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Awful school hymns — which ones did you loathe?

354 replies

DumboHimalayan · 26/10/2023 12:09

This is for those of you who had to sing hymns every morning in assembly at school — which were the ones you hated, that made you groan inside when they came up, and why?

For me it was a toss-up between One More Step Along The World I Go and Who Put The Colours In The Rainbow. Both of them toe-curlingly banal both musically and lyrically, both of them cringily childish in that way that's particularly objectionable to children who are just that little bit too old for something, and the former also having that nasty shoehorned mismatched meter that forces the emphasis on to all THE wrong words and syllABles. (Thankfully both were ditched by senior school, where the worst one musically was probably an alternative tune for All Things Bright And Beautiful. No, not the one you're thinking of. No, not that one either. A different tune , one that I've never been able to find corroborating evidence for online, which appeared to have been composed using note selection by dice-throw, in a hurry, and which they gave up on after the first disastrous all-school attempt.)

BTW I'm coming at this from a purely aesthetic perspective — I'm not and never have been a Christian, just had to sing the songs for a decade or so, some of which I enjoyed from a musical perspective, and others not .

OP posts:
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Sugarfree23 · 26/10/2023 21:18

Barbadossunset · 26/10/2023 15:43

Sugarfree:

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In South Texas, oxbows left by the Rio Grande are called resacas. In Australia, oxbow lakes are called billabongs.

Thank-you for taking time to give a detailed response - I love learning things on MN. Thanks 😊

LlynTegid · 26/10/2023 21:18

In the bleak midwinter.

apapuchi · 26/10/2023 21:21

onlyconnect · 26/10/2023 21:16

Is there one with lines like, "I have seen the golden sunshine/ I have heard the something rain"?

I love this thread. It's brought back memories

Is this the one that goes I've seen the light, I've seen the light and that's why my heart sings? Familiar, am off to Google 😂 #invested

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

HuntingoftheSnark · 26/10/2023 21:22

I'm really surprised that nobody liked Make Me A Channel - I thought it was lovely - Francis of Assisi?

I hated: There is a Green Hill - ghastly high notes, screechy, tuneless.

Loved: And Can it Be.

MadCatLady27 · 26/10/2023 21:22

BlueEyedPeanut · 26/10/2023 12:57

You had hymn books? Fancy! We had an overhead projector which we had to take turns "turning" the pages.

So did we and you thought you were really important if your monitor duties included being the person who did the pointing at the line we were on and moving to the next "slide"

Sugarfree23 · 26/10/2023 21:36

@apapuchi I love the Calypso Carol. It is half the reason I get my coat on and have my annual church visit. The other half is my mum!

CesareBorgia · 26/10/2023 21:37

FuzzyPuffling · 26/10/2023 18:33

I had completely forgotten this. But now you have jogged my memory I find I can remember quite a few words...."that the sky is blue"

Also one about "Daisies are my silver, buttercups my gold, This is all the treasure I can have or hold"

I really hate 'Daisies are our silver' - such a 'know your place' hymn. Try buying food to feed your family with daisies and buttercups, and see how far you get.

RenoDakota · 26/10/2023 21:37

HuntingoftheSnark · 26/10/2023 21:22

I'm really surprised that nobody liked Make Me A Channel - I thought it was lovely - Francis of Assisi?

I hated: There is a Green Hill - ghastly high notes, screechy, tuneless.

Loved: And Can it Be.

And Can It Be is my all time favourite hymn.
Closely followed by Make Me a Channel of Your Peace, How Great Thou Art and Great is Thy Faithfulness.

RenoDakota · 26/10/2023 21:42

... and The Day Thou Gavest, Lord, is Ended.

Froodwithatowel · 26/10/2023 21:43

apapuchi · 26/10/2023 21:21

Is this the one that goes I've seen the light, I've seen the light and that's why my heart sings? Familiar, am off to Google 😂 #invested

I have seen the golden sunshine I have watched the flowers grow
I have seen the something springtime and there's something now I know
they were all put there for us to share by someone so divine
and if you're a friend of Jesus you're a friend of mine.

I've seen the light etc.

This is why there has been no room for anything else in my head since 1982!

Froodwithatowel · 26/10/2023 21:45

I do remember the whole back row getting Very Shouted at for quite innocently singing 'grapes I shall give to him, hanging in custard'.

Since no one had a clue there was such a word as 'cluster'.

EmmaDilemma5 · 26/10/2023 21:46

Thisisnotmyname2022 · 26/10/2023 12:27

No I wouldn’t forget… to say a great big thank you…

We often got told off for emphasising the line about the apple pie 😂

Omg I loved this one!

Also loved lord of the dance, one more step along the world I do and amazing grace.

Not Christian but do love a hymn!

EmmaDilemma5 · 26/10/2023 21:47

Oh and used to like the "stand up, sit down, shout hallelujah"

WeDidntHaveWaterBottlesInThe80s · 26/10/2023 21:47

I can't believe the thread has got this far without a mention of anything being sung as a round. Cue chaos. Particularly the absolute banger which is "Seek Ye First the Kingdom of God".

Also have fond memories of"Follow me, follow me, leave your homes and families".

CheesyChipsOnWembleyWay · 26/10/2023 21:51

This was Friday afternoon assembly

At quarter past three we go home to tea or maybe at a quarter to four,
and ten pairs of feet come running down the street
and in at their own front door.
For it's rough and tumble
Rattle and noise,
Mothers and fathers,
girls and boys,
baby in the carry cot
cat by the stove
a little bit of worrying
A lot more love!
Lord Jesus taught
That his children ought
to forgive one another each day,
to give and take for his dear sake
and love one another I pray
for it's rough and tumble
rattle and noise
mothers and fathers
girlos and boys
baby in the carry cot
cat by the stove
a little bit of worrying but a lot more love!

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 26/10/2023 21:54

We had to say Grace at lunch time.

For what we are about to receive the pigs have just refused.

catwithflowers · 26/10/2023 21:59

We also said Grace before lunch and a prayer before we left to go home. I didn't go to a church school, I think it was very common in most primaries in the early 70's

catwithflowers · 26/10/2023 22:02

Actually I think we said The Lord's Prayer every day before home time. We must have done a lot of praying, with assembly every day too! 😇

DumboHimalayan · 26/10/2023 22:10

Alighttouchonthetiller · 26/10/2023 19:00

I love all these old school hymns. I loved school and they bring back wonderful memories.

My lovely friend had 'One More Step' at her funeral. It was heartbreaking.

I don't mind that it has been judged to be inadequate by MN. It is important to me, as are many of the songs being sneered at for their inferiority. Such is the tone of modern life, I suppose.

If you're liable to be so upset at people naming hymns they dislike and explaining their reasons, then why on earth would you click on a thread called "Awful school hymns — which ones did you loathe?" 🤣

I'm sure lots of other posters, not just you, have come across hymns which have important emotional connections for them in this thread, being named as someone else's most hated. Me included. But then I'm guessing that most of us actually don't mind.

OP posts:
bellocchild · 26/10/2023 22:17

'Praise, my soul, the king of heaven' was the school hymn. We had Hymns Ancient and Modern' as the hymn book, lots of rousing good hymns in that, and the music teacher used to hammer away on the grand piano like a fiend. The only problem was having to hand embroider a cover for your hymn book.

greengreengrass25 · 26/10/2023 22:21

Alligator456 · 26/10/2023 21:06

The rich man in his castle,
The poor man at his gate,
He made them, high or lowly,
And ordered their estate.

Never saw that verse. I'm not convinced it was even in the hymn book we had

I like the rushes by the water verse

arlequin · 26/10/2023 22:23

Light a candle in the daaaaarkneeeesssss

soundsys · 26/10/2023 22:30

One about being in the Lord's Army. Which involved a teacher trying to get us to march about and her punching the air.

There's a really great one that goes "we've got Christian lives to live we've got Jesus love to give we've got nothing to hide because in him we can abide..." anyone remember that one? "Love the lord your god with all your heart and all your soul and all your mind and love all mankind as you would yourse-eh-eh-elf" and repeat

MrsHawkes · 26/10/2023 22:33

We had a dreadful one not a hymn as such but a song. Can’t properly remember. Something t like “my hair’s brown and your hair’s yellow, my eyes are blue and yours are green”

ElinoristhenewEnid · 26/10/2023 22:43

Wno remembers 'daisies are my silver, buttercups my gold. These are all the treasures, we can have or hold'