden for centre displays on the table - free

Then everyone tends to do a visit to Father Christmas, and a walk to some Christmas lights/lights switch on.

The more expensive stuff, light trails, Christmas Eve boxes stuffed with presents, elaborate advents, kids Christmas parties/discos at clubs/soft plays, crafting events, breakfast with Father Christmas - are the things that I think are £££, and not "MC" at all.

Panto, sort of on the fence. Local village ones tend to be hilarious because you know the participants, and are £10 a ticket. Panto in our nearest city, good seats are £37.50 a ticket. And panto is for everyone.... Oh yes it is.

So I think the perceived MC activities are far less expensive than the outrageously expensive Father Christmas breakfasts and light trails that I don't associate with MC at all.

I’d have to disagree. Most of these things can be done regardless of ‘class‘.

I don't think the OP was saying that these things can't be done by anyone but the mc, just that more mc people choose to do them.

I only ever went to the panto with my primary school twice as a child.
Didn't think to do it with mine but then a mate's DC was cast in the local one and we went along. Weirdly I found the receipt for the tickets this pm when looking for something else in my inbox. Cost over £70 for 4 of us nearly 10 years ago - just looked it's £80 now but we have 4 kids so it would be £120 before booking fees.

We just can't afford it
.

For us:

Christmas panto
Light trail at Wakehurst (very MC)
The children’s carol concerts
A classical candlelit concert (the adults will go to this.)
Pub evening with friends for pre-Christmas drinks by the fire and possibly a Christmas quiz
Christingle services at the church (the kids love these)

And of course, midnight mass followed by a frosty walk back down the hill and back home where we’ll have a nightcap

Then a lovely countryside walk on New Year’s day

And it’s all frightfully Middle Class and we also listen to Classic FM and definitely NOT common radio stations like Radio 1

I’d never have thought of that as a MC thing at all! Rather the reverse.

I read a thread the other day about a poster who's kid has a December birthday & quite a few posters were saying it's to late to send out invites now as ALL their weekends are booked for December & many of them have had these things booked since August. WTF!!! I just can't relate. I have something arranged for Christmas eve & at some point I'll meet friends for drinks but that's it. We haven't even decided what we are doing for Christmas day, who's hosting, what we want to eat etc.

Personally it's the other way around here.... the mc families are "rich and posh" for a reason!