Tell me your backhanded compliments from children

[MysticMary]

Inspired by DD (age 3) just asking me "mummy, why are your boobs so long?"
😂

Looking through photos from 5 years ago - “wow you were so pretty, you look like a model! What happened that made you look like you do now?”

It’s safe to say I have already booked to get my hair cut next week and have already started my new diet and exercise regime!

Lovely yellow jumper mummy - you look just like colonel mustard

😂

I absolutely love this.

My DS3 at the time said I looked like a princess....a homemade princess, I was really flattered!
Dd when about 4 took a loooong sniff of me and said "you smell like carpet....oooh I love carpet"!😂

That’s absolutely hilarious 😂

We were having dinner with my friend who was pregnant at the time. We were telling ds that my friend has a baby in her tummy and she only had a few weeks until the baby comes out. Ds turned to me and asked mummy when is your baby coming out 😬 I wasn’t pregnant

I was trying on a dress and jokingly said to my son, "Does my bum look big in this?" He looked me up and down with a very serious expression and said, "Yes, of course it does, Mummy, it IS a big bottom."

Said quietly to herself as she was stroking my forearm "ooh lovely, lovely and soft...and very long...and so hairy..like a spider monkey! Lovely long spider monkey arm"

When I was picking her up from nursery "ooh you're wearing my favourite top, makes you look like nanny's teatowel"

Apparently I asked my lovely Mum (about 50 years ago ) if I would have skin hanging from my chest 😂A definite yes !!

My son told me recently that I look like a model. I was like - eh really? I have a large nose and probably quite a weird face, slight overbite. He then explained further, like those weird looking models that aren't really pretty but look different...

Thanks, son.

DD looking through my jewellery box as I was getting ready to go out. Mum can I have all your jewellery when you die? I said I wasn't planning on dying anytime soon. DD replied well you never know it could happen tonight, you're getting older. I'm 43!

DD once said to me:

"Please tell me my tits aren't going to look like yours when I'm old"

Upon trying on her homemade fancy dress costume, of a character too niche for a ready made version to be available: "Well, it isn't exactly the same, but I love it because you worked so hard on it."
Not exactly the response I was hoping for 😏

After coming home from her friends, DD said "Charlotte's Mum is nothing like you really, she's quite thin and very very elegant".
I had visions of Kate Middleton cooking their tea.

"Oh daddy, you look so handsome - like Ken!
And mummy.... you look like... like Barbie's mum..."

DD about 4. She's now 13.

DS3 -
"You must have been so excited when TVs were finally invented"

I'm 40.

My youngest: "You're not THAT fat mum" "You're not as fat as X' mum don't worry" Seeing a picture taken about 5 years ago: "Wow, you looked SO young and different"

And "everyone at school thinks you look like a witch but I like the colour black"😄

I bought some brown leather sandals and wore them with a dress. DD looked at me and said "Mummy, you look just like the smartest giant in town"

I hope you hopped all the way to town in your dear old sandals and gown 😆