Embarassed myself at the work Christmas party

[Jbrum]

Right so. For the most part when leadership were there I was fine. Didn’t say or do anything stupid.

towards the middle of the evening I went for a cigarette and the door knocked me a bit and one guy went “ooo steady on” but it was just that the door knocked me. And yes I was tipsy but not totally messed up.

later in the night I think I walked over and said that was rude making out like I’m some p*sshead. I also touched his arm for no reason while I said this. I then had no recollection of the rest of the conversation at all because he brought me a shot.

But by the end. My close colleague and I had a couple more and by the end it was both of us and a few others. As my close colleague and I were heading home I fell over and then because of the motion in the taxi I took home with her I had to step out and throw up.

My colleague and I are at the same level and have gone on nights out together and got like this before. But I just still feel ashamed of myself.

I’m so embarrassed and I’m supposed to be applying for a leadership role. What do I do?

Well for someone who doesn't, there's an awful lot of 'haha' and laughing emojis 🤷‍♂️

It's booze anxiety. It sounds fine.

@Jbrum In my youth I got so drunk on a work night out I nearly had sex with my coworker (who had a girlfriend) in a national park

Thank goodness some small part of my brain behaved rationally because I remember forcing him to walk me home, before running inside alone and proceeding to be very ill.

I still remember how wide his eyes went when I walked into the kitchen the next day and he was making a coffee.

It sounds like the damage was minimal, give your collegue a phone call so she can make you feel better. Remember this feeling and use it to prevent such things next time

Haha wow. Yeah i mean I wasn’t that bad. It’s just i was hoping for a promotion and I’m now tainted with this.

Mumsnet is so sanctimonious about drinking.

You're fine OP. Have a bath, some food, and hair of the dog.

Well, yes you are, but there is fuck all you can do about it now.

Just promise yourself you won't drink on work nights out again and chalk it up as a life lesson. Don't mention it back at work and try to style it out with your head high.

It’s frightening me tbh. I applied for a higher role and when people say leadership frown on it. I’m totally worried about what will happen and if I’d even get it.

There are some right holier than thou, judgemental fun sponges on here Op that think a thimble full of sherry at Christmas is debauched. Pay them no heed. You’re fine.

Nobody here can tell you if that is likely to happen or not. Just move forward in as professional a way as you can.

If it turns out you have ruined your chances, you will just have to progress with a different employer.

Honestly you aren't going to feel any better worrying about what is done. Maybe go for a long afternoon nap and you might feel better.

@VyeBrator

when has she said she thinks it’s hilarious?

OP try not to worry, it’s just not that bad. You’re hungover and have the ‘horrors’. Get some carbs in you and plenty of water.

then just front it out, be in early on Monday (if you work in an office). Nothing worse than walking in and everyone goes ‘oooohhh ‘ere she is’ which they’d do to whoever was last one in the door.
if you’re in early, as everyone else comes In, just laugh and if there are any comments, just keep a smile on your face and say “I know, I blame you lot for the shots you were all buying. Terrible influences the lot of you, clearly i can’t keep up anymore’ 😊🤪🫣😂

management teams aren’t robots, they’ve been there in the past. Don’t bring it up to them, it has no bearing on your ability to do the job

I used to always get drunk on the free booze at work parties and make a tit of myself in my 20s, this was the norm in that industry at the time but I could have died with embarrassment and made some seriously questionable choices. Now at 38 I have a very firm no drinking at work party rule and always drive to avoid temptation so that I don't have to deal with it anymore. I have a friend the same age as me who still goes on lots of work nights throughout the year as part of her role and always message's me the next day saying she has made a fool of herself/slept with someone she shouldn't have/was doing coke with colleagues. I try not to judge her but it's hard having to hold my tongue when she starts complaining of how embarrassed she is when nobody if forcing her to bloody act that way. She works in HR as well which I find even more mental.

One year I ran into my PT when we were both out, me on Xmas do, him just out with mates. Having got increasingly pissed, we went out for 'fresh air' had sex in the back of his car and came back in, me with my patterned tights inside out and him with foundation on his jeans. My colleagues knew. They absolutely knew and took the piss about it for months. I still got promoted a year later when a position came up.

Read back.

The OP is attention seeking claiming to be so upset and anxious etc, yet her thread is full of laughing emojis and 'hahaha'.

Why not just own the fact she got pissed again?

I went out to xmas do years ago. I was one of bosses
gave one of my own team members a lift home as she lived quite close, and seems churlish not to.
A lovely mature, well mannered Indian lady who loved dancing and parties and had been dancing all night. Also one of my better workers .
didnt know she’d also been quietly knocking back booze at the bar between dances
got part way home. She started talking more and more gibberish. Then told me she felt very woozy.
i realised in nick of time that she was pissed
pulled to a stop, reached over to open car door for her, and she puked up - luckily in gutter and outside of my car.

i had to drive her home smelling of sick. Car smelled 🤢 and needed full clean.

but she didn’t remember , or at least she pretended well to not remember. Said something on the Monday about “sorry I didn’t say thanks for the lift, I was a bit tired “ 🤷🏼‍♀️🤣 yeah..really?

I didn’t hold it against her in her performance review 🥴. Was the elephant in the room we never discussed .🙄
But, I Never offered any lifts from work parties, to anyone, ever since.

You’ve got the fear. You’ll be fine.

You got angry at a colleague for implying you were a pisshead then threw a shot down your neck when it was waved in front of you? Maybe he has a point? You certainly can’t say no when you need to which isn’t a good look.

Anyway, whether the senior management will look down on it depends on the culture of your organisation (in some the senior managers are the worst for being boozy nobs) and your general work demeanour and attitude. Keep your head down and your work good for a while, no more nights out with them either if you
can’t recognise your limits.

Do nothing. Go back in Monday, professional face stapled on. If anybody mentions it shut them down quickly, "I had a few to be sociable, backbst work now".

Nothing you can do except pretend it didn't happen and don't get drunk again at a works do.

Well now you know that for next year's Christmas party, you're sticking to straight Coke's only. It's a work do so people that you have to work with regularly will be there so just be mindful of this. You're not out with your mates, you're out with colleagues so it's very different.

At my old work place, anyone who behaved like a pisshead at the Christmas do was never promoted. The seniors always watched and were informed about unsavoury behaviour & drunken shenanigans. If you want to go for a promotion, you need to display a professional image going forward.

It doesn't have to be a "thimbleful of sherry" or so pissed that you can't remember what you said to a colleague that you fancy (because you had to drink the shot he gave you!) and then having to ask the taxi to stop so that you can throw up!

You just have to go in on Monday and own it. Hands up, drank too much, paid the price all weekend. Won’t be doing that in a hurry again.
Now, back to business.

FFS it's clear the OP is worried, is there really any need to stick the knife in and try to make her feel any more worried? I don't know what you get out of that, does it make you feel good.

OP you got pissed, made a bit of a tit of yourself like lots of other people will have done. Don't be too hard on yourself.

@VyeBrator

she is owning it. She’s admitting she got pissed. It’s not some terrible crime she’s committed.

Beer fear!
When you wake up the next day mortified that you've made a dick of yourself.
When you see your colleague next sat something along the lines of.
"Eek had a few too many Friday night (tinkly laugh), don't know what I was thinking, those shots finished me off (eye roll) sorry for puking, the olives must have been off (big cheesy grin), never again"
Remember, it'll just be a funny story eventually, the time you were out with colleagues, made a dick of yourself and suffered with beer fear the next day!
Give yourself a break ❤️