The thing is... it's "men", though, isn't it. It's always men.

[Wilferton]

It's only really dawned on me in recent years. The conversations we all have about what "countries" or "states" are doing to eachother, the terrible crimes against women, animals and children, particularly the sexually motivated ones. It's men. We're not talking about what a particular state or country has done, we're talking about what men have done.

So now, when I click onto my news app, I find myself thinking "What have the men done now."

I feel sad that I can only really now see it this way. Actually sad for many reasons.

No. Reciprocal altruism is as common, and certainly humans, along with vampire bats and all kinds of mammals exhibit it. People who think murder and rape are evolutionary are typically not evolutionary psychologists.

If you look at herder/hunter gatherer societies, there is much less rape and murder, and it's really very rare within the group. Fixed agriculture buggered us. It meant you could hoard resources and therefore big and strong was more important. Gathering is essential in HG groups so you can't be really dreadful to the women or you'll starve.

I’d rather ’Sharon’ didn’t make me feel like it was my fault I was raped because I dressed like a slut because I looked better in a short skirt than she did. There are evils and atrocities everywhere. I’ve been raped. And as a survivor of that, it was more painful to be shamed and blamed by my ex best female friend than anything else.

@jays "Women just bully, shame and ostracise each other to death."

Sure about that? Actual death?

Bullying can lead to such extremes as suicide, its not murder but I still think pushing people to the extreme where suicide seems the way out is pretty extreme. I wasn't quite that bad when I was bullied but perhaps that was because I realised the bullies were worthless and I'd rather be on my own than in their company.

Individual cases of bullying are terrible of course, but it’s in no way comparable to the millions of rapes, sexual assault, unwanted sexual advances, cases of intimidation, DV, loss of livelihood, death threats, violent assaults and so on and on meted out by men every single year. Wars aren’t started by women, invasions aren’t led by women, dictators aren’t women. Women may run the world - but it’s men who rule it.

I’m one person, and not a very important one at that. My mother’s abuse has led to fifteen serious suicide attempts (not going to detail methods, but I shouldn’t still be alive). My sister is also a terrible person and I’ve been bullied at work by women multiple times. I still think the majority of systemic problems are caused by men and you won’t convince me otherwise. Sorry.

Am with you OP and it’s fucking depressing as it will never be fixed

This! Finally some sense here.

Yes, of course, no-one is saying there are no awful women. But they're a statistical anomaly in an ocean of men causing terrible harm.

Tbh the fact that the same few women always get listed on these threads pretty much proves the point really.

Serious question- I'm asking from a position of ignorance but interest- is it actually true about hunter/gatherer societies having lower levels of rape and murder? I recently listened to an audiobook (might have been Sapiens) that said that the evidence from human remains pointed to very high levels of violent death in early human, pre agricultural societies.

To all those saying "it's always men."

If you have sons, please show them your posts and ask them where YOU have gone wrong in raising them to be such monsters.

I'd be interested to hear their responses.

Of course, first rule of misogyny is that women are responsible for the behaviour of men. Might as well get started early.

@Totallymessed

You may not have responsibility for the behaviour of men but you do have responsibility for how you raise your sons.

Do you not tell them drugs are wrong, carrying a knife or gun is not a good idea?

My mum and dad told me, when I was about 6 or 7 that
I shouldn't hit a girl because I was bigger and stronger than them.

I never have.

On the flip side it’s also interesting to note which sex contributes more to society, altruistically. To benefit all or for shared rewards.

eg over 80% of unpaid volunteers are women. An even higher percentage of unpaid carers are women.

Men tend not to offer help or work unless they are rewarded or benefit directly from it.

So you're a man who has posted on this thread to blame women for anything bad their sons might do?

@Totallymessed

Not women specifically no.

Parents.

@VeniVidiWeeWee but in our society who is responsible for the majority of childcare, to the extent that single parents or SAH parents of the other sex are regarded as anomalies?

It’s not all men but it is always men.

Most of our sons, husbands and fathers are lovely and wouldn’t start wars, rape or murder. But wars, rapes and murders are almost exclusively the committed by men.

Exactly this.

Although rape requires a penis so it’s always men there.

I always think the litmus test is the drunk young person example.

A drunk, helpless young woman or man found by women is likely to be helped and kept safe from harm.

A drunk, helpless young woman or man found by men is at real risk of sexual assault from them.

Think of the warnings we give women, don't dress to attract attention, don't walk alone in lonely place, don't walk alone in the dark, carry a rape alarm.

Perhaps the narrative needs to be reversed and the patriarchy addressed.

If you see a person more vulnerable than you,

Pressed too soon, sorry.

If you see a person more vulnerable than you, don't hurt them, don't rape them, help them instead.

It's not that it's "men".To be an aggressor, you have to score very highly in certain personality traits, and only a tiny percentage of the population score this highly in these traits. Men tend to score marginally higher than women in these personality traits, but only marginally. So, it makes sense that the small percentage who score extremely highly in these characteristics will be men. But overall, on the lower scale, men and women are pretty equal when it comes to possessing such traits, and such men and women make up the majority.

Pinkdalmatian9 It’s not a small %

these are the usual figures

https://www.who.int/news/item/09-03-2021-devastatingly-pervasive-1-in-3-women-globally-experience-violence

Ah my grandma (war generation) used to say if women ruled the world there would be no more war. I do believe that's true.