Why do young women hate older women so much?

[CurlewKate]

When I was a young woman in all the excitement of feminism and equal rights campaigning, I thought that by now most of the battles would be fought and won. That our daughters and granddaughters would carry on the fight, and society would be well on the way to equality. But in reality legislation has changed but attitudes are lagging far behind. Far too many men are still stuck in the age of dinosaurs and despise women as much as they ever did. And even worse, many young women seem to regard older women with the same hatred, contempt or indifference. There seems to be little sense of building on what has gone before-depressingly in some ways things have gone backwards. What can we do?

I don't see this much in my circle of friends - a lot of who are young women.
I also don't see hatred towards women; I'm a man and have many male friends, all of who value and respect women.

Some real sweeping generalisations in this post!

I think it’s deeply embedded in our popular culture. Teen shows are predicated on the idea that parents don’t understand teens. We shove our dc into age defined class groupings. Loads of movies and sitcoms that celebrate alternative “families” of friends groups.
The nuclear family has broken down familial networks and cross generational interdependence.
Historically, the genocidal burning of women falsely accused of witchcraft, resulted in mothers tightly policing their daughters morals and behaviours - overtime torture, mutilation and execution gave way to institutionalisation but the consequences of free thinking have only been lifted in the last half century.
We’ve had successive generations of women carving out new rights and freedoms, each pushing harder than the last generation could and each older generation fearing that the new wave could undo it all.
Medical meddling in childbirth and childcare disrupted breastfeeding for two generations so instead of learning from our mums we learn from peers, specialists and volunteers. The traditional help that granny’s give isn’t possible when we’re all working full time.
Women are encouraged to look down on traditional women’s labour and our financial safety lies in acting like men. Traditional women’s roles are still underpaid and undervalued.
And getting older, is dangerous for women in a way that it isn’t for men. There is enormous privilege in appearing youthful and thin - but it’s hard to recognise privilege until you no longer have it.
It takes real effort to maintain good relationships under all of these strains (and they’re only the ones off the top of my head)

Yes, of course middle aged women are subject to sexism. Women of any and every age are.

But it's not my experience that's it's particularly or recently prevalent from younger towards older women.

Happy to hear other experiences, but the statements in the OP were pretty rigid, and describing an absolute and unequivocal state of affairs that I don't recognise.

I find it’s the opposite, especially on here.

Every other week there seems to be a new thread bitching about other women - how they act, what they wear, their parenting etc and it’s always aimed at younger women.

I'm an older woman (sixties) and young women are lovely to me. More so now than when I was young. My daughter's friends (twenties) are always very friendly and love having a laugh with me.

Not my experience at all

There is definitely ageism or dislike for older women at play at my work. Older men ( who head up the departments) seem to give accolades/ promotions to the younger women ignoring or passing over the older women who have a lot more experience and qualifications.

I’m a millennial and I have a degree and good job, as does my husband.

We can’t afford a decent house because we’ve never inherited money. Saving has been tough due to impossible rent prices.

Women in previous generations in the UK often walked out of school, got jobs right away, married and walked into roomy three bed homes which they paid off fairly easily over a period which allowed for some retirement.

I think this is where the resentment comes from. I was told things would be amazing for me financially and I’d be better off than my parents if I worked hard. Didn’t happen.

All that and I still have to put up with men ogling my bum.

I’ve not noticed any hatred towards older women from young women, I’m 33, so maybe not what people consider that young, but I have work friends who are in their 50s and 60s and we all get on really well.

I think the Karen thing is definitely sexist though, I work in a public facing role and by far the most entitled, rude and difficult patients (towards me as a woman) are middle aged/elderly men not women. Most middle aged/elderly women in my experience are very lovely and grateful, with men it’s a very mixed bag, some are lovely, most are okay, but a significant minority are grumpy, rude, entitled and patronising.

I haven't noticed this at all and have only ever looked up to older women. Unless they were trying to act like men, or queen bee types or "We just got on with being groped in my day and didn't complain" types.

Does Ageism exist? Yes

just look at people views of 'teen mams' and 'grumpy old men'... some of it stereotypes but some of it is based in fact.

People in general do become less tolerant of idealistic views and more grounded in reality... this seemingly more grumpy to youth where as the youth seem more living in a fantasy world to their elders.

A 15 who insists they are going to change the world and their parents just didn't try hard enough is annoyed they are being believed.

While at the same time their parents have been there, done all that and know for all their hard work it changed fuck all and off the millions of of teens with a 'big world changing' dream about 1% will reach that.

Its because we change throughout life and aren't in the same chapter of reality.

Never found this. I tend to get on very well with young women. Mind you, I feel kind and motherly towards young people in general.

There is a lot of disregard for middle aged and older women. Even here on MN, which really surprised me. I point it out when I can be bothered, but often I just shrug and know the same will come to the people insulting me & my age group in good time.
And I now hate my own name since it started being used as a slur against me and women my age.

I disagree agree, if anything it is the other way round, older women hating the younger ones.

I experienced a bit of this when I was still working, a couple of younger women (not all) regarded myself and a couple of older colleagues as dinosaurs. It got so bad at one point I was going to report one of them to HR. We were working in a setting where accuracy was paramount and mine was 100% on audit with an ok output, always good performance reviews. I was told her accuracy wasn’t all that but she got thru loads of work, rushing basically . Queue endless digs in meetings about slowness etc, digs about technology etc. it really should have been stamped out by management but it wasn’t

Women in previous generations in the UK often walked out of school, got jobs right away, married and walked into roomy three bed homes which they paid off fairly easily over a period which allowed for some retirement.

Of course it really was that easy - you KNOW all that happened to previous generations.

Every generation has its difficulties and challenges.

Yes, we are not allowed to voice any opinion anymore - if we do we get laughed at and labelled a ‘Karen’. I notice there isn’t an equivalent name for men by the way.

Well that doesn’t ring true to me at all. Im
mid 40’s and have had to work for everything I’ve got. I had to pay off my student loan and still have a sizeable mortgage. I earn more than my husband and don’t have an inheritance. I’m not alone in my peer group in respect of my circumstances either. So it appears your resentment of me is miss placed.

Me neither.

We're not having it all, were doing it all

Shot ourselves in the foot

👆 Add children, childcare costs and no village in there and this just about sums up the reality for millennial women. No wonder we're angry.

What are you referring to specifically? I've never seen this in real life, but I have seen tiktok hate against 'boomers'. It's starting against Millennials now as well. Personally I hate labels like that. People will say anything for a click.

Honestly I find this post hypocritical. The lack of progress or how far things have moved backwards isn't our fault. I don't find this kind of talk helpful at all.

What are you basing this on?

I wonder what campaigning activities you take part in now @CurlewKate because when I join marches or take part in protests now I am absolutely surrounded by women of all ages.

I saw Greta Thurnberg speak to a massive crowd in Bristol and lead a march through the streets. Not a feminist rally I give you, but still the raging power of womens' voice being heard. Many thousands of women from school girls to oldies like me - all totally on fire. No judgement about age, just women giving 'em hell in the modern world and glad other women were there whatever their age.

On a feminist march in Bristol - the crowd (in the photo) was all ages, three generations shoulder to shoulder storming through the city centre.

If you are out there with them, you will have seen they are there in number and just as spitting angry as we were in the 70s.

If you're not there then I wonder if the young women are wondering why not?

I don't see hatred towards older women. Not sure where your feelings on this are coming from?