When did you start leaving your children on their own at home?

[arintingly]

My 7 year old is starting to be asked to be left on his own when we are doing things like dropping the younger one off somewhere.

So far I have said no, but he keeps asking me and it's made me realise that I don't have a clear idea in my mind of when it would be ok

I'm thinking about starting to leave him for up to around half an hour from maybe when he's 8? Then look to build that up to an hour by the time he is 10. Does that seem reasonable? Not sure what others do

I first left dd1 when she was about 10yo. My rule was I had to be walking and less than 10 minutes away. Driving you're more stuck if traffic is bad. So it was only if I was nipping to the local shops or dropping the younger ones at preschool/school.
I left dd1 and dd2 together when they were 12yo and 9yo.

Age 11

I leave my 9yr old alone when I collect his sibling from an after school club, probably for 20mins. But that’s it so far

I think at age 9 I used to leave DS for 10 mins max that it took to walk to school at end of road and back, to pick up DD from a club. Left for up to half an hour age 10 and gradually increased so by end of Y6 was occasionally leaving for 2 hours, so they were ready for the independence needed for secondary school).

I remember it clearly because it was during lockdown, so DS1 was 12 and DS2 was 9/10. Me and DH used to go for a walk - they didn't want to come so we would leave them playing Xbox and be gone for maybe an hour and a half. I think we may have left DS1 for short periods of time before that, like a pop to the shop, but not both of them.

I left DD at 8 when I had to get her sibling from a bus stop. It was usually 10-15 mins although there was an occasion when it was longer as the bus was delayed but we had a camera in the house that I could speak to her through to let her know.

It really does depend on the kid. My 13yo was born sensible, could absolutely trust her to stay home young, She stayed home from 8/9 when I took the twins swimming. Her 14yo sister, wouldn't even notice the house on fire.

Left the 9yo with the 13yo while I walked the dog the other night for first time ever. My heart was in my throat, the twins are full of beans

I left DS when he was 10 (nearer 11) to drop younger child at a club which was max 10 minutes total. Haven't left DD who is 10 on her own yet, but have left her with DS (12, almost 13) for half an hour or so. They get on well together though.

DD is sensible, but I think she'd get lonely. DS just games and probably doesn't move from the TV when we've left him 😂

There is some good information on the NSPCC website about this question so perhaps have a look at that.

Depends on the child, is he sensible? If so 10-20 minutes won’t hurt as long as you drum it in that he doesn’t answer the door to anyone (I also include people we know in that, just no one, do not answer the door).

10.5 when she had a mobile phone. No house phone so would have been dangerous leaving her before that. She'd started walking a bit to/from school with a friend so was ready for more independence. Started off at about 30 mins walking then progressed to short drives, now we'll leave her for maybe an hour (11.5) but don't need to leave her longer.
Even now I occasionally ask her what to do in an emergency, not sure an 8 year old would be that good in a crisis!

Yes, he is really sensible and a huge rule follower so TBH I actually wouldn't really have any qualms leaving him for a few mins now - it's more that I think 7 is too young than that I really feel he is too young, if that makes sense.

I think I will just revisit it next year when I see the kids schedules - we are very close to school so if, say, little brother wants to do a club a day that this one doesn't, I might allow him to stay at home for the 5 mins it takes to get to the school and back (it really is that close!)

Oh I totally get you, as I say our 13yo was brilliant, the other 3 not at all. I would NEVER ever leave my 9yos home alone, they're wee dicks frankly!

I have left my 9 year old twice when picking her sibling from school (about 2 mins away) but we've messaged during that (her using her iPad).

I’ll probably get flamed for this but I have been leaving my 5 and 6 year olds together alone for between 2-15 minutes over the last three months. (About 4 or 5 times overall). It’s for several reasons, partly because they are watching tv in their pjs after bath and might not want to traipse out to the co op with me, but for me it’s to instil a sense of awareness, responsibility and independence.

My 6 year old loves to come down in the morning and put on the tv, make his breakfast and have time to himself. He can make a weatabix and a drink and knows how to get ready for school. He enjoys this as he feels independent. I also want him to know what to do in case of a fire, how to call someone in an emergency and where to go if anything were to happen.

if I dropped dead, or was incapacitated, he knows where to take his brother and how to get help, but I’ve never scared this into him, it’s just good that he would know what to do.

in Victorian times it was common for children to work in factories from aged 5, which was appalling , but we’ve gone completely the other end of the spectrum and we now don’t teach children basic independence like being trusted alone until they are much older. It should happen in increments so they feel confident and safe.

I will caveat all the above with the fact that I have two children who are incredibly mature for their age and each child is different.

No no no

Well I did say I’d get flamed. But I had best add before I get shouted at that literally two of five times I was dropping a parcel at the next door neighbours so still left alone, but they knew I was next door.

10 for DD who is sensible, but not longer than 20 mins or so and local. My DS is 11 and I wouldn't leave him alone at the moment because he's likely ADHD and struggles with it

DD was 7 in lockdown and I left her to walk our ancient DDog around the block. I was gone max 15 mins and never further than 100 yards away.

Shes nearly 11 now and I leave her for about an hour at a time, say to work our (much younger, new) DDog.

DS was 8 years old; he had a cold and was off school and I gave him the choice of staying in bed or coming on the school run with DD. He stayed in bed and was quite happy being left for short periods from then on.

DD (5) then wanted this experience as well, so I left her home alone for 10-15 mins while I popped out somewhere. But she felt lonely and didn't enjoy it, so that didn't happen again until a few years had gone by and she was happy with the idea again.

Like previous posters have said, it depends on the kid. They need to be sensible and know things like: don't answer the door, don't play with the oven, don't have a bath, how to phone Mum's mobile, what to do if anything catches fire (obvs v unlikely!!).

I left mine from 8yo for 15-20mins, building up to 1-2h by 10yo. Children need to be taught what to do and how to be responsible...if they're never left, how do they develop these skills?

Aged 9 for 10-15 minutes popping to the local shop, age 10 maybe 45 min to an hour. Now nearly 12 I’ve left him for a couple of hours and he also goes to the park with friends for a few hours.

I think it also depends on the area you live etc. we live in a village and have neighbours, friends, relatives near by. I might have felt differently in a busier city area where I didn’t know neighbours etc.

Around aged 8/9. It was typically for 20 minute stretches, through covid there weren’t many options for lone parents.

Kids are 7 & 9 and if one is ill I will leave them home while I drop off or pick up the other at school. We live right around the corner, for drop off I can be away and back within 90 seconds, even if they dawdle and come out of school last I’m back within 5 minutes at pick up. I leave the front door locked and the back door unlocked in case of emergency, our garden is landlocked so they can’t go anywhere out the back but it gets them away from danger if they have to.

We also don’t have off street parking so if a space opens up in front of the house I’ll leave them in the house while I move the car. It’s a one way street so I have to go around and back down so it can be a few minutes but again, the back door is unlocked for them while the front door is locked.

I wouldn’t leave them alone for any longer yet as my eldest can be nervous but in another few months I might.

Sounds reasonable and what I did with mine. Make sure they know what to in case of a fire, someone knocks on the door or the phone rings etc, not to touch the cooker etc.

My DD is 9 and I’ve just started leaving her in the house for maybe 10-15 minutes when dropping/collecting my toddler at Nursery. She does walk to/from school by herself (she’s in Year 5) but doesn’t have a key so only does that on days when someone is in the house before/after school (depends on our shifts/days off) otherwise she goes to breakfast/after school club. I’m not comfortable with her having a key to lock up/let herself in yet.