Matthew Perry buried already?

[CherieBabySpliffUp]

I don't mean this to be an insensitive question but why has Matthew Perry been buried so quickly? Is it customary in America? Admittedly it was nearly 20 years ago but when a family member died unexpectedly at home in the UK we had to wait over a month before the body was released.

Was 15 days for my mum last year from death to funeral

Posted too soon
15 days was hard because I had 3 days off work, then had to go back to work while waiting for her funeral, then take a day off for that so it was a sort of limbo of grieving

@crumblingschools its just not a problem as it’s the social and cultural norm here. People and workplaces tend in general to be respectful of that.

A relative died 20 years ago in a rural village in Wales. No PM, but it took days to register the death as the local registrar's office only opened very part-time and you couldn't use any but that designated office for the area.

And then there was the waiting time for a slot at the nearest crematorium which serves a big geographical area including s number of ever-expanding towns.

The funeral was, as I recall, more than 3 weeks after the death.

Do you have to take unpaid leave @jusdepamplemousse? Also is it work dependent, so would a teacher or surgeon be able just to take leave for some random’s funeral? Also is this much more the norm in small, rural communities?

In Ireland, DMIL needed a post mortem as it was a sudden death but was still buried in less than a week. And that was at the height of covid.
The norm here would be wake and burial would happen in 2-3 days.

Solomon Grundy,
Born on a Monday,
Christened on Tuesday,
Married on Wednesday,
Took ill on Thursday,
Grew worse on Friday,
Died on Saturday,
Buried on Sunday,
That was the end,
Of Solomon Grundy.

Just had to wait 3 weeks to get a date for a close relative’s funeral. It was awful, you’re left in limbo. In Ireland the norm is within a week and that’s so much better.

As others have said, very normal in the US. My mother died on a Tuesday and we had the funeral on the Friday. As for people making arrangements to come, because funerals take place on short notice, employers, in particular, are usually understanding about leave to go, and many airlines (and some hotels) offer bereavement rates. My sister managed to fly cross country to get to my mother's funeral, with time to spare.

I would really hate to wait two or three weeks. I think it would have really interfered with the grieving and healing process.

Totally agree with this. In the 90s I lost all three surviving grandparents within a couple of years. All funerals were arranged within a week - 10 days, with the exception of Grandad who died the Thursday before Good Friday and it was the following Tuesday after the bank holidays before we could register and get things moving.

Lost a parent earlier this year and it took 3 weeks 2 days before we could get a cremation slot.

I'm in Ireland and usually burials happen 2 to 4 days after a death, a month is absolutely crazy in my opinion

It’s usually 3-4 days in Nz between death and burial.

My aunt died during covid ( not of covid)
16 day wait between death and funeral.
My mum died last year . 19 days between death and funeral, reason being she had wanted a church service so it all had to be aligned with the minister being free and a crematorium slot.

Immediately before Covid my dad died at Christmas and cremation was mid January. That was a direct cremation and so the funeral service was held separately, and we didn't have to wait for the crematorium slot.
If you want a service at the crematorium generally the early morning 9/10am slots are available without much wait.
Deaths must be registered within 5 days by law (unless coroner involved) but until its registered you can't plan funeral. However some funeral directors will start arrangements without the paperwork and pencil in a date. But they shouldn't really. I've worked in the industry for a good few years and in our area we have 2 crematoria, and a 3 week wait is pretty standard.

As usual, we just don't have the public services that we need.

But we probably have the public services we pay for.

This has been my experience of time scale for burials and I live in the south west. The only time it was delayed by a week was when the possible cause of death was asbestos exposure so they had to do more tests.

Same. sister had holiday booked so wanted funeral asap. 3 days was all it took. Uk. That was 15 years ago and we knew reason for death so no coroner...autopsy etc.
Every other funeral after ive been to has taken at least a month from death, 6 weeks one was. Ridiculous here

It really isn’t difficult at all. Time of work, childcare arrangement etc. happen without issue if someone needs to attend a funeral.
Certainly here in Ireland anyway, the whole parish usual comes out for funerals and no one is ever inconvenienced by it.

I think it adds to even more distress to have a long gap. When my DF died expectedly in 2007, the gap was 8 days which was an horrible time. I didn't know what to do with myself yet couldn't face work.

The idea that it is now 3/4 weeks is shocking.

I wish it was that way here... open casket, a month later.. they don't look the same.

I’ve had two people I know die recently. I’ve funeral took place 6 weeks after his death, the other hasn’t yet taken place but is scheduled for 5 weeks post death.

Its shocking here and prolongs the agony.

When my uncle died In Cyprus, he was buried 48 hours afterwards.

We diss the UK (well, England since devolution) for this because we really are outliers, and this is something that has drastically got worse with the cuts to public spending. There aren't enough crematoria, and there are fewer registrars.
If the gap you mentioned is typical for Iceland, then it joins us as an outliner. But the vast majority of countries can bury or cremate people within a few days, not several weeks.

It's nothing to do with Covid. It was as bad when my DH died well before it hit.

@crumblingschools the element of going to all the funerals of anyone living near you is rural yes. but in terms of getting short notice time off work for funerals of folk you do know (including acquaintances or close relatives of good friends, so quite a wide net if that makes sense) isn’t really a problem that I’ve ever encountered. I’m a professional in a city so just manage my own workload etc but it wouldn’t raise eyebrows for me to take time for a funeral. Certainly never been told to take unpaid leave, no. I wouldn’t take the piss and take a full day for an acquaintance’s funeral, I’d just go to service and might have called to wake in the evenings previous. But for someone I knew I’d certainly attend the ‘afters’ following the funeral. I’ve friends who are doctors, nurses, teachers etc and I’ve never expressly talked about it with them but imagine colleagues are happy to provide cover for such occasions and they would do likewise.

The idea of waiting a month for funeral is horrific to me. How do you cope in such a long limbo? If it was close family would you be off that whole time, I guess not? I would struggle a lot with that but perhaps because of the concept of a wake is so central to mourning here.

When my aunt, my dad's brother's wife, died, my parents were away with us on holiday in a place that had no mobile phone signal, so my uncle couldn't contact my dad to tell him. The funeral was delayed until after our holiday, when my dad found out. Obviously my uncle wanted all his brothers and sisters at his wife's funeral.

Same here. In my country the funeral is usually 3 days after the death. Any longer would be very unusual.