Being stopped because DS is in a pram

[cocoapple]

DS is 2 (3 at the end of February) We are currently going through some assessments as he’s very delayed, I’ve been told it’s more than likely asd. He’s still in a pram as walking anywhere with him is a nightmare. He has no sense of danger, he’ll just run off and because he has limited understanding I can’t explain to him why what he does is dangerous and he wouldn’t come back to me if I called his name. I have tried reins, but he just throws himself on the floor or tries to walk in another direction.

I was walking back from doing the school run and a woman was walking a little bit behind me. She said “excuse me, he looks a little old to be in a pram” I told her that there were reasons why he was in one and walked off.

I got home and got a bit upset. It hurts to see other children his age and even younger walking next to their parents, I’d love for him to be able to do that but at the moment it’s not possible. In parks where it’s secure is ok but anything other than that is just too dangerous and difficult.

I just can’t believe someone would even say that. It wasn’t like a friendly chat or anything like that, she literally just said what she said, not even a smile.

I never had any direct comments but used to get a lot of looks.

i chose to ignore them but I did look into sen pushchairs/wheelchairs as I thought it would be more obvious to onlookers as to why he was in one. In the end I decided it was f all to do with them and to save my money cos those things aren’t cheap!

My twins are 3.75 and still use the pushchair.
Going to pre-school is 1,000 steps. Normally they walk it, but sometimes on the way home they are tired. It's much easier to have a pushchair available, than to try to get two tired toddlers to walk. If I only had one child I might "risk" it without the pushchair, since if needed I could pick them up and carry them. But with twins, that's impossible.
My neighbour's daughter is over 3, and she pushes her to pre-school in a pushchair too.
It never entered my head that others might be judging me.
If I saw an older child in a push-chair, it wouldn't even register. If it did, I would assume they had walked a long distance, or maybe the child had SN or an injured leg.

Even without ASD, 2-3 year old’s are usually in a pushchair I’d say? I walk quite far generally so there’s no way I’d want to do that with 3 yo DS walking. The woman who commented was a weirdo.

There's such a poor understanding of invisible disabilities. I shouldn't have to explain my son's private medical diagnosis to a bunch of strangers on a bus, it's none of their business. Having an autistic child has really helped me not give a fuck about what people think or say.

Very rude of her, and ridiculous. Give it no further headspace.

It's perfectly normal for two year olds to be using a pushchair whatever their circumstances. All three of mine did. Two of them had been bum shufflers and had only just got around to walking by the time they turned two anyway.

I had a vaguely similar thing happen to me in the supermarket once although it didn't involve a pushchair. I had DD2, then two years old, in the trolley seat. DD2 has always been quite tall for her age, but definitely didn't look 5.

A woman came up to me and barked "Surely she should be at school!!" Really self righteously. I simply replied "No of course not! She's only two and still in nappies" and then walked off. I'm not sure she believed me and she was shooting very disapproving looks my way. I never did work out why it seemed to be such an issue to her.

The best thing is to just ignore the twattery. People are thick.

All mine were in a pushchair past two. I'd have never got anywhere otherwise. After the pushchair came the reins for two of the three who couldn't be trusted around crowds or traffic.

Someone said the same to me once and I'm still furious about it 6 years later. God I wish I could go back in time and tell her to fuck off rather than react with stunned silence.

@AhBiscuits I’ve thought of loads of replies since this morning that I could have given her but I was too taken aback at the time!

Because until proved otherwise, I think posts should be taken at face value. Especially if the OP is likely to be upset

I've had this too! My son is 3 but he is huge (we're awaiting a wheelchair). However he is disabled and wears a prosthetic leg, so he needs regular breaks. Their faces are princess when I lift up his trousers to show them his prosthetic. Nosey people should mind their own business!

My youngest was still using a pram at 4 (only a few months ago) because he would fall asleep in the car and then we needed to walk to pick up his older brother from school. He was using his pram still in July and started school in September! Needs must, it's better than waking him up and he still needed that sleep. It's totally normal for a 2 year old to be in a pram!

She's a bit too old to be passing unsolicited judgements.

I'm so so sorry that you had to endure someone's judgemental opinion you didn't ask for. You know your kid and do your absolute best to keep him safe and keep you sane. Fuck what she thinks. Can't believe she had the cheek to actually tell you this! I see kids who are older (5, 6yo) in prams too and it's none of my business. My daughter is 3 and I defo use the pram with her too, when she's tired, or we have a lot to walk around town + pick up bits and bobs (I can't carry anything on my back or shoulder as I've got SIJ pain, a slipped disk and sciatica) so the pram makes my life and my toddler's life better. I do not care what ppl think seeing me pushing my 3yo in a pram! I hope that you won't ever get any more comments like this, but even if you do, rest assured in the fact that you are doing your best, you are the best parent for your child and you know what he needs ❤️

"excuse me, he looks a little old to be in a pram” Excuse me you look a little old to be giving rude, unsolicited advice. Off you fuck.

You're doing what u cam to keep hon safe. My child was exactly the same. Asd and adhd

What a rude woman!!
I'd take absolutely no notice, in fact I'd have laughed and told her she was a bit old to be so rude and interfering and should know better at her age!!

I have two children my oldest was much more physical and walked miles no problem from no age. He's now in high school and struggles with work and is miles behind academically.
My second walked early but still struggles with distance and he's much more academic than my first ever was!!

I see parents pick kids up from pre school and reception with a pram, it's really nobody elses business as long as the child is happy!!

I think it's disgusting that she commented about the pushchair thing. They ate designed for up to 4 years, that's why most new pushchairs come with a 4 year guarantee. If other toddlers are able to walk that's great. But don't hold the expectation that because they can means ur child should. My 4yo when he was 2 he was adamant to walk places didn't want to be carried or put in pushchair until he completely exhausted himself out. But he was also like u described no sense of danger, in his own world all the time, development delay. He was also behind on speech but has caught up by times starting school.
Don't worry about what other says, all children are different and will develop at their own speed. Definitely wouldn't be shocked to see a 2/3 year old in a pushchair. My LG turns 3 next month and she still goes in pushchair if we are walking somewhere

Tbh I think thts really stupid of tht woman most prams are designed for up to 20 odd kilos ( the weights of most 3 year olds). He's still a baby ( ok toddler but even still). My daughters 2 in March and deaf ( born deaf) and she still goes regularly in her pram. She also has no sense of danger and can't hear her name or anything if im not holding her hand and looking at her. Don't beat yourself up please. There are idiotic people everywhere and you were just unfortunate to hear one of them.

I feel your pain .....

I have 2 DD's of the same age. 3 in February and for the last 3months they have been doing the same. Im sure its a age thing and I know they'll grow out of it. Scenario leaving super market both parents carry shopping and kids make a run for it feel like worsy dad in the world. Lesson is they'll be in trolleys next time. They're still in cots too. Ill judge when i move them to the next stage and not society.

Keep up the good work. Your doing amazing

My seven year old nephew with additional needs has a pram, my sister would have told the nosey bitch to fuck right off!

Wow what a rude lady. DS used his buggy regularly until he was nearly 5. Honestly don't people have better things to do with their lives.

She sounds like an arsehole and clearly has nothing better to do with her time.
Besides as some of the other commenters have pointed out your child is 2, plus it's not summer time anymore, plus it's quicker to get from A to B, plus it's none of her business.

Bless you you're clearly doing what is best for YOUR child, whose needs YOU know best. I hope this doesn't happen again, but if it does, please don't even explain yourself, a simple "and you look like a self righteous, patronising prick who has no idea when her opinion is not required" and go on your merry little way, with your child, in his pram. Sending love 💕

It's none of her business OP. People are dicks. I saw a mum snap loudly 'because we find it fun' to another woman once. She was holding a shoeless screaming toddler and pushing a toddlerless pushchair. Not sure what woman had said to her.

My dd only stopped using the buggy when she started school 🙈

I don't care what anyone else thought, it worked for us.