Tell me your backhanded compliments from children

[MysticMary]

Inspired by DD (age 3) just asking me "mummy, why are your boobs so long?"
😂

Well, mine is more of a straight out insult than any kind of compliment. I have also had the classic "your tummy is so lovely and squashy" though!

My autistic child likes my squishy tummy, so from him it's a compliment but you know, an arrow to the heart at the same time 🤣

One Boxing Day I got myself a sale coat and matching hat... With a fur (fake) trim. Ds declared I looked like a lovely sheep! Never did wear the hat...

A couple of years ago, I got new glasses. Shortly after, DD1 was looking at a picture in the paper. "Wow, that looks EXACTLY like Mummy with her smart new glasses!"

I looked. It was Kim Jong-Un.

I’d spritzed myself with my Diorissimo one break time in my classroom before kids came back in. One boy strolled in and sniffed up. He turned to me smiling and said ‘Corr Miss, I can smell fly spray’ 🙄

On my new striped trousers.

mummy, you look lovely. Just like a big, fat, clown.

cheers.

‘Mummy your hair is going so white because you are old’ said with a tone of love and admiration from my 6 year old.

I've never noticed you have a moustache before, it's pretty and suits you mummy

🥸

@JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff

That is one of the funniest things I've ever read

My son insists I'm the strongest in the house because I'm the fattest....

"Mummy, I do like your little mustache, it's so pretty"

"Mummy, what are these lovely shiny bits on your tummy?" (Stretch marks, thanks pet)

"Mummy you're not really fat you're just kind of like a big jelly baby"

My then 3 year old daughter. "It's good you have a big bottom Mummy. If there was a lion coming you could block the door with your bottom and keep me safe"
Also my daughter "Mummy I love your face its so interesting because of the wrinkles"

Somehow she made it to 10.

My son age 4 "oh mummy I just love that there is so much of you I can cuddle"

@JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff I just snorted laughing at that!

And the lady with the big bottom that can block doorways, saving children from lion attacks!

My daughter once said I have a long pointy nose like a witch, that's my only contribution so far

I am fucking dying at these 😂 I had my niece for a sleepover and she told me I’d make a ‘very lovely scarecrow’ when I’d just woken up 🤣

You look like a princess mummy! I mean a witch. You look like a witch!

DD loves the skin tags on my neck: “They’re so warty, like a witch.” She crawls into my lap and asks to flick them, for a treat.

Ds when small used to tell me he loved my wobbly bits.

But my favourite of all time was dd2.
She must have been about 4 when she commented that people didn't look as pretty when they got older. So I asked her what she meant, and she said that our next door neighbour had crinkles round her eyes. I pointed out that our neighbour was 89 at the time, and she replied "well, mummy, yours are already starting..."
We did have a talk about tact after I'd managed to swallow my laughter.

From my grandson (10) after some discussion about something
He said, with puzzlement and almost consternation, "you can be quite clever, sometimes, can't you?"

Pupil during dinosaur topic-
Miss, can you bring in your loincloth and club from the dinosaur times?....... Ehmmmm

I am losing weight, my 7 year old - your tummy isn't as wobbly and big now. Cheers pal

My 14 year old told me that my style wasn't as bad as some of the other Mum's, and at least I didn't try and be fashionable. Cheers luv!

A child in my class.

I like your top because it reminds me of my swimming costume.

My eldest when she was about 3 or 4:

"You look lovely today Mummy. Not like yesterday" 😂

I briefly took my glasses off at school for some reason. One of my class piped up with “Oh, Miss Cabbage, you are actually really pretty without your glasses”.
Child in question was 15, and then very embarrassed and apologetic when she realised how it had sounded.

I remember my mum really laughing sat on a coach, when a young kid felt her somewhat chubby knee and said ooh fresh bread 😂

my son said loudly in a bank queue - he was 3 ish - I love your legs mummy they’re as furry as a zebras 😂

Haha, this thread is great!

Not a back-handed compliment, just a blunt observation: I was babysitting a little boy of about 4 and when supervising tooth brushing I told him he'd make them all lovely sparkly white. He looked up at me and said 'Yours aren't' to which I quickly replied 'That's because I didn't brush them very well when I was a little girl'.

I went and got them whitened after that. Now they look Ross' in that episode of Friends.