Bedrooms are trashed. Finding it hard see pics

[Shithole101]

I have been through a really hard time which I hope is going in a better direction. I have to cope with things completely on my own with no support. Whilst supporting others . There's lots of mental health issues. Special needs. Vulnerability etc .

Anyway as I say some things are starting to get better. But the kids bedrooms are a shit hole . The kids are with their father this weekend so I'm trying to use the time to get things done. But I get tired and out of breath so quickly I get drained and don't get much done . I have just managed to do the 2 youngest kids room. I need to tidy /clean and take old bed apart in the spare room . And then put new double bed together for that room. I have to get it done tonight. Because my other son is coming over tomorrow to chat /company as he's struggling mentally so I don't want to do it whilst he's here .

So I'm drinking an energy drink in the hope it will help me stay awake till late /give me some energy

I have included pictures because I want to shame myself and motivate myself to get it done. I will add after pictures as well once done

Any ideas how the kids can keep it tidy ? In an easy to manage way. One child is autistic and forgets what he's doing. By the time he gets to his room . And then the younger one gets upset because he feels like it's on him.

In terms of cheap ideas for the walls:
lovely wrapping paper, I used to buy cheap clip art frames and hang them on the walls.
kids art - maybe they could make collages from birthday/ Christmas cards and put them up.
more kids art - ours used to get engaged in seasonal art - Halloween painting witches, Christmas Father Christmas and so on .
If you are crafty - cheap felt from pound shop or similar cut into shapes - can make suns, trains, anything really. Stick onto cardboard and cheap frame.
cinema and theatre posters for free from cinema /theatre - ask nicely at the box office.
mine always really liked a bedside table - freecycle or B and M etc.
Sometimes, people request free items on our local FB group. There are always people who are happy to get rid of things - I’ve seen people move into our area and furnish full houses that way. Agree increased storage would be good.

I think a small bedside table next to each bed would make the room look better. You can get them very cheaply off eBay or Amazon.

Argos, Amazon and B&Q do storage boxes too.

One in one out is a great policy.

Make tidying up part of the game - try setting a timer, putting on some music and getting them to Beat the clock or race each other to tidy up first.

You might find Sarah McGlory's posts on Instagram helpful/inspiring- she has health conditions which impact her energy and posts about keeping house without shame.

Their rooms are depressingly bare, devoid of decoration and personal touches.

Have you only just moved in?

Hey OP!

I agree with the poster who suggested that your grown-up son could help you with the bed. Working on something practical together is a really good way to get young adults to open up - having the external focus and also not having to make so much eye contact can make it easier for them to talk honestly.

Also, Ikea now do cheap delivery to "pick-up points" - maybe there's one near you? Have a look!
https://www.ikea.com/gb/en/customer-service/services/click-collect/collect-near-you-pubb89b7800

It looks warm and clean to me. Even if it's a bit bare on the walls, I wouldn't worry about that until you're in the mood. Have you read the book 'a squash and a squeeze' with your children?

Fitting with that book, I was thinking if you watched some proper hoarder videos on youtube or anywhere really, it would make you see that your task isn't that huge in the grand scheme of things (compared to the videos you could watch) and might take the mental exhaustion off a bit. A bit of a tidy, then use the rest of the year to figure out a bit here and there of keeping it organised and making it look cosier. I sometimes watch them whilst I'm tidying, to motivate me. Don't feel under pressure to having it all look beautiful at once.

Is there a known reason for being tired and out of breath? Have you had this checked out? If not I would recommend you do as there may be a reversal cause which will help you to be able to cope.

A technique I use when struggling with motivation is to aim to do 5 small jobs (e.g. Tidy a surface) Often starting gets me motivated to do more and if not at least 5 things will be done

I recently furnished DC1's unfinished student flat for very little. I posted on my local community site what I needed & so many people offered things for free if I collected. They were given freely with the proviso thst we'll pass them on when we're done. Better for your pocket & the environment. Can someone help you collect things?

This & my local barter site. I've just discovered them & they're awesome. E.g I swapped an ironing board for a bottle of Fairy, a clothes airer for a slab of Coke, and a hoover for some washing powder. It's truly brilliant.

Great job OP.

I saw a great idea for using washi tape to decorate walls/doors etc online. That could really add a splash of colour for very little spend.

Something like these...?

Those are brilliant!

I find Homebase even better.

Is the wardrobe on the other side? Definitely agree with the idea of labelling boxes for everything, and shelves on the wall for special things. We used to use the Trofast stuff when they were little and each tray had a different type of toy in, labelled, so it doesn't take long to tidy up each evening.

Yeah I did get a larged delivery when I moved here. Which is not so bad paying out when it's lots . But I don't want to pay 50.00 delivery for a few little bits

The delivery cost is high isn't it! Sometimes people sell Ikea stuff cheaply on FB Marketplace.

@Puffalicious one of the best typos I’ve seen ‘swapped a clothes airer for a slab of COKE’ bet you’ve not slept in a year 😁👀

The first picture is super clean and tidy, you've done a great job so far! I would also recommend KC Davis, she has a podcast about housework while coping with neurodivergence/health conditions which I find really helpful. I don't think the room is depressing at all - are there any charity shops near you that sell furniture? The ones near me offer delivery and are usually full of IKEA products

Re stuff on the wall my kids have their walls covered in their own artwork.

Second the pp who suggested Kallax, it transformed our lives recently! My 3 year old even managed to tidy the room herself! 7 year old still can't but at least I know everything has a place it lives.

🤣🤣🤣 . But it's not a typo! They all suggest a slab (36 cans) of Coke/ Pepsi Max round here. The expression seems to be a thing! You get said 'slabs' in Iceland for £9, so often a bargain for getting something you need for less! But it does sound a bit mental!🤣

Well done, you've made a good start. B&m to units and draws cheap or gb maket place

So the bigger room will stay as it is, and the small room is going to have a double bed in it? There is not too much wrong with the bigger room now it's been tidied. A couple of easy fixes would make it look great. In a bedroom I would always prioritise a clean, neat bed, maybe with a cushion on, and a blanket for contrasting colour/texture. There is no reason the duvets shouldn't always be inside the duvet covers and the pillows shouldn't have pillow cases on. If the pillows are yellow and stained then wash them or buy new cheap ones. Even if the rest of the room gets messy then as long as the kids can climb into a clean cosy bed to sleep in then they'll be fine. Cheap bin (couple of quid plastic one) in the corner where all their rubbish must go. Go into their bedroom every couple of days and simply direct them where things should go. eg point the items of rubbish out and tell them to put it in the bin. Eventually it will be second nature eg they'll unwrap something and throw the wrapper into the bin rather than drop it at their feet. Empty the bedroom bins once a week the night before bin collection day. I wouldn't allow food items in bedrooms, there is no need. A small glass of water at bedtime is all they need.

Cheap bedside table next to it with lamp. A rug between the 2 beds with a shelving unit against the wall between the beds. A couple of cheap pictures/posters/photo frames on the wall.

I really don't think it will take too much effort or expense to make it look great. But keep up the basics regularly after that.

When your son comes round tomorrow, just tell him to sit on a chair in the room and talk to you while you are running around sorting it out. If he isn't the sort to help them don't even try persuading him to now. You don't have time for that.

Great job cleaning and tidying :)

I feel like the bed needs to be away from that window though. Maybe against the opposite wall tucked into the corner?

Just Go Away @Ontheperiphery79,
your nastiness is not needed here.

The first thing I notice is that at least one of the beds has one of its long sides right up against a vertical surface (the window). I have always found it is much harder to make a bed daily if more than one side is up against a wall, because I can't get all around it to move sheets around etc. So one of my rules for bedrooms is that beds must be arranged so that each bed is at least one or two feet out from the wall except on the side where you put your head.

Making the bed daily gives a bedroom a visual sense of order and, in my opinion, tends to make children feel a sense of control and competence. (It also means things don't get lost as easily because you are checking your bedclothes every day. All sorts of things hide in there: hairbrushes, books, you name it 😀) I try not to promote room cleaning as a moral thing but as a thing that is designed to make you happier, so my goal in organising the children's bedrooms is, what works for them as individuals and for us as a family. When they know explicitly that the goal is for them to be happier, they're more cooperative with setting up their room in a way that makes it possible to clean. That is what works for me. Just be aware of course that a child usually will not make a bed look as nice and tidy as an adult because they aren't tall enough to lift the entire sheet or duvet at once. They have to kind of walk around the bed a bunch of times, pulling the bedclothes here and there and it can feel like quite a faff for them, more so than an adult.

Another thing I've noticed in terms of clutter is that the same clutter tends to end up in the same places repeatedly. If it's not obvious how the clutter gets there, then you might need to get insight from the children about how they use the room so you can decide which clutter needs its own place in easy reach, and which clutter can be put into a storage box because it's only used infrequently. From this, I changed the way I have them clean a room: first they move any cups or other stuff out that belongs elsewhere in the house. They just leave it outside the door and I deal with it later. Then they throw away any trash. Then they make the beds. Then we deal with toys etc that are all over the floor.

I notice in the way you've arranged the room, there is nowhere for them to put a cup of water on a table next to the bed at night. Having such a surface like a little cupboard next to each bed, might make the room look cozier and be a bit more functional for them. But it depends on what works for you.

-A laundry bin in each room.
-a bin with spare liners at bottom.
-one on, one off bedding.
-a toy box just to chick things in.
-set a timer for 5 minutes in each room everyday, see what you can get done.

Not sure if this is something your DCs would enjoy but I used to play a game with classes of reluctant tidiers when I was a teacher. You pick one thing that isn't where it should be (don't tell them what it is) and that's the magic object. The game is who can be the first to pick up and tidy the 'magic object' in its correct place is the winner (I used to give a high five 😆 which was a rubbish prize, chocolate button might work better). Once the magic object has been found, the magic jumps to another mystery item and the game continues until the room is tidy.

Might not suit your DC but it did used to get a room cleared quite quickly.