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Original poster

NHS-Just had operation. Porter said this!!!!!

352 replies

IsAnybodyListening · 05/11/2023 10:54

Recently had complex surgery following an accident, and I have been home a few days now. The more I think about this, the angrier I get. As not to drip feed this was basically the situation.

My consultant and surgeons were utterly fantastic with me. My last surgery was over 10yrs ago, unfortunately there were complications plus I developed an infection post surgery and became extremely ill. Due to this, they were aware how anxious I was to be going under anesthesia again and were incredibly understanding.

Whilst on the ward. I was nil by mouth. Surgery was postponed 3 times due to life and death situations which is completely understandable, however during this time I hadn't ate in 38hrs which I was OK with, however the first issue were Nurses kept refusing to give me fluid. They weren't listening to me that surgery was delayed and that I could have water up until a few hrs before going into theatre. By sheer luck the anesthetist happened to pop into my room for me to sign consent forms whilst I was begging for a drink and told the nurse to give me fluid.

By this point, I'm hungry, exhausted, unable to sleep as in pain and very thirsty and drained, also scared of pending surgery and when it might happen.

The porter came to wheel me to theatre. Just before going into the operating room she is making idle chit chat, and the surgeon comes out to see me and help wheel me in. The porter obviously doesn't know what I've been through, my history or anything about me, and for some bizarre reason declares in the most jovial tone ' Just remember when they knock you out, not to go to heaven when you're under'!!!!!!

The surgeon heard, and fair play to him he looked bloody furious with this comment.

Anyhow, I had surgery, it should have been 2hrs but was closer to 6hrs. Now I am home and recovering, I can't stop thinking about what she said RIGHT before I had a massive operation. Who says something so stupid?

Do I assume the surgeon would have raised it as he definitely heard, or should I go down the formal complaint route? It keeps playing over in my mind, that and my surgery didn't actually go as expected and involved more surgeons and hours than initially expected and since I woke up, I can't stop thinking about what she said. Death IS a risk with surgery. Why would a health care professional say something so utterly careless like that in such a serious situation?

If you managed to read all that, thanks. Not sure if this should be in AIBU or is it a more WWYD question?

OP posts:
Sawaranga · 05/11/2023 10:57

I would complain. It's utterly thoughtless at best and she should be told not to say stupid shit like that. I hope you are feeling lots better.

Iamonetoo · 05/11/2023 10:58

I don't know, it's just a silly comment. I couldn't get worked up about it tbh. Especially not enough to complain.

123BlochHome · 05/11/2023 10:58

That's awful, I'm really sorry ☹️

I like to think it was stupid and thoughtless while trying to be "light", but it was still stupid and thoughtless and it should be dealt with so it stops her mouth. I think you should factually complain and then put it behind you.

Wishing you a speedy recovery x

Mamette · 05/11/2023 11:00

I wouldn’t do anything. I doubt she meant it to distress you.

I hope your recovery goes well 💐

catlovingdoctor · 05/11/2023 11:03

Iamonetoo · 05/11/2023 10:58

I don't know, it's just a silly comment. I couldn't get worked up about it tbh. Especially not enough to complain.

I agree.

LesSanges · 05/11/2023 11:05

Of course it’s highly unlikely she did it to distress the OP, but the measure of these situations isn’t intent, it’s effect. It’s a basic point of empathy that the porter should be able to understand, so once it’s reiterated by her managers I’d expect it not to happen to others in future (if she really can’t grasp it after having it spelt out then she’s in the wrong job). Absolutely raise it through PALS. No need for guns blazing (not saying you would), it can be put constructively, but it does need saying.

RomeoMcFlourish · 05/11/2023 11:05

When I had my son, he was whisked off to NICU straight away and due to my own problems I did not even see him for many hours. When I was finally well enough to be taken to see him, all of the emotions that I had held in up until that point came spilling out as I was being wheeled down there and the porter said “what on earth are you crying for now, you’re getting to see him!”
It was ignorant and insensitive and not what anyone involved in healthcare should be saying, especially not to people who have been through traumatic situations. I complained and have never regretted doing so and in your situation would do exactly the same. It’s incredibly unprofessional and she should be spoken to.

CharlieBigPotatoes1 · 05/11/2023 11:06

Well you didn’t so it’s all good. A careless comment but if you can forget it you won’t waste any more precious energy on it.

Sunnysidegold · 05/11/2023 11:06

I'd complain. I doubt she meant any harm but it was so insensitive and thoughtless to say - even to someone without your anxiety around the surgery!

Anyone who has contact with patients should be aware of how their chit chat might be interpreted.

Mariposista · 05/11/2023 11:09

It was inappropriate, but if you really think hard about it OP, do you honestly think he meant it in malice? Most likely it was a very poor taste joke. By reporting it, what will you achieve? You just want to get the guy in trouble? You will feel better for all of 5 minutes? Most likely if the surgeon heard it, he will have had a ticking off, and that is enough.

FloweryName · 05/11/2023 11:10

I’d be much more inclined to complain about the nurses who hold a professional degree not giving a patient water when they needed it and were allowed it.

The porter will be paid next to nothing and have no professional qualifications to do this role, so his mistake should be a lot more forgivable.

some people might have liked his joke
but no one likes being forced to be thirsty.

Pinkchairs · 05/11/2023 11:11

i was a hospital porter at one point, and stupidly said to a patient I was wheeling out of the room in a bed, to keep his fingers inside the bed so I don’t chop them off. Innocent enough comment. Until I tell you it was the vascular ward and he had one leg.

I was absolutely mortified. I just can’t believe that came out my mouth.

so I guess what I’m saying is, it could just be a totally kind of lighthearted comment, that wasn’t meant with any malice. Maybe not best placed, but not malicious. Shit happens.

saraclara · 05/11/2023 11:12

Contact PALS but calmly. Being a hospital porter is a minimum wage no qualifications role, so while there will be some lovely empathetic ones, it's not a given that they will all give the same kind of thought to the role. So it's the hospital's job to train them on what is friendly chat and what is potentially tactless or hurtful. Either someone has failed to train this person properly, or they need further training to remind them of the effects of what they say.

Cranberriesandtea · 05/11/2023 11:12

I would have laughed and agreed with her. Honestly don't see the big deal here.

Hbh17 · 05/11/2023 11:13

It's a throwaway remark, and would make me laugh, I think... bit of an icebreaker. To be fair, I love dark and sarcastic humour, but I really don't think it warrants a complaint at all.

Nonplusultra · 05/11/2023 11:14

I don’t think you’d be wrong to complain- it was insensitive and inappropriate.

But I also want to add, very gently, that it’s not unusual to focus in on something relatively minor when you’re in a survival situation - and between food and fluid deprivation, and surgery complications, your body and mind were in a battle for survival. So this has probably taken on enormous proportions for you at this time. It’s part of how the mind copes.

You’re still here, you’ve survived, and now you need to be gentle with yourself for a while. If it helps to be angry about this, then complain. But if it’s more than you can manage, that’s also okay.

Original poster
IsAnybodyListening · 05/11/2023 11:15

Yes. This is exactly how I feel.

OP posts:
Original poster
IsAnybodyListening · 05/11/2023 11:17

Sorry, that reply should have been to LesSanges

OP posts:
haribosmarties · 05/11/2023 11:17

I can see why you are upset but I don't think I'd complain about this. It obviously wasn't malicious and its a very busy and stressful job. I work for the NHS myself and every patient you come across has different communication needs. One person's warm and reassuring is another's flippant and insensitive, and one person's professional and serious, is another's cold and hostile. You don't always get the tone right... especially when you are seeing multiple people every hour. Honestly I think it's a bit unfair to expect a random Porter to know the ins and outs of your personal emotional journey. That jokey comment may have been received well by other patients and made them more at ease.
I'm very sorry you had the difficult experiences you did and that you have trauma from that.. but it isn't the fault of this random low waged Porter

Suckingalemon · 05/11/2023 11:18

It was a thoughtless comment and if its still bothering when you have your follow up with the surgeon I'd mention it then.

However, after a general anaesthetic for even minor routine surgery I get unrationally emotional, I think it's the drugs. Given your surgery has been much more serious and you've been so unwell I would allow some time and distance before responding. Throw your mental energy into your recovery instead.

Incogg · 05/11/2023 11:21

I would think about all of the times I've inadvertently said something stupid. I'd put it down to the porter being human and let it go. Focus on recovery.

Yetanothernewname101 · 05/11/2023 11:22

I think you need to raise both the porter's comment and the neglect in not giving you fluids and light food when your op was postponed. Of the two, the lack of nutrition is the more serious as you need to keep your strength up. I had similar delays and it was the FY1 who went to find me some water and a sandwich after he'd come to apologise for the op being postponed. Nurses seemed to be overwhelmed and unwilling to do anything without a doctor's say-so.

Janedoe82 · 05/11/2023 11:22

Wise up. She is a hospital Porter on not much above minimum wage. Why would you try and get her in trouble?? What would it achieve??
Move on.

muchalover · 05/11/2023 11:23

My son was in hospital this week for a large infection with raised markers for sepsis (flu like symptoms, very high heart rate and high white and t cells). It was over his eye, nose and throat so potentially impacting on his breathing and eye function.

Admitted to have IV antibiotics, fluids/ electrolytes and obs.

An HCA comes to do obs and when he tries to look at his heart rate she says "you've got white coat syndrome and your heart rate is up because your worried about it".

WTAF. He is such a laid back person for one. And two do not diagnose people who are ill with stupid shite.

clpsmum · 05/11/2023 11:23

Definitely complain