She says “my kids will be disappointed” you say “That’s a shame. Where do you fancy going for lunch with me? How about old haunt or the new place?”.
I did this, she was not happy, calling me stubborn and apparently wanting things on my terms, even though I had explained that I am busy with work but can nip out for a couple of hours but my free time doesn't overlap with the dc's. This is mad as in the past, I have hosted her and her family for hours and hours and even, at times, given her lifts to and from her holiday apartment in England. Saying I can only meet by myself made her cross and a bit rude.
I worry about your insanely busy family schedule - it sounds like none of you make time for friendships. What are you all doing - is it work? Hobbies? Sport?
We do socialise a lot through the hobbies, it's sports at an intense level and a close knit community. We have many friends in the sport club and there are social activities, BBQ's, days out and such. Of course this makes life even more busy. We have much less time for friends outside of this. Close friends understand, many are busy too and we meet when we can, no pressure.
The key is that she doesn't bother to get in contact except when wanting to meet up on her UK visits. it's all on her terms isn't it?
did you not get annoyed and say something when she called you stubborn last time? if she gets in contact again, just say we're busy and have other plans, and refuse to engage further with this overbearing woman who doesn't really sound like a friend. Your dc and husband should say the same. She seems to forget you have lives and other things going on.
This is what I'm trying. I didn't reply to her instantly this time as i am crazy busy at work and she then started calling and texting my dh and got her dc to contact my dc. Pushy.
Is she American? It sounds like she is and that she’s is trying to maintain the connection between the families, which is completely understandable. But you don’t seem to like her very much and you don’t come across well using your children as an excuse. Just tell her you feel like the friendship has run its course/.
Maybe I will tell her that, It's very one sides, she drops in and wants our time, no contact in between visits. I am not using my dc as an excuse, they had made plans with friends and are unavailable on the afternoon when I am free. This is quite usual for us. How am i using the dc as an excuse in this scenario?
She sounds pushy. If you can’t meet then you can’t meet. Or you can decide what you can manage. But I’m not sure you can remain friends with someone if you don’t ever want to meet up with them! I am put off TBH.
I think she sounds normal. Also fine if you all can't make it every time she's here. But it is odd that you can't find time to be together as a family and get together with some old friends? If you don't really like her then that's okay, fade out but don't make excuses.
Our dc don't really get on that well anymore. Hers have no other friends when they visit the UK but mine obviously have their normal activities, plans and friends. I'm happy to meet one-to-one but can't facilitate more than this, this is not what she wants.
I should add that I have always accommodated very long visits at ours even when they lived here. These were never reciprocated. I'm still, in principle happy to meet, just us, but she wants family get togethers. It is normal that family get togethers change as the children get older, no? Why should my eldest miss out on a sleepover, which she has looked forward to for weeks. The only time I am available is the weekend, i work ft, and the dc have already got plans, when I am free.