Middle class families seem so much busier in the run up to Christmas

[Santasfakebeard]

The mc families in DC school seem to have something on the whole month of Dec judging by the dc's class whatsapp groups. Is it just a middle class thing? Pantos, choirs, concerts, wreath making & mulled wine family evenings, markets abroad, carol singing.
I would love my dc to experience it all but we simply don't have the funds.
Is it just the mc & umc that can afford to offer their dc those festive experiences?

I don't know if it's because we live in what would be classed as a deprived area but we've already managed to do two really good quality events for free (light/winter festivals).
I'm astonished at what some places charge for wreath making but we've usually found somewhere to make one that's either free or for a donation. As the stuff for it is usually foraged there's no need for it to cost.
If we keep our eyes open there's all sorts for free or not very much money. Our local RSPB place for example usually had free crafts - we made willow stars one year and felted Christmas decorations and the was a father Christmas giving out bird food for the garden.

Yes, definitely. We are well off and Christmas plans so far are: Nutcracker ballet (£400 for my
mum to take me and DC, but our town does have a world renowned company and mum did choose expensive seats), tree farm to cut down tree (£100), Danish christmas party (family heritage, through local society, £100), carol concert (£40), cookie baking afternoon and pizza with extended family (mum hosting but imagine pizza and supplies will be £200+). Add in skiing once a weekend if it ever snows plus some birthday parties and December is rammed and a lot of money spent.

Local churches may have a Carol service and or a crib service (like a nativity dress up thing). The panto in our city has some cheap tickets for every performance. My friend, her sons and myself used to do this. Other friends have family traditions like making the pudding together and so on.

Never gone in for all that Lapland/Christmas Market abroad stuff. The former feels false and over extending the myth. I would quite like to do Christmas lights at one of the local NT properties but that’s not really a kids thing especially

Kids just like the time off and being with the family. It’s the parents that need to be seen doing things. Making memories. You can make memories without making a show of it.

makes everyone who isn’t wocial
media minded or ousses money away feel awful.

it’s must also feel like a lot of pressure for the MC kids to be appreciative and grateful all the time.

add in the major cost of living crisis. It’s just rubbing salt in the wound. Do your Xmas things but you don’t have to oublically document it for all to see.

Agree @AllProperTeaIsTheft it all sounds lovely. I just go to work and come home. Rinse and repeat. No ice skating. No Christmas Market in frankfurt. No wreath making!

I am not sure if it is related to class but I am busy now until after Christmas with weekends and free time.

If you want to get that Christmassy experience for little money, here’s what I would do:

• there’s a great video on you tube (done a few years ago by the gardener at Woolley Grange, a beautiful country house hotel) about how to make your own wreath from scratch - no cost and really lovely
• invite a couple of families round for a Christmassy sing-song with mulled wine and gingerbread. Ideally invite someone with a keyboard or guitar. Cost - some cheap red wine, spices, flour, sugar.
• take your family for a winter walk in countryside near you. Invite another family if you want it to be more of an event. Stop at a cafe for hot chocolates to make the children love it. Cost - a hot chocolate each.
• go to a pre-Christmas carol service or Christingle or midnight mass at your local church for some carol singing. No cost (although if you can afford it I’m sure they’d appreciate a small donation).
• organise your own carol singing group to go round local streets and raise money for charity
• hand make Christmas cards with the kids and hand deliver them round the neighbourhood

I have done all these things and they are key Christmas memories for me. I’ve also done pantos and ice skating but, hey, you don’t have to do everything every year. (If there’s any snow you can sledge though!) And remember, the cumulative effect of seeing what lots of people are doing will make it seem like everyone’s busier than they actually are.

We always did this (Noughties mostly, but part of the 2010s,) and we are working class. Albeit 'upper' working class. (Mortgage free, nice area, kids went to good schools, and to goods universities, and we are both in middle management/professional jobs.)

We still do some of all the Christmassy stuff actually ... Have a little 'do' for the neighbours in the cul de sac, go to a panto, go to a ballet, go to a Christmas market - sometimes abroad, sometimes in the UK, Carol Service, Christingle, Church Christmas market, and we have a MASSIVE display of Christmas lights around our garden. (Large, corner plot.)

I just have a visit to see Santa booked in for my kids. Whether I’m middle class not sure - probably am by background but not by income.

How do you know who's middle class? I didn't think people gave a toss about that anymore.

@Jk987 Are you new to Mumsnet?! 😆

All of this

You think paying more gives you a "better' panto than amdram??' Oh no it doesn't!!

That sound so lovely

Also agree these things don't need to be expensive.

We are actually cutting back this year. We overscheduled the Christmas holidays last year. We're doing one trip to see Santa and also going to a local panto. I haven't got anything else booked, though we'll probably also do carols and softplay. We'll do some nice walks, watch some Christmas movies, go shopping for a new tree decoration each, get up late and eat pastries and have some playdates at home. Also do some Christmas baking and crafts. I'm looking forward to not having to spend the whole holiday hustling everyone out of the house and to various places.

Been there and always wondered how people could afford it all, and we had decent jobs. However our daughters favourite Christmas traditions were not the meals out and farm experiences etc but the day we used to get the cut out elf shapes and decorate them individually, then string them up. Some Christmas cookie baking and a cheap ginger bread house creation, hot chocolate etc. we usually booked a panto and a Christmas art class. Paid for the panto in the summer months and didn’t go to the expensive ones.

I think if you've ever booked tickets to a museum event you'll be on their mailing list

I just asked a local WhatsApp group about Xmas things and got told all of the museum things to do!

This is a pretty nasty post. My kids adore all the Xmas things we do, I’m not forcing thanks out of them all the time in return. We have a brilliant month and all love it.
Just because people do things differently doesn’t remake them shallow or fake

Honestly I think quite a lot of the frantic MC stuff is related to parental guilt over the year re lack of time. I don't recall this kind of nuttiness in my own childhood, which was dully middle class. However I do remember my mother doing it all, from the wreath making, to cake baking, panto etc. Schools are also more frantic in terms of activities for Christmas.

The really blunt truth is that mostly children don't remember it, but like fish forks, it's a performance middle class idea.

Make not remake

We have a very busy build up in Advent and lots of activities during the christmas period too. Not all cost money. Some are christmas markets, santa events, we usually take part in a lantern parade, which again is free and involves making the lanterns we will carry in the weeks before the parade. Both children are in pantomimes this year too so have rehearsals at different times. But like pp, we do not go overboard with presents at Christmas. We also stay christmassy until the 6th jan, when they receive a small Stocking. Family meals, family games nights, country walks etc. Again, all free.

there are many activities everywhere that are free. Our town cathedral has many different events on. It isnt about cost, it is about knowing what is going on. And also being arsed to do it.

Most private schools put on a nice theatre play at Christmas with tickets costing quite a bit less than panto. We saw a beautiful production of Peter Pan at The Leys in Cambridge a few years ago. You could also:
Go for a walk in the woods then come home to make a hot chocolate and play a family board game
Attend a Christingle at your local church or the crib service on Christmas Eve
Decorate a Christmas tree in the woods with goodies for the wild animals - carrots, apples, cabbage, turnips, etc.
Ask people on Facebook for free holly / pine and make a wreath at home using YouTube
Bake Christmas cookies

Going away skiing is out of price for many MC families too!

I consider myself middle class. I try to save for a few things I want to pay for and then find free activities. We're doing (paid): light trail at local attraction, ice skating, Santa visit. The first two things are quite expensive, the second thing is not. And free things: local Christmas truck parade, Christmas church party, town lights on party, carol service in the local church, Christmas tree display in the other local church, Christmas markets a twenty min train ride away. We'll stay with family for Christmas and boxing day, in a normal village not countryside.

The advantage of lock down is that my kids seem to now associate Christmas run up with mostly things we can do at home!

We do a Christmas jigsaw, make Hama bead decorations, usually some kind of diamond art decorations (that are under a fiver on Amazon), make poor quality Christmas biscuits with the Christmas cutters I bought years ago for a pound. Thankfully mine will eat anything vaguely sugary so don’t seem to notice I can’t bake!

We do one Christmas activity but this year I am getting them membership to a wildlife place (there are different sites included) for Christmas. I am cheating by using it for the Christmas trip next week and it will last until next year so cover a Christmas trip then too. They won’t know when the calendar year starts and you can spread the cost monthly so it’s not a major expense at once and will make our summer holidays cheaper too.