Tell me your backhanded compliments from children

[MysticMary]

Inspired by DD (age 3) just asking me "mummy, why are your boobs so long?"
😂

In a cubicle in packed public toilets with my 3 year old DD:

”MUMMY, WHY IS YOUR MINKY SO FLUFFY?”

"You're so big and fat and good for the huggin"

My 4 year old once said she loved my squishy tummy as it was 'just like a pillow'. 😂

8yr old nephew, first thing in the morning: "Cool! Your hair has gone mad. Did it have a bad dream?"

The three year old "Mummy, you're fat".
I screwed my face up and pretented to cry at which point she added "but you're daaarrllinnnggg"!

My daughter said it was cool how my bum jiggles by itself for a few seconds (after she bumped into it once) (age 7) 🥲

And another from ds, although not at me.

He'd done a holiday club when he was 4yo and when I picked him up, he was normally standing my his leader, who was a young chap called Andy, looking at him adoringly.
On the way home he said: "When I grow up, I want to be just like Andy."
I had time to think how lovely that he'd found someone to look up to as a role model when he continued: "He has such lovely hairy arms and legs."

Was told last week that I was in my "second prime" and that same child was surprised I was the same age as his mum because I was "wise".

I'm 32 and a secondary school teacher. This child is in Y10.

"Mammy it looks like there's a baby in your tummy but it's just lots of food.. but that's ok you still look like beautiful Princess as some princesses have big tummies"

And once when I hadn't put my make up.. "mam you look different..like a man.. but beautiful man"...

“Wow I love your watch! It’s not like any adult watch I’ve ever seen!”

friends son, 10. It actually is a child’s watch but I thought I was getting away with it 😂

DS, on receiving his pocket money:

"Mum, did you get groats from Granny when you were little?"

My then 3 year old said she loves my jelly belly,now 11 is brutally blunt ,came in bathroom the other day while I was in the bath and told me I needed to shave 😱

DS when in reception adored his teacher and was always telling me about her eyelashes and all sorts of things wonderful. She used to wear her hair in a plait.
one day I plaited my hair; DS in a tone of admiration-oh mummy, if you tried a bit harder you could be almost as pretty as Miss Jones!

My niece (3) to my mum: "granny I love having a bath at your house, your towels are lovely and scratchy" 😁

Not about me but whenever I've cleaned the house because we have people round my 4 year old says 'wow it's so clean in here' or 'who cleaned up in here'.

Oh my god I can't stop laughing 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Me "I'm so sad I've broken my slytherin mug."
DS "You'd never have been in slytherin - you'd have been in ravenclaw!"

Ds aged 5 said i have a cool gold tooth just like a pirate.
I actually take massive pride in my teeth and they are pretty nice and quite white, but one incisor is ever ever so slightly yellow when compared to my other very white teeth. When we got back home I was frantically brushing my teeth with stain removing toothpaste and I've whitened them a few times since but I'm now really self conscious of it when I hadn't even noticed before! Lol
also all the standard wobbly tummy, jiggly bum comments etc that somehow don't both me as much.

”Mum you should so go on Bake Off. Or Nailed it”

On wearing a new red knitted dress for the first time:

”Mummy you look so lovely, just like old Mother Christmas”

Mummy, you have a huge bum but it's cute. Ok, I added cute to make you feel better - Mini Toto aged 5.

Haha so funny

DS after reading a space book around age 4:

'Mummy, your eyes are pretty like ur-anus'

He realised he'd said something wrong and hastily corrected himself.

'No!No! I mean pretty like urine.'

In my Mother's Day card ' you always think of fun things for us to do , apart from when there is a power cut , you're quite boring then '

Trying on a top in Phase Eight - ‘mummy you look like a princess from behind and a Jedi from the front’.