NHS-Just had operation. Porter said this!!!!!

[IsAnybodyListening]

Recently had complex surgery following an accident, and I have been home a few days now. The more I think about this, the angrier I get. As not to drip feed this was basically the situation.

My consultant and surgeons were utterly fantastic with me. My last surgery was over 10yrs ago, unfortunately there were complications plus I developed an infection post surgery and became extremely ill. Due to this, they were aware how anxious I was to be going under anesthesia again and were incredibly understanding.

Whilst on the ward. I was nil by mouth. Surgery was postponed 3 times due to life and death situations which is completely understandable, however during this time I hadn't ate in 38hrs which I was OK with, however the first issue were Nurses kept refusing to give me fluid. They weren't listening to me that surgery was delayed and that I could have water up until a few hrs before going into theatre. By sheer luck the anesthetist happened to pop into my room for me to sign consent forms whilst I was begging for a drink and told the nurse to give me fluid.

By this point, I'm hungry, exhausted, unable to sleep as in pain and very thirsty and drained, also scared of pending surgery and when it might happen.

The porter came to wheel me to theatre. Just before going into the operating room she is making idle chit chat, and the surgeon comes out to see me and help wheel me in. The porter obviously doesn't know what I've been through, my history or anything about me, and for some bizarre reason declares in the most jovial tone ' Just remember when they knock you out, not to go to heaven when you're under'!!!!!!

The surgeon heard, and fair play to him he looked bloody furious with this comment.

Anyhow, I had surgery, it should have been 2hrs but was closer to 6hrs. Now I am home and recovering, I can't stop thinking about what she said RIGHT before I had a massive operation. Who says something so stupid?

Do I assume the surgeon would have raised it as he definitely heard, or should I go down the formal complaint route? It keeps playing over in my mind, that and my surgery didn't actually go as expected and involved more surgeons and hours than initially expected and since I woke up, I can't stop thinking about what she said. Death IS a risk with surgery. Why would a health care professional say something so utterly careless like that in such a serious situation?

If you managed to read all that, thanks. Not sure if this should be in AIBU or is it a more WWYD question?

Just to be clear. I have no interest in getting anyone into trouble, I'm certainly not traumatised and I'm home, comfortable on mumsnet with a coffee.

Yes, a porter isn't a health care professional, however I would assume if part of their role is to collect patients for surgery they have some basic training with patient contact. The fact she said it infront of the surgeon also shows how oblivious she was to what she was saying. I don't think joking about seeing heaven under circumstances where surgery always carries a risk of death is anyway appropriate. Commen sense surely?

There are 2 types of people in the world IME, those who get on with things and think the best of people and those who ascribe malice or bad intent wherever possible.

If someone had said that to one of my parents, they'd have shrugged it off and asked the porter to pray for them. They certainly wouldn't give the comment a second thought! If someone had said it to my child, it would be slightly different, but I do not for one minute think a porter would say it to a child. But even if they did, I wouldn't complain because I would know how to handle the situation in the moment.

Reading your post today I'd be thinking nah, move on. BUT I am sat at home not feeling vulnerable after an accident, operations, infections, fearful of anaesthesia. So actually yes I might complain because you don't need that crap when already anxious and fearful.

One of my DC went into theatre and as I left the anaesthesia room and was taken to a relatives room, the porter gave a packet of polo's and a little hug and told me I'd be at my DC's side soon. I loved him for that and 12 yrs later still think of his kindness.

no i doubt the porter has basic training in the respect you are talking about, they have moving and handling, so no crashing the trolley but not people related skills i doubt

This!
Being dehydrated is awful.
The porter’s comment was just clumsy attempt at humour.
The Surgeon probably did have a word about inappropriate comments.

Hope you feel better soon, @IsAnybodyListening .

I hospital porters get very little training. I've come across one with white supremacy type tattoos up his arms and no requirement to cover them (although this was 20 years ago). Now that must make some patients horribly uncomfortable.

A porter isn’t a health care professional and was, probably ironically , trying to put you at ease. I’d let it go.

It's an awful thing to say, but you need to remember that these people see patients come back safely from theatre every single day - it's not as big a deal to them as it is for you. That's not an excuse for saying it, just a way of understanding why they may have said it so flippantly.

I’ve heard this said as ´advice’.

“If you’re given anaesthesia, remember to walk away from the light not towards it”. I’ve heard people describe having to do that while under anaesthesia so this porter probably thought she was being helpful

If other people will feel like you then i guess more training would be helpful

I wouldn’t be cross about the porter - people say all sorts of stupid things, all the time. I’ve heard much worse from actual Drs and nurses!

I would be cross about the withholding of water though.

What do you think will happen if you complain?

RoseGoldEagle You've nailed it.

imho, the best moment to say something was in the moment that the porter upset you.

The next best moment was to the health care staff soon afterwards.

Complaining now just creates a lot of paperwork.

That's a disgusting and completely inappropriate thing to say to anyone in hospital.

Please formally complain.

I'd be more furious with the lack of water from the nurses.

I judge people largely by intent, and it doesn’t sound as if this comment was spiteful or malicious.

The porter was trying to be light hearted, but it was clumsy.

I wouldn’t report someone for a clumsy, throwaway comment that was meant to be kind.

A porter isn’t a healthcare professional but even if you don’t actually complain, just provide feedback, they WILL get in trouble. It’s a low paid, menial job and I couldn’t live with that on my conscience, especially knowing that there was no malice intended.

I do think society has gotten a little over sensitive, and this is an example of that. We don’t need to complain or give feedback every time something happens that we don’t like. It’s fine not to like the comment, but there are many, many people who’d have found it absolutely fine. “Giving feedback” about a comment you didn’t like from someone who wasn’t even involved in your medical care seems pedantic. It also seems rather odd that you’re fixating on this while utterly dismissing the very valid complaints you have about fluids being withheld.

I’d agree.

Sorry you have been through what has clearly been a stressful and difficult operation OP, I hope you are on the mend.

I think the porter, though clumsy in her expression, actually mean the remark kindly. It may not have felt like it, but I think she was wishing you well.

Personally, I would let it go.

Do it. ‘I hope you don’t die’ from a porter who really even say anything is beyond inappropriate

Firstly I'm so glad you're recovering. Honestly people say silly things all the time and I can guarantee you the surgeon would have told them off. I do not think the comment was at all appropriate but to stew on it when you should he recovering is counterproductive. If your aim is to get this person sacked for a thoughtless comment, I think that is wrong and will put further stress on the hospital and decrease resources for current patients. Continue to recover in peace and put this to the back of your mind.

Leave it then.

It’ll just create a lot of paperwork that the NHS could do without.

I understand that you were upset, but the Porter didn’t mean any harm.

It’s disproportionate to launch a formal complaint about it.

Just be firm with yourself and move your thoughts on.

I am astonished that so many people are referring to the porter as male when the OP said twice that she was a she. In this situation I would have probably said I don’t believe in all that nonsense. But I agree with other posters, the deprivation of water was a much more serious issue. The porter may have been neurodiverse and just made a clumsy attempt at humour. Not worth getting upset over. The actual health professionals who weren’t looking after your welfare, yes I would complain about them.

Putting it on SM might be a quicker way to get a response than from PALS?

SpidersAreShitheads You clearly haven't read my response regarding the water. I'm certainly not fixating on anything, simply posted on here for opinions.

Completely disagree this is an example of society being too sensitive. Do you not understand? Literally less than 2 minutes after this comment I had been fully sedated, there was no time to digest, or raise what she had said at the time.

If someone was being insensitive, they may comment you have a bad hair cut for example. If someone tells you not to see heaven immediately before being sedated for an operation that does indeed carry risk of death, then this isn't them being insensitive, its downright abhorrent.

Downright abhorrent?! I think you're being overly dramatic.