Tell me your backhanded compliments from children

[MysticMary]

Inspired by DD (age 3) just asking me "mummy, why are your boobs so long?"
😂

When I was a teenager my little cousin told me she loved how red and shiny my spots were and that she loved counting all the new ones.

Oh I think this is my favourite!😂

DS- " love it when you make your own bread... because I just really love chewing"

He also insists that I am just so beautiful with my glasses on... and then makes a 🤮 face when I take them off and reveal... my actual face!

After buying a very expensive perfume my then 3yr old told me ‘ you smell lovely but you don’t smell like my mother!’, every time I wore it she complained!

Two from my daughter:

"You're not fat, just chubby like a cute baby."
"You're not pretty but it doesn't matter, people still like you."

Thanks kid! Good job I'm thick skinned

Feeling funky in new dungarees
Excited "you look like an Oompa Loompa"

DS, 15 at the time, and interested in theatre, which he knows I worked in briefly before I had him. He was talking about possible careers on the technical side and I mentioned something about working in sound and got a very disparaging "Oh you wouldnt understand, its far more complicated than people think". So I said "Well I did the sound for a couple of productions some years ago, and it is complex but I really enjoyed it so it might be worth thinking about". I got an amazed "What? YOU?!" in disbelief at the thought that this thick old woman could possibly know anything!

He has just turned 18 and is mostly human again, there were days when, never mind his 18th, he was lucky to see his next sunrise!

Oh god - I laughed out loud at this one!

That my beard was all lovely and soft and not spoken like grandpa's!

Also got my boobs renamed pillows because they are so squashy.

My then 5yo told me I looked like a green troll in a dress I was trying on.
I returned it.
To this day (he is 17 now) he tells me that it was meant to be a compliment as he liked green trolls.

I remember in my early 20s when a friend's little fella told me my hair looked like a witch but the rest of me looked like a giraffe. And he thought this was the nicest compliment 😜

Back when I was a childminder, I was putting a child into the car seat. As I was strapping him in, he touched my hair and said "hurdygurdy, you've got lovely hair". Beaming, I said thank you, and that he had lovely hair too. He then said "hurdygurdy, you've got lovely eyes". I said thank you, and that he had lovely eyes too.

I was really feeling the love, and mentally preening myself

Then came the kicker
"Hurdygurdy . . ."
Yes, Johnny
"you've got all black hair up your nose"

I invested in a nose hair trimmer that afternoon 😂

Teaching a class and we were talking about how we are all different shapes and sizes.

Child: yes Miss X is tall and slim and you're [long pause] not.

These have cheered me go.

DS when I raised my armpits and clearly had some stubble “why do you have a arm beard? Can I have an arm beard?”

4yo dd asked if she could sellotape a halloween decoration to my ginormous ear about 30 mins ago

Ds2, aged 4

DS: mummy you’re lovely and skinny
me: aw, that’s very sweet but I’m not skinny, I’m fat
DS: no, you have lots of skin

I love these 🤣🤣.

i said to my DS aged about 3 that his hair smelt like angels (trying to big up the benefits of a hair wash as he wasn’t keen). He took a big sniff of my hair and said “mmmm… and your hair smells like… shepherds!”. It was shortly after Christmas 🤦🏻‍♀️.

DD 18.
I'm dressed to go out. "You wearing that?" "I'm just saying, it's a big funny on you".

About 5 years ago DD saw wizard of oz for the first time and pipes up: “oh I bet you were thrilled when colour tv came”

I’m 41!

Your arms are like an anti stress toy

🤔

Aka squishy

Brilliant! By his definition, I’m really skinny too! 😂

"You used to be cool".

<sigh> I did used to be cool.

My DGD who was 4 at the time was absentmindedly stroking the back of my hand whilst we were snuggled up on the sofa and I was reading her a story. Suddenly she stopped stroking my hand and looking up at me said "Granny, why does your skin look like a chicken's - you know, when it's dead!" I honestly didn't know what to say and before I could think of a reply she added "It's alright Granny - I do love dead chicken!" So, so funny bless her - that's what you get for being an older Granny I guess.

One hot summer I was wearing a v neck t shirt and my pre schooler ds said my chest looked like cheese. He didn't see the problem as he loved cheese.

Ok, on a mental health theme, home made card for Mothers Day when my daughter was about 8,

’Roses are red, Violets are blue, You look after me, I calm down you.’

Love her!