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Awful school hymns — which ones did you loathe?

354 replies

DumboHimalayan · 26/10/2023 12:09

This is for those of you who had to sing hymns every morning in assembly at school — which were the ones you hated, that made you groan inside when they came up, and why?

For me it was a toss-up between One More Step Along The World I Go and Who Put The Colours In The Rainbow. Both of them toe-curlingly banal both musically and lyrically, both of them cringily childish in that way that's particularly objectionable to children who are just that little bit too old for something, and the former also having that nasty shoehorned mismatched meter that forces the emphasis on to all THE wrong words and syllABles. (Thankfully both were ditched by senior school, where the worst one musically was probably an alternative tune for All Things Bright And Beautiful. No, not the one you're thinking of. No, not that one either. A different tune , one that I've never been able to find corroborating evidence for online, which appeared to have been composed using note selection by dice-throw, in a hurry, and which they gave up on after the first disastrous all-school attempt.)

BTW I'm coming at this from a purely aesthetic perspective — I'm not and never have been a Christian, just had to sing the songs for a decade or so, some of which I enjoyed from a musical perspective, and others not .

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ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 26/10/2023 12:34

I’ve now got ‘Give me oil in my lamp’ as an ear worm.

Thisisnotmyname2022 · 26/10/2023 12:35

WinkyTinky · 26/10/2023 12:34

So light up the fire and let the flames burn,
wwwwwwwwwww-Open the door, let Jesus return

That was it! I loved that song, I’m sure it was song 55! Who has the book? Please check for me 😂

Longma · 26/10/2023 12:35

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Thisisnotmyname2022 · 26/10/2023 12:36

Also, in the green book.. first song I think was 73… I loved to hate that song.

InvisibleDuck · 26/10/2023 12:38

KStockHERO · 26/10/2023 12:30

Give me oil in my lamp..... Absolute banger.
At my primary, a lad called Brian (yes, a child called Brian) used to go "yee-haw" after the line "Sing Hosana to the king of kings" and get lunchtime detention every time we sang it.

Yee-haw! I love that. At my school there would always be people adding an extra 'of kings!' which used to wind the teachers up.

My favourites were Here I Am Lord and Shine Jesus Shine. Although the former meant that I really wanted to be chosen by God for some special mission and was disappointed to learn that he wasn't going to actually talk to me like he did to people in the Bible!

Thisisnotmyname2022 · 26/10/2023 12:38

Dishee · 26/10/2023 12:32

@Thisisnotmyname2022 Just for you

I love this!!!!

This has made my day, thank you!

DumboHimalayan · 26/10/2023 12:40

Oh we never had "Come and Praise" — we had "Junior Praise" at my junior school, and "Hymns Old and New" at senior school (a brand new batch that started at that school the same year I did — it had crappy faux-leather hardboard covers where the plastic coating rapidly separated and bubbled up from being handled by clumsy teens, which was then inevitably absentmindedly peeled off during boring assemblies, leading to epic whole-school assembly bollockings).

Awful school hymns — which ones did you loathe?
Awful school hymns — which ones did you loathe?
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Thisisnotmyname2022 · 26/10/2023 12:40

Water of life ❤️

WinkyTinky · 26/10/2023 12:40

I went through the whole of primary school thinking it was -

Who built the ark? No one, no one,
Who built the ark? Brother no one built the ark

😂

Thisisnotmyname2022 · 26/10/2023 12:42

Holy Fuck!! It was 55!! I’m nearly 40 and have not seen that book for 30 years.

DumboHimalayan · 26/10/2023 12:43

Thisisnotmyname2022 · 26/10/2023 12:42

Holy Fuck!! It was 55!! I’m nearly 40 and have not seen that book for 30 years.

It's amazing what sticks.

Somehow it's never French verbs or rivers of Europe.

No, it's hymn numbers and which day of the week was potato croquette day.

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Reallybadidea · 26/10/2023 12:43

KStockHERO · 26/10/2023 12:30

Give me oil in my lamp..... Absolute banger.
At my primary, a lad called Brian (yes, a child called Brian) used to go "yee-haw" after the line "Sing Hosana to the king of kings" and get lunchtime detention every time we sang it.

Brian sounds great. That story really made me smile

Ifyoulikealotofchocolateonyourbiscuit · 26/10/2023 12:45

Omg this is like a blast from the past. Loved a bit of who put the colours in the rainbow, autumn days and sing hosanna 😂

didn’t like the one that went it’s up it’s up it’s UP TO YOU so much. Also didn’t like the when I needed a neighbour so much

one more step along the world was the standard year 6 leavers assembly song

Thisisnotmyname2022 · 26/10/2023 12:45

DumboHimalayan · 26/10/2023 12:43

It's amazing what sticks.

Somehow it's never French verbs or rivers of Europe.

No, it's hymn numbers and which day of the week was potato croquette day.

Oh I can sing the alphabet and happy birthday in French 😂 thanks to Mrs McDonald my French teacher in year 7.

Thisisnotmyname2022 · 26/10/2023 12:46

I also remember school dinners giving out cards, almost like a trading card collection. I was so jealous as I was on packed lunches.

oakleaffy · 26/10/2023 12:46

“Breathe on me, Bre-eath of God, so I might ne-ever Di-e “

Not sure of the name or number of the Hymn but it was so depressing.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 26/10/2023 12:46

It because songs use moors than one activity. Hearing and speech. That’s why we always remember songs ( 25 years a teacher) using to methods of action help you learn better

This is why l remember no Latin or French verbs.

doris9034 · 26/10/2023 12:47

The Ink is Black, The Page is White - not sure this would even be allowed now!

Thisisnotmyname2022 · 26/10/2023 12:48

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 26/10/2023 12:46

It because songs use moors than one activity. Hearing and speech. That’s why we always remember songs ( 25 years a teacher) using to methods of action help you learn better

This is why l remember no Latin or French verbs.

That’s an interesting concept! Should have sang my way through English Lit 😂

TheProvincialLady · 26/10/2023 12:48

I must have been a child of poor taste because I loved most of these 😀 I did and continue to detest Kum By Yah or however it’s spelled. I used to sing “Come by car my Lord” and then in the later verses come bt bus/taxi/train/bike etc.

My kids had it much worse though - appalling ‘rap’ and piss poor modern worship songs sung to a pre recorded backing. It has served me well though as it makes them appreciate the very traditional hymns and worship style at our church.

TheHawkisHowling · 26/10/2023 12:49

I can't complain about any of them. Our headteacher was very musical and he used to make it entertaining whatever bobbins we were singing.

I can still picture him now striding around with his guitar jollying us all along.

Dishee · 26/10/2023 12:51

Apparently primary school bangers are why the UK are brilliant at singing at festivals etc, it is ingrained. My primary school was Catholic so we had some overlap songs but not many, Dh went to a CoE primary, he is my reference. We used to love anything with hand gestures or arms so you could mess around, "His love is so WIDE you can't get round it" whilst taking someone's eye out or poking up someone's nose.

Hated Kum By Yah. We loved give me oil in my lamp and we were allowed to sing ye-hah and also loved The Virgin Mary Had a Baby Boy but ridiculously we never actually knew what a virgin was, only when Madonna sang it and somehow that was a bit naughty did we find out, I was 10. Grin

DumboHimalayan · 26/10/2023 12:51

Thisisnotmyname2022 · 26/10/2023 12:45

Oh I can sing the alphabet and happy birthday in French 😂 thanks to Mrs McDonald my French teacher in year 7.

Did your alphabet song start "Moi je sais l'alphabet, écoute, est-ce que c'est bon?" —because if so, we had the same one, from Encore Tricolore, and took great joy in yelling "Idiote!" at the end Grin

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InvisibleDuck · 26/10/2023 12:51

Ifyoulikealotofchocolateonyourbiscuit · 26/10/2023 12:45

Omg this is like a blast from the past. Loved a bit of who put the colours in the rainbow, autumn days and sing hosanna 😂

didn’t like the one that went it’s up it’s up it’s UP TO YOU so much. Also didn’t like the when I needed a neighbour so much

one more step along the world was the standard year 6 leavers assembly song

If it's the same one, my class used to end it with 'it's up to USSSSSS!' all doing our best snake impressions!

oakleaffy · 26/10/2023 12:51

Reallybadidea · 26/10/2023 12:43

Brian sounds great. That story really made me smile

Superb!
Agreed, Brian sounds 😆 great!
Discipline was tougher then.

YeeHaw!!

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