Being stopped because DS is in a pram

[cocoapple]

DS is 2 (3 at the end of February) We are currently going through some assessments as he’s very delayed, I’ve been told it’s more than likely asd. He’s still in a pram as walking anywhere with him is a nightmare. He has no sense of danger, he’ll just run off and because he has limited understanding I can’t explain to him why what he does is dangerous and he wouldn’t come back to me if I called his name. I have tried reins, but he just throws himself on the floor or tries to walk in another direction.

I was walking back from doing the school run and a woman was walking a little bit behind me. She said “excuse me, he looks a little old to be in a pram” I told her that there were reasons why he was in one and walked off.

I got home and got a bit upset. It hurts to see other children his age and even younger walking next to their parents, I’d love for him to be able to do that but at the moment it’s not possible. In parks where it’s secure is ok but anything other than that is just too dangerous and difficult.

I just can’t believe someone would even say that. It wasn’t like a friendly chat or anything like that, she literally just said what she said, not even a smile.

It's completely normal for a 2 year old to be in a pram, and it depends on how far you've walked. If I want to go on a long walk my 2 year old will need a rest in the pram! That lady was rude.

Whether he's got ASD (is it possible for a child of 2 to have that diagnosis?), he's still really a baby. It's fine for him to be in a pushchair.

Wow, I am surprised. I see many dc in prams until 3/4. We do not own a car and walk everywhere, my dd (almost 4) still sits in stroller otherwise I would have to carry her a mile when she decides she is tired. She will walk some of the time, but the stroller is still very much used....I did warn her as she gets older she will be walking more and stroller will be gone soon. But all my dc were the same and needed it when we walked far or when in a rush. I would just ignore the person.

My DD is nearly 6 and still uses a pushchair. She has Down syndrome and tires easily walking and has no sense of danger either. This woman was an idiot, pay her no attention and age two even without disabilities or extra needs is perfectly normal to be in a pushchair!

My 2.5 year old is always in a buggy, she’s feral and the youngest of 3 I can’t trust her to be free near roads! No one has ever commented. I don’t think it’s unusual at all.

Fucking hell some people are so rude!! Ignore and move on op

He's 2!! Fucking hell man. Even NT I wouldn't blink an eye at a 2 yr old in a buggy.

Mine didn't ditch the buggy properly until 6. It's far far better for them to be safe than cope with the extra shit ASD brings us.

Completely!

Not all kids are the same, and not all like walking.

Mine was a lazy so and so who wanted to be carried or conveyed everywhere. Others have kids who won't sit in a pram for a minute once they can walk.

What is wrong with people that they cannot accept that we are not all the same?

@cocoapple If I could actually get my 3 Year old into a Buggy, I absolutely would! I miss it!
Ignore the comment, you're doing great

She was ignorant and narrow minded and no business sharing her thoughts with you. Maybe she is concerned re childhood obesity rates . Who knows? 🫤
I HAD to use a pushchair to go any distance with one of my DS until he was 5 (including when first started school). He really couldn’t walk for more than a short distance without it turning into complaining and crying.
I also had comments , mostly from friends and family. Many inferred I was lazy parenting or he was lazy child. They were really oblivious to how difficult it was to walk any reasonable distance and how many inventive ways we came up with to build up his stamina to do longer distances. I was sad, worried and frustrated that he was behind his peers and fed up with hearing people say he was a lazy bones.
As he got older it transpired that he has developmental disorders (DCD/dyspraxia) and will wake crying with leg/joint pains if he does lots of exercise or long walks. Many other subtle problems with balance and coordination (bike riding, swimming climbing etc and he struggles at sports compared to peers. Of course we still get “helpful suggestions” from people now and sadly DS is old enough to understand and these comments have damaged his self esteem and can make him feel like failure/baby etc
I would have given the same response OP. Not enough time in the day to explain the backstory to a total stranger. She was BU

At 2 it is perfectly normal for them not be able to walk long distances...

My son doesn't have special needs and he was often in a pushchair until 3 and sometimes at 4...I only stopped because he is physically too big for the one I have now.

I reckon the people who don't use prams ever with a 2 year old probably drive everywhere.

She is bonkers. My NT eldest is 3.5 and still hops in the pram sometimes if her legs are tired on days out, or if we had a long way to walk. I have a double buggy for exactly this reason, although every Saturday we walk to her dance class and she hitches a ride home in the buggy under her sisters buggy!

DD didn't even walk until 23 months (ASD) so was in a pushchair for a long time. And she was very tall so would've looked about a year older. Luckily no one ever commented, but I know people do judge and it's a horrible thing to say to someone.

That’s really odd. For one, 2 is a perfectly normal age to be in a pram. Secondly, it’s none of her business!

My almost 4 year old still uses a pram, we're in a similar situation, very much delayed in speech and behaviour etc and o being out of a pram is just not safe at the moment as he won't hold my hand and will just run and run and doesn't have the understanding of danger or importance of listening to us. We get the odd comment and a few funny looks but I'm learning to ignore them, you're doing te best for your child. Besides, he's 2. I don't know many children who didn't need a pram or pushchair at that age :)

Quite often if I was walking a long way I would take the pushchair at that age!
I found a few month after she turned 3 we gradually didn't use it.

I walk a lot and it was too far for little legs! Never had any comments!
You don't have to explain to anyone!

I’d have probably said ‘You have a very high opinion of yourself to think a stranger should care for your unsolicited opinion’, but I wouldn’t be able to help saying something like that.

And a pram is very useful long past two years!

2 years old?! She's mad.

I still put my NT 3 year old in a buggy if it's the safest option (eg walking next to a busy road), or just if she's tired!

Sometimes 'mind your own business' is the only appropriate response.

I carry my 3 year old in a sling!! Never had a single comment, only smiles. She was just plain rude

I adopted my ds aged 3 and a half. He'd had a terrible life previously. He'd not been treated like a baby/toddler, no love, literally been left to fend for himself. My sister gave me her kids old buggy. He absolutely loved it. I pushed him everywhere in it, even though he could have walked most of the time. He'd never been in one before and he enjoyed being pushed around and being "pampered". He actually still used it occasionally, right up to starting school. My attitude was, it's harmless, he's just enjoying being made a fuss of and he deserves to be pushed around if it makes him happy after all his years of neglect. However, I did get a few negative comments, always from other women saying he was too big to be in a pushchair. I was furious as they had no idea of our situation. He's now in his twenties, his main hobby is hill walking, he walks for miles and he is very sociable and independent. People should mind their own business, don't let that busybody upset you!

She’s stupid, it’s totally normal to use pram at this age, ASD or not.
some kids love pushchairs till age 4!

@cocoapple Something similar happened to me in the village where we lived when ds (now dx with asd) was about 2. At the Xmas fair an old lady i didn’t know came up to me and said with a sneer “oh we were all just wondering if he HAD legs as he’s always in a pushchair”.

It stung so much. I really feel for you op. It’s so hard when you don’t know what is happening developmentally and you get comments like this.

I’ve just got rid of my NT (I think) 5yo’s buggy. Exceptional circumstances in our lives meant it was the only way to keep us all sane during a period where we have had to walk a lot and also stand in queues a lot, I needed somewhere to strap her into.

No one said a word to me (maybe because I have two older children) but if they had they would have been told to mind their own. Don’t take this woman’s rudeness to heart. Just imagine how perfect her life must be before she has the energy and inclination to comment to you about something that does not affect her one bit.

My dd was out her buggy at about her second birthday, hardly used it, walked beautifully, could walk for miles at a reasonable pace then I had ds, he was still in a buggy at about 4 and a half if we were going somewhere busy, crowded with any type of danger that would never crossed out minds before, I do not know why he was like that. Even if me and dp were both there it was just safer and less stressful for him to be strapped in!

He's 18 now, no sen, not neurodiverse and is highly intelligent!

Rude woman and 2, nearly 3 isn't that old to be in a pushchair and sometimes it's necessary for speed.

If it's any consolation dd was a particularly whiney baby, never stopped crying. In the local supermarket one day an older lady kept looking and I could see her disapproval. At thr tills she said "do you think there's something wrong with that baby?". I was ready and just responded "no she's fine, my parenting skills are just rubbish!". With a hard Paddington stare. She was gobsmacked.

Thinknof some responses and have them ready op x

Hope the assessment goes OK and good luck.