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Original poster

What form has your midlife crisis taken?

149 replies

Foodorder · 27/10/2023 17:27

What odd decisions or big changes have you made?

I think I've had 2. At 40 I very nearly had an affair. I did the right thing and walked away eventually, but it brought about quite a lot of change in my life as I realised what actually made me tick, rather than what I'd always accepted/been told I wanted from life.

In my early 50s I've suddenly become adventurous and impulsive, in my clothes, my work, travel, doing loads of things I wouldn't have dreamt I was capable of.

OP posts:
HerDarkMaterial · 27/10/2023 20:12

Affair, quit longtime career, started writing novels, moved countries.

LadyGeorginaSmythe · 27/10/2023 20:13

I need one of those get fit health kick type midlife crises.

TheFutureIs · 27/10/2023 20:14

Running and tattoo's, both give me huge amounts of pleasure

RedSnowflake · 27/10/2023 20:21

I’ve done the wardrobe update one and am now patiently waiting for the health kick one to start…

FullFathomFyve · 27/10/2023 20:22

This is the most inspiring thread I have read in a long time!

IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere · 27/10/2023 20:23

DH got a tattoo. I started an OU degree.

SkyFullofStars1975 · 27/10/2023 20:29

I've lost 4 stone. Still have around 3 stone to get rid of but that's OK.

Stopped being a people pleaser.
Walk 10k steps a day and no longer notice it. It's my norm.

I think I turned 50 and realised that if I didn't get my arse in gear, I was going to be fat and 60 as well as having been fat and 30, fat and 40, fat and 50.

DH took up golf Hmm

illbeinthegarden · 27/10/2023 20:29

Piercings and tattoos and starting a degree cause everyone seemed to have one around me and I was scared of being left behind. Quit a job I loved to make space for said degree and regret it as hate the degree! So I'm about to embark on a whole new path no idea what it is yet though!

I could be sad and regretful but I'm choosing to see it as the universe putting me where I need to be! 🤞🤞

Aozora13 · 27/10/2023 20:31

Ooh I’m about to have one - binning off my career, might go back to uni, moving out of London. I’ve also abandoned all pretence of dressing like a grownup and am slowly shedding my people pleasing ways. Also considering more piercings. Feel a bit like a teenager again but a fat, wrinkly and tired one.

Octavia64 · 27/10/2023 20:36

Started wild swimming.

Really enjoyed it until I had to take a break because I got ill.

Julofhiddenacres · 27/10/2023 20:39

Went back into the work force part time last year. Just started taking horse riding lessons at 50. I'd love to fly over and spend two weeks in Oxford, fulfilling the dreams that started when I read Gaudy Night.

OriginalFloorboards · 27/10/2023 20:41

At 43 I got my first foal (I’ve had fully grown horses before him). He’s an absolute beauty and I’m so thrilled I have been the first to sit on him etc.

Now age 50 I’m off to get a helix piercing tomorrow…although I’m taking my riding hat with me as I don’t want it to catch so I’ll look a moron but I’m trying it on and letting them see the best place to do it.

I’m so excited!

Oh and next week I’m retraining my career and have joined the CII and got all my books.

Imamumgetmeoutofhere · 27/10/2023 20:42

Not yet 40 but not far off. Its given me depression, anxiety and crippling self esteem sadly.

Finding life very tough right now. Hopefully some meds from the GP will help.

Luckily my husband is being better than usual and supportive.

I once thought I'd go back to uni around 40 once the kids were older but got this shite to deal with instead

OriginalFloorboards · 27/10/2023 20:44

@Imamumgetmeoutofhere just wanted to say take each day as it comes and you will get there.

Imamumgetmeoutofhere · 27/10/2023 20:46

@OriginalFloorboards thank you. On paper I have no reason to feel this way. But we all know it's not as simple as that

Allmarbleslost · 27/10/2023 20:48

Oh god this thread has made me realise I'm actually having a midlife crisis. In the last year I've quit my job, cut my hair a lot shorter, got my nose pierced and adopted several animals. I don't feel like I'm done yet though!

MrsTulip · 27/10/2023 20:48

Im 40 at Christmas- my midlife crisis started summer 2022 when I started discerning a call to ordained ministry and I started wearing dresses to work more often

Needhelp101 · 27/10/2023 20:49

Developed a worrying obsession with Dwayne The Rock Johnson Think I posted about it here 😁

Seriously, I watched Doom, it was that bad.

Matchingcollarandcuffs · 27/10/2023 20:51

I currently feel invisible and angry, and I feel like DH is detached and doesn’t see me, just someone who he can have sex with and who makes his life easier.

Not quite sure how this is going to play out tbh, we have had an incredibly shitty few years each which aren’t over yet.

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 27/10/2023 20:53

Darklane · 27/10/2023 20:10

Seriously many times considered what it would be like to walk into one of the deep, dark, cold, remote, lonely reservoirs on the moors where I live & walk my little dogs.

How do you mean ? That sounds worrying - are you OK ?

Notsonifty50 · 27/10/2023 20:59

These are all so positive but my mid-life reality is definitely not. I'm 50 and suffering with terrible anxiety. I'm considering giving up my job which I love because of it.

I'm off work this week and have only left the house once. I'm finding social interactions really difficult and have cut myself off from everybody and made excuses not to go out. I really don't know what's wrong with me.

Imamumgetmeoutofhere · 27/10/2023 20:59

Darklane · 27/10/2023 20:10

Seriously many times considered what it would be like to walk into one of the deep, dark, cold, remote, lonely reservoirs on the moors where I live & walk my little dogs.

If this means what I think it means, please please seek help. Whether that's speaking to friends or family, going to a GP, Samaritans or even A&E if you can't keep your safe.

No matter how awful things seem it can get better Flowers

DustyLee123 · 27/10/2023 21:05

Notsonifty50 · 27/10/2023 20:59

These are all so positive but my mid-life reality is definitely not. I'm 50 and suffering with terrible anxiety. I'm considering giving up my job which I love because of it.

I'm off work this week and have only left the house once. I'm finding social interactions really difficult and have cut myself off from everybody and made excuses not to go out. I really don't know what's wrong with me.

I was like this, it was peri. In the end I gave in and tried HRT, wish I’d started it earlier.

Namechangeforthis88 · 27/10/2023 21:08

I've got into sport and exercise, which has led to new friendships, confidence going out to the pub weekly and the odd weekend away.

I hope things get easier very quickly for the people on this thread who are finding life tough. I have had dark times before but I've been so much happier and less anxious in the last couple of years.

Gowlett · 27/10/2023 21:09

Last year I lost loads of weight, had some good health news.
Felt good, looked good. Life was good. I was pretty happy…

This year, my marriage hit the rocks. It’s still in free fall now.
I whacked the weight back on, health went downhill. It’s 💩

Also, the menopause hit me like a truck. I think I need to turn it all around next year. Maybe not being married will help.