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I cannot cope with these kittens anymore

192 replies

raggeddolls · 23/10/2023 12:40

I’m at my wits end. Please be kind because I am trying my best but just don’t know what to do for the best.

We used to have 2 male cats (brothers) who recently passed away within months of each other at age 15. They were Burmese and only ever went to the vets for their annual check which vets said had to be done to get flea/worm treatment.

We missed them so much that we got 2 new kittens, ragdolls. We have had them 3 months and I just can’t cope with the constant stress. They are house cats so can’t go out. Except they are both desperate to go out and sit at the door crying. We got them harnesses and took them out in the garden but that isnt enough they try to break free etc I don’t blame them why would they want to be on a lead when they want to be free!

They have so many interactive toys to try and keep them entertained but they get bored of them easily. I have another toy coming from Amazon today but they have a basket full already.

They are always trying to escape. We cannot leave the house and cannot get into the house without them trying to flee. They know the sound of the door & know putting our shoes on means we’re going out so the door will be open. Even hanging out washing is a nightmare as they sit waiting by the door for their chance.

We can no longer have any windows open. We had our bedroom window open a fraction and one of them got out and jumped. Luckily he landed in a tree and we were there at 1 in the morning on a step ladder rescuing him. Amazingly he had no injuries.

They are so fussy with their food. I have bought all the recommended Ragdoll wet food and dry food but sometimes they refuse it & then I keep trying different foods which they eat for a big then they go off it. It’s a nightmare as I get so anxious they are not eating enough.

Worst of all is that they seem to be ill
so often. They both had a sickness bug when they were 4 months old. Huge vets bill but worse was trying to get the medication down them. They look like ragdolls but neither have the relaxed temperament. Last week one of them had an eye infection, another trip to the vets. Trying to give him an eye drop twice a day is horrendous as he fights it and gets so distressed which distresses me. Just noticed the other kitten now also has picked up same eye infection which means another trip to the vets. I looked up the eye drop online which costs £4.50 but it is prescription only and the vets charge £20 just for the drop and £40 consultation fee. I have rung vets to see if they will just give me the drops without seeing him as he obviously got it from his brother but they said they need to see him. So all the stress of getting an appointment and the stress taking him to vets. They both cry and howl when they go.

I am just so stressed and wishing I’d never bought them. The vet bills are huge but more than that it’s the constant anxiety about them always being unwell, always trying to escape and trying to find something they will eat.

Ragdolls are meant to be placid creatures yet these ones are not. We visited the kittens mum and dad several times who are both friendly and viewed these kittens several times and again seemed friendly until we got them home!

Before getting these kittens I followed several Ragdoll owners on social media and their kittens are placid and gentle whereas mine are not and even cutting their nails is a struggle.

Will it get better? If I could give them back I would. The problem is I love them so much but they cause me constant anxiety. Never had this with my previous cats ☹️

OP posts:
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MolkosTeenageAngst · 23/10/2023 12:44

Do they have to be housecats? It sounds like it would be safer just to let them go outside and get used to it than to have one of them eventually escape and be outside without having built up any outdoor skills. Cats aren’t really made to be indoor only and whilst some can cope with this others don’t. If they really couldn’t be free roaming could you cat-proof some of your garden so that they could go outside?

Also, have you had the cats neutered yet? That might calm them down a bit!

CesareBorgia · 23/10/2023 12:46

They will calm down when they reach maturity; all kittens are a bit of a shock if you are used to adult cats.

Would a 'catio' be an option for letting them outside?

namestevalian · 23/10/2023 12:47

Can you get a Catio?

Interested in this thread?

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Beamur · 23/10/2023 12:47

That sounds like hard work.
They obviously really want to go outside. Do you have space for a catio? Or a run of some kind?
They sound bored despite the toys and each others company. Do you play with them? Mix up their environment? Cats love variety.
Vets bills are part and parcel of cat ownership - I have 4 cats and this is a huge consideration. I have insurance for most of them and pay for a annual health programme for 2 of them. (The others go to a different vet).

raggeddolls · 23/10/2023 12:48

They are both neutered but it’s made no difference. They are ragdolls so bred to be indoor cats only. Everything I’ve read says they must stay indoors for their own safety. Apparently because they have no sense of fear which I can confirm with the jumping out the window!

OP posts:
Beamur · 23/10/2023 12:48

If they're not neutered the desire to get out will probably get stronger as they mature.

MadeOfAllWork · 23/10/2023 12:48

Why are they house cats?

Our regular moggie was a pain when she was a tiny kitten but now at 6 months she more like a playful adult cat. But she can go outside and I’m sure that makes a difference.

raggeddolls · 23/10/2023 12:49

I do spend time playing with them. Honestly I don’t know what more I can do.

OP posts:
ReignBeauDash · 23/10/2023 12:50

What is even the point of indoor cats Confused

How much research did you do before choosing this breed and why did you want this breed? They won't be kittens forever so might settle down as they get older. Try getting some really fancy cat trees or something.

DawnMumsnet · 23/10/2023 12:50

Hi OP, we can see you're getting some helpful responses to your thread here in Chat but if you'd like us to move it to The Litter Tray topic, just let us know.

raggeddolls · 23/10/2023 12:50

They do have cat trees!

OP posts:
Dragonsandcats · 23/10/2023 12:51

To be honest if they’re that stressed and unhappy I’d let them out. Could you cat proof your garden a bit?

Bellarella · 23/10/2023 12:53

We have two ragdoll boys too. They will calm down! One of ours is desperate to escape. As a result, we have built a catio which has massively helped. It it is not large, but it appears to be enough. We have also purchase window restraints so they can sit at the window sniffing the fresh air, but can't actually push the windows open. Winter also seems to put them off trying to escape too!

MolkosTeenageAngst · 23/10/2023 12:53

What does ‘bred to be indoor cats’ even mean though? Every living thing needs to go outside. I don’t believe you can breed the need for fresh air and sunlight out of a living animal. My understanding is also that ragdoll cats are bred to be chilled, and you say that your cats are not chilled! Surely that just shows that what is the case for one cat is not the case for others and that you can’t say that your cats will or won’t like X/Y just because they’re ragdolls. Maybe most rag dolls are happy to be indoor cats, but it sounds like yours aren’t. Honestly I’d just let the cats outside, if you’re really worried then cat proof the garden so that they can’t get out of it and go beyond your own property.

FormerlyPathologicallyHappy · 23/10/2023 12:53

Catio or cat proof the garden with rollers if you can afford it. Our Persians were meant to be inside cats but decided they were not and used to moan and fight each other. We let them out.

Gruntsandgroans · 23/10/2023 12:55

We used to Foster kittens. When their kittens gave our cat sticky eye they told us to go to the chemist and buy brolene eye drops and use that. We did. It worked.

Frozenone · 23/10/2023 12:56

Not all cats have the temperament to be kept inside and yours clearly want to go out. Cat-proof your garden, install a Catio or re-home while they are young.

Octavia64 · 23/10/2023 12:57

Kittens are insane.

I have three Maine coon kittens at the moment. Their favourite thing to do is run around the house trying to kill each other. Or eat the bin.

Suggestions:

Cat tree. Preferably a large one. Really helped with mine.

If they want to go out, and you don't want them to, airlock out. So put them in a room two rooms away from the outside door. Get everyone who is leaving into the room with the outside door and no kittens. Then you can go out.

However, they clearly want to go out. Catio is your best bet with that, or supervised outside time.

PoshCoffee · 23/10/2023 13:03

No living animal is breed to stay inside 24 hours a day. You can’t blame the cats for wanting to explore outside and I’m really sorry you’re struggling so much with them, I really feel for you as you sound miserable.
As an experienced cat owner my advice is either let them out, or rehome them. It may not be what you want to hear as both have consequences but your sanity and the cats well-being should be priority in the decision making.

TurquoiseThings · 23/10/2023 13:03

'Flat Cats' screens for your windows! My only helpful suggestion.

pipindressup · 23/10/2023 13:05

Why did you move from Burmese to Ragdolls after 15 years of owning Burmese??
Did you old cats go out?
House cats are a bit of a nightmare really. I have had or at least tried to have house cats.
I has a birdman who was supposed to be indoors cat only. He became a serious escape artist to the point we had to give up. He was a massive hunter also. Lived to a ripe old age happily going out daily and hunting. We had to agree with him the house was nicer with windows open also.
I am now a Burmese owner and yes they are truly fantastic but do go out.
Are Ragdolls truly not able to cope outside? How cat like are they really?

Coldinscotland · 23/10/2023 13:06

Build an enclosure outside.. Breeding cats to intentionally keep them indoors is bloody cruel...

pipindressup · 23/10/2023 13:08

Flat cat screens btw are easily removed by a resourceful cat from personal experience. My Birman was a genius in escaping. He removed screens , learned to use window latches and doors. Plus jumped from upstairs windows. Damn scary. Yes he was neutered!

caban · 23/10/2023 13:10

No animal wants to live its life stuck inside a house.