Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Should we cancel our wedding plans - WWYD?

157 replies

NameChangeAfterTHAT · 06/11/2023 08:15

Wedding planned for Sept 2024. We live in a rural town, so there are no local options for a small ceremony and a meal out like you can do in a city. You either have a non-event experience, travel or go all out with a wedding venue.

As we are 40s and 50, first marriage for him, we have decided to go all out and booked a stunning venue, 65 people max. For family reasons, we have decide on a 2 year engagement. We are both quite introverted and have a tiny social circle,
and family, so we have struggled to think of more than 35 people to invite. But we’re happy with that - better small but true friends. Now, due to breaks ups and relocation 7 guests will not attend, we have not even sent the invites, but we already know. Then the remainder may not even make it and we are now thinking to cancel the wedding all together, cut our £3k deposits losses and stop spending another £15k or so. We would still get married on a budget. But I am really sad that it has come to this, but it’s a lot of money for what feels like no point.

Alternatively, we invite people we are not close to or try and try to make new friends, which is hard for us both, but that just sounds stupid. WWYD?

OP posts:
anonibubble · 08/11/2023 16:18

NameChangeAfterTHAT · 06/11/2023 10:26

Thanks, all. We have got swept in a romance of engagement and made an expensive mistake.

I just needed a confirmation that it is best to cancel, it feels a little like a personal failure.

I wouldn't see this as a failure at all, use the money for something you'll both enjoy and maybe take your immediate family out for a wonderful meal too.

I'm in the camp that thinks expensive weddings are a waste of money anyway, and I certainly wouldn't invite people to make up the numbers.

pookie999 · 08/11/2023 17:15

A lot of people don't like big weddings and hanging around all day for some cold food. I love a small wedding tho. A little registry office and dinner for 10 or so in a lovely restaurant or country house hotel. Small and cosy

Kapalika · 08/11/2023 18:26

Oh gosh, absolutely cancel. The do as @pookie999 says!
My brother had his wedding reception in a small restaurant and it was fabulous!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

1happybonusmum · 09/11/2023 14:19

We had to change our big wedding plans due to covid. We're also a bit older and felt getting married was what was important, so rather than cancel we had the ceremony in our village church with 20 guests then all walked back to our garden for the reception. We decorated and bought the booze ourselves but got a caterer to save us work and had a singer live. A couple of young people from the village helped out keeping drinks topped up etc. It was a magical day and we both say how happy we are that we couldn't go ahead with our original plan!!!

If I were you I'd cancel and find somewhere smaller. With a bit of imagination you can make the most uninspiring places beautiful and share a really special and personal day with the people you care about.

Palewildflower · 09/11/2023 15:41

Not gonna lie, I haven’t read all the replies so I don’t know if anyone else has already suggested this, but…..

Go to Gretna to elope, just the two of you. I know it’s cliche, but it’s actually really nice! That’s what we did (couldn’t stand the idea of a wedding). We drove to the The Daffodil Hotel in the Lake District and traveled to Gretna from there. We had two nights there and had some spa treatments too it was perfect! 10/10 would recommend and I would 100% do it that way all over again if we could.

Then if you wanted you could take your chosen guests out for dinner whenever you want. You still get to celebrate with them, so you have memories with them and your own memories that are just for you guys. And it’s a fraction of the cost!

Scylax · 10/11/2023 21:07

Cut your losses, have a registry office wedding with your very dearest, go on a lovely honeymoon, and invite people to dinners to celebrate with you when you get back. I know it feels like a failure to change plans, but being adaptable is really a win for you. Don’t throw away 12,000 pounds for the sake of 3!

stichguru · 19/04/2024 17:08

You booked a venue with for 65 people max, when you struggled to think of 35 to invite - weird but ok!! I think you will have too few for your venue. Make it a small wedding - come on 35 invitees, probably means 20-25 people if you are lucky - nice pub or restaurant?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page