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Matthew Perry has died

486 replies

catnipevergreen · 29/10/2023 01:48

I'm absolutely devasted if this is true

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LeonBlack · 29/10/2023 14:45

My son is 21 and at uni. I’m fairly sure he’s never seen an episode of Friends in his life. But he’s just sent me a text that said ‘So sad about Matthew Perry’.

I was surprised it even registered with him, but it shows you the pervasiveness of celebrity.

Longma · 29/10/2023 14:57

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This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines. at the request of it's author.

lemmein · 29/10/2023 14:58

LeonBlack · 29/10/2023 14:45

My son is 21 and at uni. I’m fairly sure he’s never seen an episode of Friends in his life. But he’s just sent me a text that said ‘So sad about Matthew Perry’.

I was surprised it even registered with him, but it shows you the pervasiveness of celebrity.

Id be surprised if he's never seen an episode. My DDs are a few years older and are obsessed with it - my eldest went to the FriendsFest a few years ago with a large mixed group of 20 somethings, it's very popular amongst their peers.

He was also in 17Again with Zac Efron who was/is huge amongst for that age group so I suppose many from that gen would know him from that too.

Even my 6 year old grandson sings the Friends theme tune - though that's his mums influence.

MolyHacaroni · 29/10/2023 14:59

Aww Chandler was my favourite Friends character by far! Sadly, I can't say that I'm shocked Matthew Perry has died and by something as questionable as drowning in his jacuzzi. How? Slept off? Drunk? Something else? I wonder...

I'm sure his co-stars and friends must be devasted. He struggled a lot with too much for so long. Hopefully, he's at rest now.

RIP Matthew Perry for giving me lots of laughs and being the main reason I enjoyed Friends.

Longma · 29/10/2023 15:00

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines. at the request of it's author.

LeonBlack · 29/10/2023 15:01

lemmein · 29/10/2023 14:58

Id be surprised if he's never seen an episode. My DDs are a few years older and are obsessed with it - my eldest went to the FriendsFest a few years ago with a large mixed group of 20 somethings, it's very popular amongst their peers.

He was also in 17Again with Zac Efron who was/is huge amongst for that age group so I suppose many from that gen would know him from that too.

Even my 6 year old grandson sings the Friends theme tune - though that's his mums influence.

Think it’s more ‘girly’ tbh. My 2 god daughters who are 25 and 22, love Friends. I don’t know any young men who’d be interested.

lemmein · 29/10/2023 15:12

Think it’s more ‘girly’ tbh. My 2 god daughters who are 25 and 22, love Friends. I don’t know any young men who’d be interested.

@LeonBlack maybe...it was a mixed group that went to the Fest, though maybe the boys just went along to accompany the girls - like they all dutifully wore pink to see Barbie together Grin

DeeCee77 · 29/10/2023 15:15

lemmein · 29/10/2023 14:58

Id be surprised if he's never seen an episode. My DDs are a few years older and are obsessed with it - my eldest went to the FriendsFest a few years ago with a large mixed group of 20 somethings, it's very popular amongst their peers.

He was also in 17Again with Zac Efron who was/is huge amongst for that age group so I suppose many from that gen would know him from that too.

Even my 6 year old grandson sings the Friends theme tune - though that's his mums influence.

Absolutely, its repeated all the time. It's a genuine cultural behemoth.

Never really watched it myself but he was definitely very witty. RIP Matthew.

Legendairy · 29/10/2023 15:23

LeonBlack · 29/10/2023 15:01

Think it’s more ‘girly’ tbh. My 2 god daughters who are 25 and 22, love Friends. I don’t know any young men who’d be interested.

My 17 and 15 yo boys have both seen all the episodes of Friends. I wouldn't have said it's girly. My ex BF introduced me to it, it was certainly popular with teen/young men when it came out also

OldTinHat · 29/10/2023 15:26

No! I always fancied the pants off him. No age to die.

mathanxiety · 29/10/2023 15:28

@Antst
I think in some ways your posts tip too far into the personal responsibility column. You should take into account the criminality of the Sackler organisation, which promoted painkillers without regard to the damage they knew they were doing, and the venality of many in the medical profession, who took the incentives and became part of a very evil business.

For every addict there's a pusher. For every addiction, there's a weakness or pain the addict is trying to heal. Yes, there are better ways to heal a weakness or deal with pain and hurt, and let's face it, with mental illness they maybe don't think they have.

In the case of painkillers, some of the pushers wore white coats. It has burgeoning from there, of course, but back in the inception of the painkiller epidemic, people trusted doctors more than they should have.

There are girls and boys my children grew up with in a comfortable middle class suburb in the US who were prescribed painkillers when they suffered injuries playing sports - torn achilles tendons, MCL injuries, broken collar bones, shattered ankles, etc. Some lived to tell the tale. Some did not. Some are living subsequent lives that are a shadow of what their lives could have been.

These kids didn't drive to the nearby open air drug markets in tbe run down part of the city next door. They went to expert doctors. They took the medication they were prescribed. Then for some it all went horribly wrong, for reasons that in my observation included sheer chance.

thevegetablesoup · 29/10/2023 15:35

mathanxiety · 29/10/2023 15:28

@Antst
I think in some ways your posts tip too far into the personal responsibility column. You should take into account the criminality of the Sackler organisation, which promoted painkillers without regard to the damage they knew they were doing, and the venality of many in the medical profession, who took the incentives and became part of a very evil business.

For every addict there's a pusher. For every addiction, there's a weakness or pain the addict is trying to heal. Yes, there are better ways to heal a weakness or deal with pain and hurt, and let's face it, with mental illness they maybe don't think they have.

In the case of painkillers, some of the pushers wore white coats. It has burgeoning from there, of course, but back in the inception of the painkiller epidemic, people trusted doctors more than they should have.

There are girls and boys my children grew up with in a comfortable middle class suburb in the US who were prescribed painkillers when they suffered injuries playing sports - torn achilles tendons, MCL injuries, broken collar bones, shattered ankles, etc. Some lived to tell the tale. Some did not. Some are living subsequent lives that are a shadow of what their lives could have been.

These kids didn't drive to the nearby open air drug markets in tbe run down part of the city next door. They went to expert doctors. They took the medication they were prescribed. Then for some it all went horribly wrong, for reasons that in my observation included sheer chance.

Yes, I highly recommend the book Empire of Pain by Patrick Radden Keefe to develop an understanding of the Sacklers and the opioid crisis.

AnotherBritInTheUSA · 29/10/2023 15:43

Such an excellent post from @mathanxiety

decionsdecisions62 · 29/10/2023 15:51

In terms of OxyContin I remember I worked in a private hospital. I had been on maternity leave. Around 2005. I came back to discover everyone on this medication. It was being given out like smarties, pushed by drugs reps onto medics. Then suddenly the Sacklers were being investigated and the stuff was gone. Lives were probably changed for the worse during that time.

Antst · 29/10/2023 16:11

mathanxiety · 29/10/2023 15:28

@Antst
I think in some ways your posts tip too far into the personal responsibility column. You should take into account the criminality of the Sackler organisation, which promoted painkillers without regard to the damage they knew they were doing, and the venality of many in the medical profession, who took the incentives and became part of a very evil business.

For every addict there's a pusher. For every addiction, there's a weakness or pain the addict is trying to heal. Yes, there are better ways to heal a weakness or deal with pain and hurt, and let's face it, with mental illness they maybe don't think they have.

In the case of painkillers, some of the pushers wore white coats. It has burgeoning from there, of course, but back in the inception of the painkiller epidemic, people trusted doctors more than they should have.

There are girls and boys my children grew up with in a comfortable middle class suburb in the US who were prescribed painkillers when they suffered injuries playing sports - torn achilles tendons, MCL injuries, broken collar bones, shattered ankles, etc. Some lived to tell the tale. Some did not. Some are living subsequent lives that are a shadow of what their lives could have been.

These kids didn't drive to the nearby open air drug markets in tbe run down part of the city next door. They went to expert doctors. They took the medication they were prescribed. Then for some it all went horribly wrong, for reasons that in my observation included sheer chance.

I didn't make it clear in my previous posts, but I do account for the likes of the Sacklers and the general culture surrounding drugs in the US. I have dual citizenship and lived there for years during my teens and twenties. I have a cough from asthma and used to get mild headaches from hayfever, and friends' parent would routinely open up medicine cabinets that looked like pharmacies and offer Vicodin and other serious painkillers. When I had ovarian cysts, I couldn't afford to get them treated even with "good" health insurance, but was offered free opiates (which I didn't take).

What I'm saying is that in spite of people like the Sacklers (and although they get most of the blame, many others are also responsible), people in my world (like Matthew Perry) knew very well the dangers of prescription medication. It's possible to hold the Sacklers and others responsible while also looking at incredibly privileged people like Matthew Perry and putting responsibility on them.

I know so many families (including my own) that have been ruined by addicts. I have seen for myself how people achieve helpless addiction by making choice after choice. You are not helping by painting these people as helpless. They are not.

Matthew Perry was a nepo baby who for me epitomizes the reason there's such a focus now on diversity. People like him (wealthy, connected) used to be given every opportunity even when they refused to show up for work unimpaired. Like I said, I understand that people are sad because he's who they had when they were young. Even so, I can't mourn him. He represents an era that needs to be over.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 29/10/2023 16:37

LeonBlack · 29/10/2023 15:01

Think it’s more ‘girly’ tbh. My 2 god daughters who are 25 and 22, love Friends. I don’t know any young men who’d be interested.

Not true, ds and his mates love Friends and have done since they were teens,they're in their 20s now. My dad has always liked it and he's in his 80s.

mathanxiety · 29/10/2023 17:20

@Antst
Even privileged people can suffer pain, insecurity, depression and other mental health problems that go unaddressed.

I see the link you're suggesting between the assumption of immortality/ Teflon coating on the part of fairly privileged white teens in the US and the risk-taking some engage in. Yes, there are young people who think nothing can touch them. Some are correct inntheir blithe assumption; life is unfair like that. Some realise their mistake and are brought down to earth. Some are not afforded the luxury of time in which to regret.

I'd see binge drinking and heavy drinking across the US and UK and Ireland in a similar light, and it's not necessarily privileged people who engage in that culture, though it's very much a thing at many US universities. Some people take risks and have a cavalier approach to their health and wellbeing. I'd hazard a guess that deep down, they're all trying to drown some sorrow or paper over some problem they don't want to or can't deal with head-on.

There but for the grace of god...

Antst · 29/10/2023 17:46

mathanxiety · 29/10/2023 17:20

@Antst
Even privileged people can suffer pain, insecurity, depression and other mental health problems that go unaddressed.

I see the link you're suggesting between the assumption of immortality/ Teflon coating on the part of fairly privileged white teens in the US and the risk-taking some engage in. Yes, there are young people who think nothing can touch them. Some are correct inntheir blithe assumption; life is unfair like that. Some realise their mistake and are brought down to earth. Some are not afforded the luxury of time in which to regret.

I'd see binge drinking and heavy drinking across the US and UK and Ireland in a similar light, and it's not necessarily privileged people who engage in that culture, though it's very much a thing at many US universities. Some people take risks and have a cavalier approach to their health and wellbeing. I'd hazard a guess that deep down, they're all trying to drown some sorrow or paper over some problem they don't want to or can't deal with head-on.

There but for the grace of god...

It's a relatively new thing in the UK to hear people say that even privileged people can suffer. As I said in another post, I find that attitudes towards addiction and mental health are a long way behind. In the US, there has been awareness of depression and addiction for much longer. It's not news that even the privileged have problems.

What I'm saying (and it's also not new in the US) is that there's a point where it's impossible not to notice that someone who has access to every possible resource has chosen nothing but self indulgence and infliction of pain on loved ones.

I don't think at all that privileged people like Matthew Perry assume they're Teflon. It's that they don't think anything. They choose to do nothing but indulge themselves. There's no such thing as being brought back down to Earth when there's never a shortage of money for rehab or housing or a break from work.

That's the part that's so striking about these people for me. A total lack of interest of awareness in anything. Yet until the pandemic when the Black Lives Matter movement took off, they were the ones who got every opportunity.

I do think you're right that there's a similar phenomenon in the UK among people who binge-drink. There's just not a lot going on for people who do it. For most though, there aren't the opportunities and resources that Matthew Perry had.

porridgeisbae · 29/10/2023 18:54

I know so many families (including my own) that have been ruined by addicts. I have seen for myself how people achieve helpless addiction by making choice after choice. You are not helping by painting these people as helpless. They are not.

I think there's a difference between, for instance, Amy Winehouse who tended to just walk out of treatment after a few days (though her death was tragic enough) and this bloke who by all accounts really tried to get well and spent a large amount of money on it.

What I'm saying (and it's also not new in the US) is that there's a point where it's impossible not to notice that someone who has access to every possible resource has chosen nothing but self indulgence and infliction of pain on loved ones.

It's blatantly false that he didn't chose to get help to a significant extent.

That's the part that's so striking about these people for me. A total lack of interest of awareness in anything.

PP's posted to the rehab facility or whatever that he founded. Maybe he was mostly into that but most people have their particular causes that they're interested in, often partly due to personal experience.

I didn't know the bloke, thought Friends was bland and don't know how it wasn't just forgotten soon after it stopped airing. But I can acknowledge the fact that he did try and work on his issues.

porridgeisbae · 29/10/2023 18:59

It's a relatively new thing in the UK to hear people say that even privileged people can suffer.

IDK I mean it's a truism, isn't it? We've all seen these wealthy people die of drugs or suicide. We've seen that very openly since the age of television or something. Of course it was happening before then, too.

YogaLite · 29/10/2023 19:01

@MolyHacaroni, yes, you can pass out in the jacuzzi (or sauna for that matter). I nearly did and it was a scary experience and I didn't see it coming.

Your blood pressure drops after a long stay in a jacuzzi and you start feeling faint/drowsy and you can pass out and slip in.

I came v close to it twice and it scared me so much I now avoid staying in for more than a few minutes. There is a good reason why there are warnings not to overstay however tempting and pleasant it feels.

Graphista · 29/10/2023 19:01

I wonder if the other friends are preparing a joint statement.

I think that's quite likely they tend to be united in certain circumstances.

@Antst you're doing a horrific job of reading the room. Have your personal opinion by all means, but frankly this is neither the time or the place to share your clearly biased stance on this.

You of course must be perfect and NEVER have made a poor choice in your life Hmm

EachandEveryone · 29/10/2023 19:06

Ive just watched the one with the proposal. I cant believe I havent seen that one before. Gosh I blubbed at the end. He was such a lost soul.

i expect they are devasted. Probably been through alot with him, more than we will ever know. I lost my own good friend afew weeks ago under very similar circumstances and the same age and tbh alot of his friends just didnt get intouch with him anymore as you never knew what you would get from him☹️

crumblingschools · 29/10/2023 19:11

@YogaLite I have low blood pressure so have always avoided saunas and only spend short time in jacuzzis as never feel well in them

Antst · 29/10/2023 19:15

Graphista · 29/10/2023 19:01

I wonder if the other friends are preparing a joint statement.

I think that's quite likely they tend to be united in certain circumstances.

@Antst you're doing a horrific job of reading the room. Have your personal opinion by all means, but frankly this is neither the time or the place to share your clearly biased stance on this.

You of course must be perfect and NEVER have made a poor choice in your life Hmm

Sorry, but you don't get to police a public forum. Everyone is allowed to share a view. Friends was huge and it meant different things to different people.

Addiction is what Matthew Perry was about. It was not at all "a poor choice" but who he was. Every news report focuses on its central role in his life. Not sure what you think "bias" is but it's not relevant here. If you only want to share positive views about him, why not try a fan site?