NHS-Just had operation. Porter said this!!!!!

[IsAnybodyListening]

Recently had complex surgery following an accident, and I have been home a few days now. The more I think about this, the angrier I get. As not to drip feed this was basically the situation.

My consultant and surgeons were utterly fantastic with me. My last surgery was over 10yrs ago, unfortunately there were complications plus I developed an infection post surgery and became extremely ill. Due to this, they were aware how anxious I was to be going under anesthesia again and were incredibly understanding.

Whilst on the ward. I was nil by mouth. Surgery was postponed 3 times due to life and death situations which is completely understandable, however during this time I hadn't ate in 38hrs which I was OK with, however the first issue were Nurses kept refusing to give me fluid. They weren't listening to me that surgery was delayed and that I could have water up until a few hrs before going into theatre. By sheer luck the anesthetist happened to pop into my room for me to sign consent forms whilst I was begging for a drink and told the nurse to give me fluid.

By this point, I'm hungry, exhausted, unable to sleep as in pain and very thirsty and drained, also scared of pending surgery and when it might happen.

The porter came to wheel me to theatre. Just before going into the operating room she is making idle chit chat, and the surgeon comes out to see me and help wheel me in. The porter obviously doesn't know what I've been through, my history or anything about me, and for some bizarre reason declares in the most jovial tone ' Just remember when they knock you out, not to go to heaven when you're under'!!!!!!

The surgeon heard, and fair play to him he looked bloody furious with this comment.

Anyhow, I had surgery, it should have been 2hrs but was closer to 6hrs. Now I am home and recovering, I can't stop thinking about what she said RIGHT before I had a massive operation. Who says something so stupid?

Do I assume the surgeon would have raised it as he definitely heard, or should I go down the formal complaint route? It keeps playing over in my mind, that and my surgery didn't actually go as expected and involved more surgeons and hours than initially expected and since I woke up, I can't stop thinking about what she said. Death IS a risk with surgery. Why would a health care professional say something so utterly careless like that in such a serious situation?

If you managed to read all that, thanks. Not sure if this should be in AIBU or is it a more WWYD question?

I would complain so she didn't do it again, not to get her in to trouble.

Ah. Sorry, I should have elaborated on the water thing. Basically I was in a private room at the end of an extremely packed ward. Nurses and assistants you could see were run of their feet. Because my door had a Nil by Mouth sign, the tea lady would obviously avoid, however I got a jar of water earlier on and it was removed from my room as the surgery was being postponed, everytime I asked a nurse would have to go and see if surgery had been scheduled as obviously water isnt allowed close to surgery. I did eventually have small glass of water a few hrs before going in thanks to the anesthetist asking, then they let me have tiny sips so I wasn't completely dehydrated.

I assume that you all know how to act appropriately when working with the public though

She maybe just isn’t the brightest!!

When I was being wheeled to theatre to have a ERPC for a late miscarriage the porter said 'cheer up, it might never happen'. I was staggered. I was obviously very distressed and was crying off and on. You wonder what kind of training people have! I know it's not a specialist job but basic sensitivity training would be expected. I'm sorry that happened to you. Best to put it behind you I think.

I would complain about the lack of food and water for so long, that is seriously poor care, and I say this as a nurse with over 30 years of experience.

That's irrelevant they can still be advised that comments like this are unacceptable.

It would have made me laugh and done the needful to buck me up. I might have said 'I'll be going to the other place'. However, everyone's different, as spending thirty seconds on Mumsnet will make abundantly clear.

Yeah. But there's a difference between joking amongst ourselves about the £10k bonus we will get when we remove a child (dark humour) and telling the parent you're taking to court that you're looking forward to your bonus...

They are so far down the ladder and there are so many staff shortages I doubt there is a huge amount of time spent training porters beyond the practical aspects of moving patients.
get some perspective

The problem isn't a throwaway insensitive comment from a porter, the problem is your trauma from a terrifying ordeal.
Have you considered seeking some help with that?

When I was diagnosed with cancer it was a complete shock. They took me off to a room to do mra swabs a few minutes later and i was crying. The nurse doing the swabs said to me and i quote , "Come on, you've had a whinge now pull yourself together". Didn't complain but never forgotten. Very occasion I think some staff must get desensitised in which case they are in the wrong profession.

I used to.be a mental.health nurse and have a very dark.sense of humour
I also have the ability to know when it's not appropriate to make an insensitive joke or comment.

The best thing to do is report your situation to the hospital PALS representative. They will advise what you can do and what the process is.

I think there are a lot of thoughtless staff around in all walks of life. A couple of years ago I had to have a minor gynae examination, i was anxious about it and already conscious of my weight. they weighed me before the procedure, not sure why as no GA involved. The nurse exclaimed ' Oh time to go on a diet '. I was mortified especially as I was already anxious about having my bits on display to a room full of people. I ended up crying. I should have complained.

Generally porters aren’t the most sensitive of people. I think they find people who are willing to walk and do small talk.

Let it go.

The backstory of your previous ops and also the delay in this one isn't really relevant to what happened, other than they made you anxious before this op.

IMO the only battles worth taking on with organisations like the NHS are ones where you can predict a 'win'.

Far worse happens in the NHS and patients often never have a satisfactory outcome, but waste a huge amount of energy on the process.

It was a totally stupid thing for the porter to say, but you're not going to get anywhere by complaining. It would escalate into a formal complaint, lots of stress for you, and really you should focus on your recovery.

I would send feedback to PALS. Going into surgery is absolutely terrifying. This person urgently needs training on how to talk to patients,

I don't think OP wants to get the surgeon in trouble, but wants to make the point that the porter could've avoided talking about death under anaesthetic. It was the porter who said it, not "the guy".

Just leave the min wage worker alone. You're fine, move on.

Yes, this.

But your not the Op. And it upset the Op
If the Porter thinks this an ok thing to.say ,what else might they be saying to.other patients and relatives ?

x2boys we are talking about a Porter here. Not a nurse. It was a stupid thing to say but not worth getting worked up about and fixating on.

I don't think OP wants to get the surgeon in trouble, but wants to make the point that the porter could've avoided talking about death under anaesthetic. It was the porter who said it, not "the guy".

It's perfectly clear who the poser is referring to. The porter.
Why did you mention the surgeon?

It's you who's got the wrong end of the stick/ post.

Bbq1 That's shocking!