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Original poster

Bedrooms are trashed. Finding it hard see pics

175 replies

Shithole101 · 27/10/2023 20:37

I have been through a really hard time which I hope is going in a better direction. I have to cope with things completely on my own with no support. Whilst supporting others . There's lots of mental health issues. Special needs. Vulnerability etc .

Anyway as I say some things are starting to get better. But the kids bedrooms are a shit hole . The kids are with their father this weekend so I'm trying to use the time to get things done. But I get tired and out of breath so quickly I get drained and don't get much done . I have just managed to do the 2 youngest kids room. I need to tidy /clean and take old bed apart in the spare room . And then put new double bed together for that room. I have to get it done tonight. Because my other son is coming over tomorrow to chat /company as he's struggling mentally so I don't want to do it whilst he's here .

So I'm drinking an energy drink in the hope it will help me stay awake till late /give me some energy

I have included pictures because I want to shame myself and motivate myself to get it done. I will add after pictures as well once done

Any ideas how the kids can keep it tidy ? In an easy to manage way. One child is autistic and forgets what he's doing. By the time he gets to his room . And then the younger one gets upset because he feels like it's on him.

OP posts:
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Original poster
Shithole101 · 28/10/2023 10:27

StrictlyJowita · 28/10/2023 10:20

Here is a screenshot of the item number. I would contact IKeA about them.

Thank you . I will try .that

OP posts:
AlwaysFreezing · 28/10/2023 10:54

If money is tight, what about some trugs? They come in various sizes and colours, so you could colour code what they're for.

Small toys, green. Dirty laundry, blue. School stuff red. Etc....

CurlyhairedAssassin · 28/10/2023 11:14

The waiting to make it look homely till after Christmas - is that due to money? Because if not, I wouldn't wait to do that. It really doesn't cost much or take much time to make it look homely and it makes such a difference to a room. I went out and bought stuff for our living room in one morning and even DH commented about how different and nice it looked when I'd put it all in place and he was moaning about having to have cushions as he thinks they're a wasteful girlie faff!

Original poster
Shithole101 · 28/10/2023 11:25

CurlyhairedAssassin · 28/10/2023 11:14

The waiting to make it look homely till after Christmas - is that due to money? Because if not, I wouldn't wait to do that. It really doesn't cost much or take much time to make it look homely and it makes such a difference to a room. I went out and bought stuff for our living room in one morning and even DH commented about how different and nice it looked when I'd put it all in place and he was moaning about having to have cushions as he thinks they're a wasteful girlie faff!

It's sort of due to money. I'm buying for Xmas at the moment. I can't afford to do both. Although it's nice to have it homely it's not really essential right now. It's the cleaning/tidying that I want to concentrate on for now. Although I will probably get the idea boxes ad I Alresford have the unit .

OP posts:
Original poster
Shithole101 · 28/10/2023 11:27

AlwaysFreezing · 28/10/2023 10:54

If money is tight, what about some trugs? They come in various sizes and colours, so you could colour code what they're for.

Small toys, green. Dirty laundry, blue. School stuff red. Etc....

I'm going to get boxes to go onto the ikea unit that I have.

OP posts:
Catsfrontbum · 28/10/2023 11:39

The second bedroom all tidied is amazing! Well done. A bit of elbow grease makes all the difference.

And I totally get wanted new things. Make a wish list and look out for the sales etc.

steppemum · 28/10/2023 11:56

Hi OP,
first of all, well done! You have done a huge tidy up and it is not a small thing. Give yourself a moment to just appreciate how much you have done.

I have an ASD child, 2 ASD nephews and a friend whose husband and son are both ASD. While I would never generalise, I would say that all of those people find it very very difficult to throw things away, so the one in and one out system really does not work. They all collect things in one way or another.

We like to have plenty of storage in the room so that there is a place for everything. Then about once a year we talk about things which could be stored out of sight. They go into the loft. I am not allowed to throw them away, (and they remember) for a very long time. Then they tend to be happier if we sell, or give to someone rather than charity shop. My dd has got a lot better at this, but the loft is full of her Sylvanians, and her bedroom is full of stuff.

I suggest 2 storage units, or one large one with 2 colour boxes on the shelves so they can clearly see whose is whose.

But again, I know that inside the box is out of sight out of mind, so my dd prefers things on shelves so she can see them. Of has transparent boxes. Her wardrobe has shelves not drawers for example, so you open the dorr and can see everything.

Talk to them. Because giving them the choice over how to store will make all the difference as to how they use them. Maybe try a few things out.

I bought kallax storage on ebay, just local pick up and they were cheap. You can often get the insert boxes cheap as well.

steppemum · 28/10/2023 11:58

One last thing over keeping it tidy.
Dd won't do it on her own, she just drifts off onto her phone.
So I go in and sit on her bed while she puts things away. It is a good chat time. I do it about once a week.
Sometimes I go in and pick up all the washing and dump it in a pile outside the door, while she picks up school books etc. So joint effort.

She also find a messy room starts to make her stressed, so if we do that once a week, then overall she is less stressed and more able to deal with things, eg homework!

Wendysfriend · 28/10/2023 12:02

You've got lots done, that's fantastic, the 2nd room looks so much bigger now. Well done, I'm off to clean the bedrooms here, you've inspired me

Almostateeagersmum2023 · 28/10/2023 12:05

Just want to give you another well done!

Original poster
Shithole101 · 28/10/2023 12:07

steppemum · 28/10/2023 11:58

One last thing over keeping it tidy.
Dd won't do it on her own, she just drifts off onto her phone.
So I go in and sit on her bed while she puts things away. It is a good chat time. I do it about once a week.
Sometimes I go in and pick up all the washing and dump it in a pile outside the door, while she picks up school books etc. So joint effort.

She also find a messy room starts to make her stressed, so if we do that once a week, then overall she is less stressed and more able to deal with things, eg homework!

My kids are not bothered about throwing stuff away . Especially the asd one he would just watch me bin the lot with no care 🤣. I'm just going to get the ikea boxes to go on the unit I already have. But to be honest thru will be empty for a bit anyway.

OP posts:
peekaboo1986 · 28/10/2023 12:10

@Shithole101 just so you are aware IKEA delivery for small items such as those boxes is a VERY reasonable price of £3.50. It is large furniture that costs £50 to deliver.

Original poster
Shithole101 · 28/10/2023 12:10

Wendysfriend · 28/10/2023 12:02

You've got lots done, that's fantastic, the 2nd room looks so much bigger now. Well done, I'm off to clean the bedrooms here, you've inspired me

Thank you . I'm trying to motivate myself to go back up there and do the rest. I have been sitting on my butt since 8.30 I only had 4 hours sleep so feel a bit like I can't be bothered .

OP posts:
Original poster
Shithole101 · 28/10/2023 12:13

peekaboo1986 · 28/10/2023 12:10

@Shithole101 just so you are aware IKEA delivery for small items such as those boxes is a VERY reasonable price of £3.50. It is large furniture that costs £50 to deliver.

Yes i think it's new though . Few others said as well. I had a check and it's 7 pounds for the delivery so not to bad. I'm just thinking if I need anything else from there before I place the order

OP posts:
FrontEnd · 28/10/2023 12:30

I've not read past first few pages but IKEA trofast shelves or similar must be screwed firmly into walls to eliminate risk of serious harm.

My other top tip is to forget trying to get kids to tidy their room before bed...getting them to tidy (and lay out uniform, fully packed schoolbag by door) before TV/screens/gaming is definitely the way to go!

Original poster
Shithole101 · 28/10/2023 12:43

FrontEnd · 28/10/2023 12:30

I've not read past first few pages but IKEA trofast shelves or similar must be screwed firmly into walls to eliminate risk of serious harm.

My other top tip is to forget trying to get kids to tidy their room before bed...getting them to tidy (and lay out uniform, fully packed schoolbag by door) before TV/screens/gaming is definitely the way to go!

Thank you . I have the ikea thing sorted now.

The other idea is not suited to us. Tha k you though

OP posts:
Original poster
Shithole101 · 28/10/2023 13:32

Older ds is here now . Hes cleaning the kitchen for me. I'm taking the wood from bed to the 1st floor landing and rubbish bags etc to clear space so I can get in the other rooms

OP posts:
uncomfortablydumb53 · 28/10/2023 13:34

Aww that's brilliant something useful he can do with you will boost his mood.
Do find time to put the kettle on
You've done so much already

Original poster
Shithole101 · 28/10/2023 13:42

Dd room ffs . I actually feel angry with her . Oh well. I'm gonna time myself 🤣

Bedrooms are trashed. Finding it hard see pics
OP posts:
GladysHeeler · 28/10/2023 14:15

I can understand why you feel angry.Flowers

Your dd probably just got overwhelmed with it all too. Of course, there's some stuff in there that doesn't need to be there, like the bottles, but to me it looks like there isn't necessarily a place for things. For example my dd has empty jam jars for her make up and brushes. And stationery, even one for her wires.

Has she got hooks on the back of her door for her towel. You can get over the door hooks in ikea.

Original poster
Shithole101 · 28/10/2023 14:30

GladysHeeler · 28/10/2023 14:15

I can understand why you feel angry.Flowers

Your dd probably just got overwhelmed with it all too. Of course, there's some stuff in there that doesn't need to be there, like the bottles, but to me it looks like there isn't necessarily a place for things. For example my dd has empty jam jars for her make up and brushes. And stationery, even one for her wires.

Has she got hooks on the back of her door for her towel. You can get over the door hooks in ikea.

My dd won't put stuff away. I have even told her I understand I get her we are not a tidy family. I have given her a 50litre bin. She literally has to stretch her arm . But no... and wash Basket as well. Oh andio said with her stuff I don't even care if it's randomly mixed in one box just as long ad stuff is mot all over the place.

Found my cups and glasses though and teaspoons silver lining and all that

OP posts:
PomBearsandaFruitShoot · 28/10/2023 15:07

How old are they? I have autism (found out as an adult though) and I absolutely hated it if my mum moved anything in my room. It was a really big mess and I did try to clean it by myself but I could never finish it as I would always get distracted. The rest of the house was never really tidy either and it gave me a lot of anxiety whenever my parents tided anywhere in the house and I couldn’t cope with things being thrown away.

Original poster
Shithole101 · 28/10/2023 15:13

3rd room done. Did not take as long as I thought to be honest. It's not 100% but passable.

My landing and stairs are all full of shit now I need to clear it all hate that part the most because its constantly up and down the stairs which is what makes me most tired and breathless.

I'm gonna order some food eat then do some more.

Bedrooms are trashed. Finding it hard see pics
OP posts:
Original poster
Shithole101 · 28/10/2023 15:15

PomBearsandaFruitShoot · 28/10/2023 15:07

How old are they? I have autism (found out as an adult though) and I absolutely hated it if my mum moved anything in my room. It was a really big mess and I did try to clean it by myself but I could never finish it as I would always get distracted. The rest of the house was never really tidy either and it gave me a lot of anxiety whenever my parents tided anywhere in the house and I couldn’t cope with things being thrown away.

Only one of mine is autistic. He does not care if things are moved thrown away etc .

OP posts:
whatamess100 · 28/10/2023 15:48

Welldone StarStar