NHS-Just had operation. Porter said this!!!!!

[IsAnybodyListening]

Recently had complex surgery following an accident, and I have been home a few days now. The more I think about this, the angrier I get. As not to drip feed this was basically the situation.

My consultant and surgeons were utterly fantastic with me. My last surgery was over 10yrs ago, unfortunately there were complications plus I developed an infection post surgery and became extremely ill. Due to this, they were aware how anxious I was to be going under anesthesia again and were incredibly understanding.

Whilst on the ward. I was nil by mouth. Surgery was postponed 3 times due to life and death situations which is completely understandable, however during this time I hadn't ate in 38hrs which I was OK with, however the first issue were Nurses kept refusing to give me fluid. They weren't listening to me that surgery was delayed and that I could have water up until a few hrs before going into theatre. By sheer luck the anesthetist happened to pop into my room for me to sign consent forms whilst I was begging for a drink and told the nurse to give me fluid.

By this point, I'm hungry, exhausted, unable to sleep as in pain and very thirsty and drained, also scared of pending surgery and when it might happen.

The porter came to wheel me to theatre. Just before going into the operating room she is making idle chit chat, and the surgeon comes out to see me and help wheel me in. The porter obviously doesn't know what I've been through, my history or anything about me, and for some bizarre reason declares in the most jovial tone ' Just remember when they knock you out, not to go to heaven when you're under'!!!!!!

The surgeon heard, and fair play to him he looked bloody furious with this comment.

Anyhow, I had surgery, it should have been 2hrs but was closer to 6hrs. Now I am home and recovering, I can't stop thinking about what she said RIGHT before I had a massive operation. Who says something so stupid?

Do I assume the surgeon would have raised it as he definitely heard, or should I go down the formal complaint route? It keeps playing over in my mind, that and my surgery didn't actually go as expected and involved more surgeons and hours than initially expected and since I woke up, I can't stop thinking about what she said. Death IS a risk with surgery. Why would a health care professional say something so utterly careless like that in such a serious situation?

If you managed to read all that, thanks. Not sure if this should be in AIBU or is it a more WWYD question?

Well that's because a female porter is known as a porteress, obviously. Or a trolley dolly.

It was just a throw-away comment.

You're getting upset over something that isn't worth a single thought.

Hope your recovery goes well.

I think you should complain. It's called unprofessional behaviour. It doesn't matter what you had been through before or after the operation, it doesn't matter if it was 'just a silly comment', it doesn't matter who made the comment. Patients are vulnerable by definition.

If you're comfortable raising a complaint about someone's misjudged and unfunny comment, then go ahead. She wasn't wishing death on you or suggesting you might die under anaesthetic, it sounds like she was trying to raise a smile. She made a mistake. Let it go.

In your op you say the nurses weren't listening to you and kept refusing to give you fluid.

Even if they were run off their feet, as you say later, that's very poor medical care. You must have been in a dreadful state after all the postponements.

Yet you continue to focus on the admittedly inappropriate comment by the porter.

I think it's easier to be angry than to be scared.

I wouldn't complain. It was a throwaway comment with no intention of hurting or offending you.

Humour or not, it's not really ideal to be telling people not to die before they get put under for major surgery. Personally I wouldn't want her to be in trouble but advising it's not really appropriate in that setting.

I wouldn't say that to someone I knew well enough to joke with let alone a stranger 🤷🏻‍♀️

I don’t think the porter was being malicious. However, I would be complaining about having fluids witheld by the nursing staff.

This
people mostly don’t intend to cause distress
when it does happen in a caring profession it must be dealt with immedately as a performance issue. If no one says anything because “it was just a silly comment, she didn’t mean it” then she’ll think she’s come up with a great silence filler for all patients and repeat and repeat until she’s left a raft of perturbed and anxious patients behind her.
She needs help from management to understand what to say to patients to help them be relaxed and not stressed in those few moments the porter has with patience. I’ve had 12 op’s and no one has ever referred to what’s going to happen during the op other than anaesthetist and surgeon, all the rest say stuff like “don’t worry, we’ll take good care of you”, or “your in safe hands”, and then the rest is “hairdresser” chit chat, “have you had to take time off work? What do you do? “ or “who’s bought you in today?” Always a good one to open conversation on family or friends .
it’s a skill to keep patients stress free and calm. But it’s important and part of job of porter. Some porters have a good line of “jokes” they clearly use, it this form of black humour is not appropriate and needs to be nipped in the bud

To be honest, if a porter said this to me, I'd quip something back about going to Hell instead. I'd find it funny in a gallows humour sort of way.

But that's me.

I think they were trying to crack a joke but it clearly fell flat. I wouldn't think anything more of it.

Please don't complain. That's someone's job and livelihood. I'm sure you have better things to do with your time then drafting complaints to Pals or hospital management.

Me too, but this is Mumsnet, where people with wildly opposing views duke it out, for the entertainment of everyone else, and to generate ad views.

No I wouldn’t complain about an underpaid, overworked ported making a not very good joke, a bit inappropriate and a bit foot in his mouth but I couldn’t get worked up over it.

also a bit confused about the anger against the murder and people suggesting she complains about them. Yes your surgeon and anaesthetist were very nice to you but not very good communicators with other members of the MDT it seems! The nurses aren’t physic and it is up to your surgical team to let them know your surgery has been delayed. Had they given you fluids based on your incorrect assumption that things had been delayed that couple be very dangerous and yes sometimes patients lie to get fluids!!

A poor taste joke trying to lighten the mood.
Id be more inclined to complain about the lack of fluids.

That's so counterproductive. If OP doesn't complain someone else will do in the near future. The porter will not lose the job, the porter will do the job properly.

Oh the porter was making a light hearted joke fgs, seriously are you always so easily offended?

I wouldn't make a formal complaint as such but give feedback about the inappropriate comment.

I would be inclined to complain about the water thing though. I had fluids denied to me for a long time post-surgery once and I still remember how horrible it felt, technically wasn't dehydrated because I was on a drip but still felt absolutely awful and made everything else feel worse, so I can imagine the comment was even more upsetting than it might have been.

I’d also add, you can write a letter rather than pals, saying you just want this staff member to know you found it disturbing.
I broke my elbow a few years ago, I’m post menopausal and have a reasonable tolerance to some pains including broken bones. I went to A&E and saw a nice young doctor, who manipulated my arm and declared I’d just strained it despite it being swollen. Sent me on my way with no x-ray.
i went to physio 4 days later when I couldn’t move it, massively swollen and black and blue and she sent me straight back to A&E with a note to say “X-ray her this time”.
I wrote to the hospital to pass onto the doctor that it had been broken, and said (and I put it more subtly than this) that just because I wasn’t crying or screaming in pain when he manipulated it , didn’t mean he shouldn’t X-ray it. Fact I was menopausal and had fractured another bone 2 years early should have meant he made sure. I said in letter, explicitly, that I wasn’t asking for a response, apology or action other than i just wanted him to know and maybe learn from it. I got a very nice letter back a few weeks later from the department , thanking me for the feedback and that it was passed onto the doctor.
that was It
Medical staff need to be allowed to make mistakes, we all do, and then get open feedback to learn from. It doesn’t need to be about “getting someone into trouble”. It’s a very poor culture when people get penalised or punished for human errors- that way poor practices and cover ups develop

Is a porter a health care professional though? It's a pretty hard and monotonous job, but it doesn't need any training, I don't think, and it sounds like she was just trying to be friendly.

I understand it upset you, but she didn't mean anything by it. It's just one of those things. I would let it go.

I actually think it is important to report it.

It may not end in that one porter being spoken to about the one incident, or the busy nurse being told off for not bringing water, but internal audit and quality improvement measures are undertaken within hospitals and data from reported incidents like this can steer staff training and improve systems as a whole.

I agree that giving factual feedback to PALS is the way to go, and will hopefully help you process your experience too.

Yep, the fluid thing was a huge mistake between staff. I raised it at the time with them, and also recieved clarification from the anesthetist who spoke to the nurse about fluids. From what I could gather there was differing opinion on when I could drink due to the surgery being postponed, and I think I missed a point when I could drink when surgery was canceled, to then when it was scheduled again if that makes sense?

Absolutely not fixating on the porter, don't want her to get into trouble, I'm fine and certainly not traumatised or offended etc....

Realistically though, to all those thinking its not a big deal. Would you like that to be pretty much the last thing said to you, before going under? I'd have rather had a cheery 'See ya soon'. I think most people hold enough common sense to read the room, and differentiate between what is appropriate to say, and what isnt given each circumstance.

I think the comment probably annoyed you more because you were hungry, thirsty and dealing with the aftermath of your other surgery. That is why the porter should not have made this comment though. They don’t know any patient’s history so don’t know how anyone will take a comment like that. A lot of people will be fine with it, but not worth the risk for those that aren’t. I would frame the complaint in a way that showed I didn’t think the porter should be punished or that I was really mad at them, but maybe they need a bit more training.

You don't want to get the porter in trouble, you are fine, not traumatised nor offended then don't complain!

We will end up in a situation where people are not allowed to be human.

This. I have had a few major surgeries and would forget what the porter said.

👏👏

What a dreadful thing to hear as you are about to undergo surgery. I'd raise the issue so the porter can be advised that she was out of order.