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Why do young women hate older women so much?

152 replies

CurlewKate · 02/11/2023 13:50

When I was a young woman in all the excitement of feminism and equal rights campaigning, I thought that by now most of the battles would be fought and won. That our daughters and granddaughters would carry on the fight, and society would be well on the way to equality. But in reality legislation has changed but attitudes are lagging far behind. Far too many men are still stuck in the age of dinosaurs and despise women as much as they ever did. And even worse, many young women seem to regard older women with the same hatred, contempt or indifference. There seems to be little sense of building on what has gone before-depressingly in some ways things have gone backwards. What can we do?

OP posts:
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Orchidgarden · 02/11/2023 13:53

I hadn't noticed any hatred for older women. Where are you seeing this?

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Raincloudsonasunnyday · 02/11/2023 13:53

Well, those are some sweeping statements there!

No future generation "owes" your generation anything. You may have thought you were doing the right thing for future girls and women; they will (have) decide(d) for themselves what they want. You actually sound quite like my overbearing father - "after everything we've done for you!".

Let it go. You did what you thought was right. That's enough.

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Prawnofthedead · 02/11/2023 13:55

I don't see this at all.

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Begsthequestion · 02/11/2023 13:55

As a former young woman yourself, perhaps you can answer this question?

I've never hated older women personally.

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KStockHERO · 02/11/2023 13:56

...Because its the one thing they are absolutely 100% guaranteed to become in life and that can't change.

Read "Hags" by Victoria Smith - brilliant insight into the positioning of older women in society.

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Somanycats · 02/11/2023 13:57

Absolutely womens right are going backwards in the west. You've paid your dues. If young women vote for policies that are in their own worst interests, there is little you can do.

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Moreempatheticmyarse · 02/11/2023 13:57

I see ageism on MN all the time, and given the demographic that's often ageism against women

But these threads generally don't go well as some posters are unwilling to admit that these ageist comments exist or demand proof when the posts are often deleted, because they are ageist

But Hags is a good book about this phenomenon

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Headsett · 02/11/2023 13:58

Seen that we're making sweeping generalised statements- some older women treat young women with utter contempt, especially at work.

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pumpkinpiee · 02/11/2023 14:03

I really don’t think it’s helpful to make such sweeping statements. Although true in some cases it’s probably more to do with the outdated opinions of some older women. From speaking to my MIL who was born in the 50s for example, attitudes towards many topics have changed significantly. She insists that she holds the same viewpoints as all her friends and anyone who disagrees is ‘woke’

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Minfilia · 02/11/2023 14:04

Do they? 🤷‍♀️

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Blackcatowner44 · 02/11/2023 14:05

This isn't my experience, sorry 🤷🏽‍♀️
Perhaps it's the specific young women you mix with?

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pointythings · 02/11/2023 14:07

I'm not seeing hatred for older women, and I'm surrounded with younger women where I work. I agree we're nowhere near equality, but a lot of that is down to men and their expectations of what women should be. And too many women of all ages go along with it.

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lljkk · 02/11/2023 14:07

OFS

Why do young women hate older women so much?
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KeepJoggingOn · 02/11/2023 14:10

Women are trying to stretch themselves beyond all reasonable capabilities thanks to the equality movement. Yes we can earn the big bucks, do jobs originally designated to men, but we're still also responsible for shouldering most of the unpaid work and caring duties. A lot of men clock off work,.that's them done.
Maybe the younger women resent us for being the idiots who work themselves into the ground trying to fulfil two full time jobs leaving no time for ourselves whilst pretending to enjoy it?

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PearlClutzsche · 02/11/2023 14:13

As a younger woman, I didn't hate older women; now, as an older woman (mid 50's) I haven't encountered any hatred from anyone.

Not sure where you're getting this from.

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Precipice · 02/11/2023 14:17

Women are trying to stretch themselves beyond all reasonable capabilities thanks to the equality movement.

What nonsense. If women are stretching themselves too far on the so-called 'double shift', that's not the fault of women's rights activists who fought for greater rights and opportunities for women. That's the fault of the patriarchal system and the 'movement' that tells men it's fine to leave this work to women.

Women have always worked. In the past, there was a greater chance that the woman, while still working long hours, could access only certain lower-paid jobs since the better career jobs were reserved for men, got paid much less for equivalent work, had the money she earned legally controlled by her husband rather than her. She worked even more to the bone, since working conditions as a whole were much worse. These are improvements that have been brought about, by what you sneeringly call the 'equality movement'.

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Thehumiliatedfish · 02/11/2023 14:18

Anyone who refuses to accept this behaviour exists has clearly never heard of the term 'Karen' before. Middle aged women are not allowed to complain.

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JustAMinutePleass · 02/11/2023 14:18

I think people in general often have a set of characteristics they value in a person and if you don’t meet them they don’t truly respect you - ie their inate biases. For example I’m in my 40s, overweight, don’t wear designer clothes or drive an expensive car, and many of the wealthy mums at DS’ school don’t want to know me to the point where they discover I’m just as wealthy as them. That kind of behaviour isn’t really age dependant.

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KStockHERO · 02/11/2023 14:19

KeepJoggingOn · 02/11/2023 14:10

Women are trying to stretch themselves beyond all reasonable capabilities thanks to the equality movement. Yes we can earn the big bucks, do jobs originally designated to men, but we're still also responsible for shouldering most of the unpaid work and caring duties. A lot of men clock off work,.that's them done.
Maybe the younger women resent us for being the idiots who work themselves into the ground trying to fulfil two full time jobs leaving no time for ourselves whilst pretending to enjoy it?

That's interesting. I guess it depends what group of older women you're talking about. I see quite the opposite happening - hatred towards older women because they get to a point in life where they refuse to shoulder the burdens and bullshit any more. This isn't just from younger women, but from all sorts of different groups and for different reasons. But I guess that's the case if you're looking at older women who're at this point and take this attitude.

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Precipice · 02/11/2023 14:20

Somanycats · 02/11/2023 13:57

Absolutely womens right are going backwards in the west. You've paid your dues. If young women vote for policies that are in their own worst interests, there is little you can do.

At what age do you think women should just shrug their shoulders and accept society and cease to try to achieve any positive change? Some voters always vote against their interest, but that doesn't mean everyone should just resign themselves. The voting booth is just one place for change in a democratic society. Most changes are brought about through building a political movement and agitating for change, rather than through a change of government.

There's never a time when you've 'paid your dues'. So long as you are alive (and, I guess, functional), you are a part of society and you have responsibilities as part of society, to try to make things better as you perceive them.

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Ovaltiner · 02/11/2023 14:22

I don't know about hatred but there is certainly a disregard. I'd agree with PP re the use of the term 'Karen', which I have had to pull my own DDs up on. Proud to say one of them in term called out a friend who would not dream of being derogatory to any other group.

The term Karen REALLY annoys me. Not least because expressing this then instantly gives rise to being called one.

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AmazingSnakeHead · 02/11/2023 14:23

I don't think young women hate older women. There is that stereotype of young people (early 20s and under) thinking that older people know nothing and have outdated views, but they grow out of it and I'm not sure how much it tracks reality anyway.

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honkersbonkers38 · 02/11/2023 14:25

Never experienced this - although see a lot of ageism on MN. At work I'm much older than most of the people I work with - and the young women are great. Bright, keen, willing to share what they know, open to asking for my advice about things that I might know and they don't. They make me laugh, they teach me new things - as I do them - and they're kind and thoughtful. Why wouldn't they be?.
My DD has several good friends whom I know well - and I can see the world isn't easy for them. I have never encountered any dislike or hatred for the older generation from them.

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BitofaStramash · 02/11/2023 14:30

Sweeping generalisation and ageist.

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Westfacing · 02/11/2023 14:31

This is not granny mousse

Just said by Steph McGovern on TV - I saw only a minute or so of an item on products for curly hair, indicating it's not from the olden days.

Heaven knows what granny mousse is, as a granny I buy regular stuff!

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