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Awful school hymns — which ones did you loathe?

354 replies

DumboHimalayan · 26/10/2023 12:09

This is for those of you who had to sing hymns every morning in assembly at school — which were the ones you hated, that made you groan inside when they came up, and why?

For me it was a toss-up between One More Step Along The World I Go and Who Put The Colours In The Rainbow. Both of them toe-curlingly banal both musically and lyrically, both of them cringily childish in that way that's particularly objectionable to children who are just that little bit too old for something, and the former also having that nasty shoehorned mismatched meter that forces the emphasis on to all THE wrong words and syllABles. (Thankfully both were ditched by senior school, where the worst one musically was probably an alternative tune for All Things Bright And Beautiful. No, not the one you're thinking of. No, not that one either. A different tune , one that I've never been able to find corroborating evidence for online, which appeared to have been composed using note selection by dice-throw, in a hurry, and which they gave up on after the first disastrous all-school attempt.)

BTW I'm coming at this from a purely aesthetic perspective — I'm not and never have been a Christian, just had to sing the songs for a decade or so, some of which I enjoyed from a musical perspective, and others not .

OP posts:
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CeciledeVolangesdeNouveau · 01/11/2023 00:01

@NumberFortyNorhamGardens i know that one! Always seemed to be written from the perspective of a bacterium to me. Similar to “hidden in thy wounded side”

Cattenberg · 01/11/2023 00:17

I’m on the wrong thread because I don’t hate any of them, and I’ve really enjoyed the memories you’ve all evoked.

I remember “Music Time”. The first episode we saw was pretty exciting as it showed a drama with elves in a tower, I think. But every subsequent episode we were shown consisted of Jonathan and Helen? in a room in a studio and that just couldn’t match up to the dizzying heights of episode 1.

I loved Shine, Jesus Shine.

One song that I don’t think has been mentioned yet was “On Tiptoe” (and I’ve just found out it was by the Fisherfolk)

And all creation’s straining
On tip-toe just to see
The sons of God, come into their own

Also, a song called “Father God, I Wonder” was played at a school memorial service for a little girl, so is very poignant for me.

Does anyone remember either of these two?

Cattenberg · 01/11/2023 00:25

Sorry, was sung by us, not played.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

ManAboutTown · 01/11/2023 00:34

I'd love to see what happens these days if a school tried to get the pupils to sing Onward Christian Soldiers although I loved it's rhythm when I went to school in the early 70s. All Things Bright and Beautiful used to annoy me though - too mindlessly upbeat.

The one I liked and like even more today is Morning has Broken. Probably a lot of people remember it as a Cat Stevens song but it was written as a hymn in the 1930s by a very clever woman called Eleanor Farjeon (well worth reading about her). Beautiful lyrics and chords. Stevens did it full justice when he did his version

CeciledeVolangesdeNouveau · 01/11/2023 08:01

@ManAboutTown I like that one too! Since I lost my faith as an older teenager I’ve not liked the ones that are so heavy-handed about how God is the best thing in the world, all good things come from God so we have to praise and thank him all the time. Morning has Broken can be a little like that in parts but it’s also about appreciating the beauty of the world for itself!

CathyorClaire · 01/11/2023 10:06

It's all a bit "'Come into my parlour,' said the spider to the fly"

It was a Sunday School staple and Sunday School is run with the aim of indoctrinating enthusing the next generation of Church goers so I suppose a bit of propaganda didn't seem amiss.

World: do you want a Pilate?
Jesus: on reflection, probably not

😁😁

DumboHimalayan · 01/11/2023 10:11

It's not that it's propaganda, it's that Jesus will pilot you "to heaven". I feel like I'm being told I'm going to sleep with the fishes.

OP posts:
CeciledeVolangesdeNouveau · 01/11/2023 10:45

A church friend of a friend once told me she couldn’t wait to meet Jesus (early twenties with a young child). I wonder if people really really think that one through… but yes I know what the aim of the hymns is, it just looks a bit OTT in hindsight as a now non-believer.

ismu · 01/11/2023 12:09

@ManAboutTown morning has broken uses a Gaelic carol called Leanaibh an Aigh which is sort of translated as the hymn Child in the Manger. The original is beautiful and Morning has Broken does it justice!

FranKatzenjammer · 01/11/2023 12:20

I've enjoyed following this thread over the past week, although I'm not the target audience. I lead a children's choir at my church and our repertoire includes:

Autumn Days
Cross over the road
Daisies are our silver
Far round the world
Give me joy in my heart
God is love, his the care
Jesus’ hands were kind hands
Morning has broken
One more step along the world I go
Shine, Jesus, shine
Think of a world without any flowers
When I needed a neighbour
All creatures of our God and King
All things bright and beautiful
At the name of Jesus
Be still for the presence of the Lord
Lord of the dance
Tell out, my soul, the greatness of the Lord

The children love singing these absolute bangers, but their parents love them even more!

RedRosesPinkLilies · 01/11/2023 12:26

This was my kids school end of term hymn. We had an English Headmaster

Jerusalem - I’m sure lots of people love it - but it concerns England - and we live in the North East of Scotland. Pretty far away!

(I am not otherwise anti England)

DumboHimalayan · 01/11/2023 12:43

"Jerusalem" also smells vaguely heretical, if you start thinking too much about the words (not that one does, usually, but sometimes during a long, tedious assembly singing things you don't believe in for the n-hundredth time, your mind can start to look for something to occupy itself with).

OP posts:
RedRosesPinkLilies · 01/11/2023 12:55

I completely agree - that was my other issue with it

SleepingStandingUp · 01/11/2023 13:27

I picked my wedding songs based on favourite school hymns.
Shine Jesus Shine!? The vicar so clearly did NOT approve. And Jerusalem. He imagined I was imagining a all male choir singing it. I was actually imagining 100 school girls lol

greengreengrass25 · 01/11/2023 18:42

Cattenberg · 01/11/2023 00:17

I’m on the wrong thread because I don’t hate any of them, and I’ve really enjoyed the memories you’ve all evoked.

I remember “Music Time”. The first episode we saw was pretty exciting as it showed a drama with elves in a tower, I think. But every subsequent episode we were shown consisted of Jonathan and Helen? in a room in a studio and that just couldn’t match up to the dizzying heights of episode 1.

I loved Shine, Jesus Shine.

One song that I don’t think has been mentioned yet was “On Tiptoe” (and I’ve just found out it was by the Fisherfolk)

And all creation’s straining
On tip-toe just to see
The sons of God, come into their own

Also, a song called “Father God, I Wonder” was played at a school memorial service for a little girl, so is very poignant for me.

Does anyone remember either of these two?

Father God is fabulous and still sung I believe

greengreengrass25 · 01/11/2023 18:43

I will sing your praises?

PersephonePomegranate23 · 01/11/2023 19:01

I hated 'He's got the whole world in his hands'. It still grates to this day.

Is there one about a fire? I don’t think it was give me oil in my lamp. I want to say page 55 but that would be just weird 😂
We sang alternative lyrics to this at my Catholic school and the hymn was called 'Sing Hosana'. I only discovered the oil in my lamp lyrics as an adult.

I now have Lord of The Dance going around my head 😂

CathyorClaire · 01/11/2023 20:21

Anyone remember 'I've Got A Home In Gloryland' (way beyond the blue)?

That was actually quite a good belter 😀

KohlaParasaurus · 01/11/2023 20:26

CathyorClaire · 01/11/2023 20:21

Anyone remember 'I've Got A Home In Gloryland' (way beyond the blue)?

That was actually quite a good belter 😀

Yes! Enjoyed that one. When I first heard it I thought "Way beyond the blue" was "Baby on the blue".

di2004 · 01/11/2023 20:32

‘ We plough the fields and scatter’ .. ghastly!

AIBAnxious · 01/11/2023 20:39

Passepartoute · 26/10/2023 13:15

In my days of attending primary school assemblies, I hated one that went "Love is something if you give it away
You end up having more."

Mostly because I was cringing at the dreadful English.

It's just like a magic penny, hold it tight and you won't have any, give it away and you'll get so many, they'll roll all over the floor.

You're right, that really was the worst!!

NaughtyBoyGeorgeMichaelJacksonBrown · 01/11/2023 20:46

Chocolata82 · 26/10/2023 13:39

From a Tiny Ant, from a tiny ant, to an elephant, to an elephant, from a snake to a kangaroo.....

Does anyone remember that one?

From the snake to the kangaroo.

From the great white (from the great white shark), to the singing lark (to the singing lark).

Liked this one!!

NumberFortyNorhamGardens · 01/11/2023 21:00

AIBAnxious · 01/11/2023 20:39

It's just like a magic penny, hold it tight and you won't have any, give it away and you'll get so many, they'll roll all over the floor.

You're right, that really was the worst!!

Worst financial advice ever.

HuntingoftheSnark · 01/11/2023 21:06

I liked Shine Jesus Shine!

Also: from the rising of the sun
To the going down of the same
The lord's name is to be praised.

But our school song ... it started on an odd note. Green the countryside around her ....

ManAboutTown · 02/11/2023 00:13

@ismu - thank you I didn't know that/ Will try and track it down