Embarassed myself at the work Christmas party

[Jbrum]

Right so. For the most part when leadership were there I was fine. Didn’t say or do anything stupid.

towards the middle of the evening I went for a cigarette and the door knocked me a bit and one guy went “ooo steady on” but it was just that the door knocked me. And yes I was tipsy but not totally messed up.

later in the night I think I walked over and said that was rude making out like I’m some p*sshead. I also touched his arm for no reason while I said this. I then had no recollection of the rest of the conversation at all because he brought me a shot.

But by the end. My close colleague and I had a couple more and by the end it was both of us and a few others. As my close colleague and I were heading home I fell over and then because of the motion in the taxi I took home with her I had to step out and throw up.

My colleague and I are at the same level and have gone on nights out together and got like this before. But I just still feel ashamed of myself.

I’m so embarrassed and I’m supposed to be applying for a leadership role. What do I do?

They won’t think badly of you - if it was someone else what would you say? “Wow, so and so had a good time last night, she was so pissed “
Then next week it will all be forgotten, end of story. It’s fine and a lot of us of us have done a lot worse.

Yeah some comments are starting to scare me. I’m really scared they’ll re think offering me the role. They designed the role for me to apply to when I went for something more senior and didn’t get it. But all I can think of now is that I’m scared to turn up on Monday

I wouldn't bat an eyelid if I saw a colleague do any of these things.

Tbh the thread here makes me feel like I should be concerned

OP, ignore the vicious posters trying to make you feel worse. MN is full of mean posters right now. What they get out of making you feel so bad when you can’t change it, who knows.

Once you’ve faced Monday morning seeing everyone you’ll feel so much better. “Blimey I got really pissed on Friday, never again”. - if anything needs to be said at all. And don’t do it again (at a works do)

Hide it then?

Don't get scared, just sort out your social alcohol dependence that's all. No drinking alcohol while at work functions and then you won't have a problem. You know you can't control your behaviour under the influence so just don't lose control by eliminating the alcohol.

https://www.drinkaware.co.uk/facts/health-effects-of-alcohol/mental-health/alcohol-dependence

I’m just more worried about what I said to my male colleague and also how stupid I feel applying to a new role!

I really wouldn't fail to show up on Monday, that would be an error in my view.

You cannot undo what is done, so try to focus on moving forward with a professional air, and let the chips fall where they may.

Where I work now, getting pissed like this wouldn't be a huge deal at all, but in previous workplaces, it would have been career limiting. None of us really knows how it will affect you, so shoulders back, tits out, and soldier on.

By Monday everyone will have had shopping etc, prepping for Christmas and Friday won't be at the forefront of their mind.

Just say sorry to your taxi colleague about being a bit pissed and that you shouldn't have had those shots. It's not like you kicked off, was abusive or sick in front of everyone.

Then go about your work.

This time next week it'll be forgotten. Don't stress OP. Many of us have been there.

, thank you I’ve spend all day thinking. What did I say to my male colleague and how stupid I am for being sick on the way home

That rather depends on the organisation. I’ve worked in places where at the Christmas party it was management buying the drinks! Of course it was fine to say you’d had enough (or like I always said, I just don’t do shots, ever) but drinking together was seen as bonding and no one would have looked down on anyone who got a bit worse for wear. (Vomit on tables, harassment or violence would not be acceptable obviously!)

It was well known to be a one off night, to let your hair down after working so hard - not an expected drinking pattern with clients at lunchtime!

These things happen. My boss once got so drunk at the work’s dinner that he just sat slumped at the table with his face literally resting in his dinner. 😁

I promise that this feeling will go away, like other people said it’s worse because of the hangover but in the not too distant future you won’t feel anything at all and it’s such a relief when you’re like oh yeah that was nothing.
Most of us have been in this position and your night really sounds tame compared to some of the things a lot of us have seen.
To counter some of the sour faced advice and judgement from the angels who have more control than the rest of us I’ll tell you this… Often leadership leave because they want the rest of the team to let their hair down AND because they don’t want to be in the position of people feeling like they made an arse of themselves in front of them in n Monday.
I have looked after one of my reports on a night out while he puked outside, convinced the bouncer to let us back in and still rehired him once I moved onto another company because he was good at his job and it was a one off.
So don’t worry about your job but don’t make a habit of it because that hanxiety hits strong every time.
100% agree with everyone saying just style it out, do not mention it on Monday and relax knowing that half of the rest of them feel just like you right now:

OP every year there are posts like yourselves. I have not read one where their poster has come back and said anything terrible has happened like warnings etc. Generally, as most people have said here, there may be some joking on Monday, but that’s it.

A good friend, 15 years ago, was a pupil barrister (a year training in Chambers). Hes not a big drinker but got really drunk at the Chambers Christmas party. He threw up had to be put in a taxi home, generally made an idiot of himself. He was mortified and really worried because at the end of pupillage you hope to be offered tenancy (become a member of chambers). It was all fine. He did get teased a lot. He apparently is still used as the cautionary tale to pupils not to drink too much at the party; however, he was taken on and has just been made a judge.

OP, a lot of people have been there. Monday morning will be the worse and then people forget.

He’s blunt with me I’m blunt with him. He bickers with me sometimes too.
That's more embarrassing than getting a bit pissed at the Christmas drinks. I'd be more concerned about promoting someone who regularly bickered like a child with a colleague than someone who let their hair down at a specific event.

Also you may not have noticed but the reply function doesn't work. You need to use the quote one instead or copy and paste a bit of what you are replying to for your responses to make sense.

This seems pretty mean - is this what you think people should do to drunk friends/colleagues - keep giving them more to drink when their judgement is clearly impaired, just so they learn to “recognise their limits”? Ouch. If the colleague thought she was drunk earlier in the night (with the door) then he wasn’t being particularly considerate in giving her shots later on either.

Don't worry! You won't have been the only one worse for wear and I am sure you won't be the only one worrying. Best thing to do is laugh it off.

One year our office went out and it was the first week of this new lady who was HR. A couple of hours into the event, she was completely gone. Nothing inappropriate but just majorly pissed and because none of us knew her it was slightly awkward. At one point the boss was worried about her getting home and then was upset because she thought that this lady might be too embarrassed to come in the next day. We got her home and was completely exhausted from looking after her all night.

Next day comes and she walks in completely fine and saying how much fun her night was and she felt so happy working here. Laughed at all the stories and became an amazing member of our team.

Brazen it out OP!

I think it depends on what industry you work in. It’s pretty normal for Xmas parties in my industry to be a big chance to celebrate and let your hair down after working hard. What happens at the work Xmas party stays at the work Xmas party. They are absolutely no reflection of how staff behave in front of clients in any way shape or form.

I mean more like bickering in a flirty way than a childish way.

I would be slightly concerned about the conversations with your male colleague, and badgering your other colleague to get his phone number etc.

But only because years ago someone I work with got hauled over the coals for sexual harassment, and it was someone else who witnessed and reported it.

It didn't go anywhere but it was very embarrassing for all concerned.

You really didn’t do anything to be embarrassed about. You’ll get the odd snarky comment here because this is mumsnet and people love being superior, but honestly, this is fine. It’s just the alcohol giving you anxiety.

She took in in jest of “it’s just a crush” and that I was drunk. Not anymore than that.

I’m honestly so anxious to return to work