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Original poster

Being stopped because DS is in a pram

358 replies

cocoapple · 20/11/2023 09:30

DS is 2 (3 at the end of February) We are currently going through some assessments as he’s very delayed, I’ve been told it’s more than likely asd. He’s still in a pram as walking anywhere with him is a nightmare. He has no sense of danger, he’ll just run off and because he has limited understanding I can’t explain to him why what he does is dangerous and he wouldn’t come back to me if I called his name. I have tried reins, but he just throws himself on the floor or tries to walk in another direction.

I was walking back from doing the school run and a woman was walking a little bit behind me. She said “excuse me, he looks a little old to be in a pram” I told her that there were reasons why he was in one and walked off.

I got home and got a bit upset. It hurts to see other children his age and even younger walking next to their parents, I’d love for him to be able to do that but at the moment it’s not possible. In parks where it’s secure is ok but anything other than that is just too dangerous and difficult.

I just can’t believe someone would even say that. It wasn’t like a friendly chat or anything like that, she literally just said what she said, not even a smile.

OP posts:
soggydigestives · 20/11/2023 12:57

No totally normal. She was rude. I used to see a reception child who would be pushed to school in a buggy, that was strange but not a 2 year old!

MummyJ36 · 20/11/2023 12:58

Firstly that was incredibly rude of a total stranger.

Secondly, two is not too old for a pram!! My DD enjoyed a pushchair ride until she started school and she is more than capable of walking herself!

Nounderwireplease · 20/11/2023 12:59

Sorry this happened OP. Extremely rude and obviously not a bright woman. Some people might think ‘I wonder why that child is in a buggy’ but it takes a special kind of thick to say it.

For what it’s worth both of mine were in buggies far past 2. Use the buggy for a s long as you need / want.

Its hard enough to be a parent these days and since covid I do think there has been an increase in judgment of parents and lack of tolerance for children in public spaces.

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bryceQ · 20/11/2023 13:01

My son is almost five he is autistic and we have a special needs pram. People have told me things like this over the years and I always challenge them and they end up very apologetic. It is really rude. I can't imagine commenting on someone's parenting. We still get loads of looks but I block them out. I'm sorry to say but you need to develop a thick skin as this happens loads ☹️

SinnerBoy · 20/11/2023 13:02

What a rude, arrogant person she was. I should think that 99% of parents used pushchairs past the age the kids could walk. I used to take ours out with my daughter till she was about 4, if we were going any distance, or out all day.

They get tired and it's easier to stick them in the buggy when they've had enough.

You're normal, she's weird.

Stillwaitingfor · 20/11/2023 13:04

Ignore, smile and be grateful you're not as ignorant as she clearly is

PetalsAndFlowers · 20/11/2023 13:06

How rude! 😱 I agree with one of the other commenter’s - I would have told her that SHE looks a little too old to have no manners!
For a start, still being in a pushchair at 2 is totally normal! DD1 was in hers until age 3 as I don’t drive and everything was an hour’s walk away so she’d walk some of it then get in the pushchair when she was tired. You shouldn’t have to explain to her (or anyone!) that he has ASD as it’s nobody else’s bloody business! Don’t let her get to you OP. I’ve seen much older children in pushchairs and I’ve never once judged because it’s not m business and because I don’t know their personal circumstances. People can be so rude at times. Sending hugs 🩷

ZzzzCravingMum · 20/11/2023 13:07

I wouldn't even let it worry you you do what's best for you and your child and in my head there doesn't even need to be a reason for it! We still used the pushchair on odd occasions up to 4, mainly as i didn't want to ruin a day out with a crying tired child, or if i needed to get things at certain time as i could walk at my own pace without the constant need to look at every stick or feather . I'm only 5 ft 2 so I cannot physically carry her for any distance when she was tired. Plus it was handy to put the stuff in.
Thankfully now she's a good walker and we don't need stuff when we go anywhere so it's been retired. But i just see it as an aid to help me enjoy our day or get to be where we needed and I was never once ashamed of it, I'm sorry you were made to feel this way!

ChateauMargaux · 20/11/2023 13:08

My response on your behalf would have been 'fuck off'.

Never would have said it at the time or in person.. but I do remember saying to a woman who was intent on telling me how to parent my daughter.. 'what makes you think it is Ok to give advice to a stranger..'.. didn't shut her up mind you... but I am still glad I said it...

Rachandtwo · 20/11/2023 13:09

My just turned 4 year old jumps at the chance to get in the pram if younger brother isn’t in there. Ignore her how rude!

MeinKraft · 20/11/2023 13:10

Then if your two year old does what they tend to do and goes on a mad dash across the car park or similar you'll get tutted at and told to restrain them 🙄

kitsuneghost · 20/11/2023 13:12

Ignore. she is a twat
But if it's the running off that worries you and you would like him to be walking more - have you tried reins?

Sceptre86 · 20/11/2023 13:12

I've had similar. Ds was 2 when his sister started preschool, but tall for his age. dd1 was 3. Another mum remarked that he was too big to be in a pushchair. I barked at her that he was 2, I had a 30 minute walk ( for me would have been a lot longer had the kids been walking) ahead of me and would rather have him safely strapped in a pram and so he could sleep as collection was right over his naptime. Dd1 went on the buggy board. She looked taken aback but then I might have muttered rude cow as well.

Ignore, she was rude.

SinnerBoy · 20/11/2023 13:12

MeinKraft · Today 13:10

Then if your two year old does what they tend to do and goes on a mad dash across the car park or similar you'll get tutted at and told to restrain them

Yes, almost certainly!

soggytodger · 20/11/2023 13:15

You should have replied 'you look a bit too ugly to be out of your house' ! Rude cow!

Original poster
cocoapple · 20/11/2023 13:18

Sorry to hear some of you have had similar experiences. People really are idiots at times

@kitsuneghost Yeah I’ve tried reins but he either refuses to walk and throws himself on the ground or will try and run/walk in the other direction😣I tried to take him on the school run with his reins not long ago and it was a disaster. He threw himself on the floor then every time I picked him up he did it again. In the end I just had to carry him. That resulted in getting my hair pulled out and a neck full of scratches😳

OP posts:
HAF1119 · 20/11/2023 13:28

Carry on as you are and do not think on it. Even if you get further comments don't think about it, they should mind their own business.

I got the first comment - 'oh youre old enough to walk now surely hahaha' to my son when he was 2.5 by another mum when we were getting our children from childcare.

And a further 2 comments from strangers over the next 1 year I continued to use it.

I never gave them the reason we used it, it's not their business, I generally gave them a death stare and didn't reply, but that's because I don't want to talk about my child in front of him, my view is they shouldn't even think about what choices a parent has made with a safe, happy child, let alone comment, like hell am I going to start justifying it.

Mine was good at walking in small doses, but I don't drive and could be out 2-4 hours with him on a weekend, he had diagnosed feet and ankle issues, and if he hadn't intermittently rested in the buggy whilst out we just wouldn't have gone out and done the fun stuff we did.

CarterBeatsTheDevil · 20/11/2023 13:29

She needs to mind her own business. I think your answer was perfect.

LiesDoNotBecomeUs · 20/11/2023 13:29

Your answer was perfect. There was no need to explain.
I'm just sorry it left you feeling bad.
(As if you wouldn't know when your own child is better off in the pram/pushchair!)

ManchesterLu · 20/11/2023 13:31

I'd always say you just look after yourself, and leave me to look after my child, seeing as I know what's best for him. And walk away.

CattingAbout · 20/11/2023 13:37

Hi @cocoapple , sorry this happened to you. The woman was an interfering busybody and anyway its perfectly normal to have under 3s in a buggy. Try not to give it too much headspace.

I've had similar, I as I used to have to put my autistic 4 year old in reins to stop him running across busy roads. As several PP have said, your job is to keep DC safe. You don't owe anyone an explanation for that and you (rightly) didn't get drawn into a long discussion on it with busybody woman.

Siha345 · 20/11/2023 13:38

I was apparently a very big child and people would ask why I was still in a pushchair. I think it’s very rude and none of anyone else’s business. People just love to judge others and be nosey because they think they know better. To basically tap you on the shoulder and comment (not even ask) is nosey parkering at its finest. You have your reasons and your child is safe, that’s all that matters

Mumto2kids86 · 20/11/2023 13:42

Yeah that’s perfectly normal. She sound like a Karen.

Slitheringheights · 20/11/2023 13:43

How rude! Mines were 3 when they were out of the buggy. Later end of 3 as well. Handy for shopping. Just to fling shopping in the bottom of buggy lol 😂 I would have just ignored the rude comment.

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 20/11/2023 13:50

I will never understand people who even have an opinion on this.

My husband used to be one of them, and it fucked me RIGHT off. I always told him to mind his own business, that woman could have walked 500 metres from home with the baby in a pushchair or she could be doing a cross-country marathon - I don't care, it doesn't matter. I used our buggy for our twins right up till past 4, because we didn't have a car, and I didn't want to have to walk cranky, tired, belligerent 4 year old's home from pre-school. When I also had a baby. So they went in the pushchair, napped on the way home, and I had baby in a sling.