I cannot cope with these kittens anymore

[raggeddolls]

I’m at my wits end. Please be kind because I am trying my best but just don’t know what to do for the best.

We used to have 2 male cats (brothers) who recently passed away within months of each other at age 15. They were Burmese and only ever went to the vets for their annual check which vets said had to be done to get flea/worm treatment.

We missed them so much that we got 2 new kittens, ragdolls. We have had them 3 months and I just can’t cope with the constant stress. They are house cats so can’t go out. Except they are both desperate to go out and sit at the door crying. We got them harnesses and took them out in the garden but that isnt enough they try to break free etc I don’t blame them why would they want to be on a lead when they want to be free!

They have so many interactive toys to try and keep them entertained but they get bored of them easily. I have another toy coming from Amazon today but they have a basket full already.

They are always trying to escape. We cannot leave the house and cannot get into the house without them trying to flee. They know the sound of the door & know putting our shoes on means we’re going out so the door will be open. Even hanging out washing is a nightmare as they sit waiting by the door for their chance.

We can no longer have any windows open. We had our bedroom window open a fraction and one of them got out and jumped. Luckily he landed in a tree and we were there at 1 in the morning on a step ladder rescuing him. Amazingly he had no injuries.

They are so fussy with their food. I have bought all the recommended Ragdoll wet food and dry food but sometimes they refuse it & then I keep trying different foods which they eat for a big then they go off it. It’s a nightmare as I get so anxious they are not eating enough.

Worst of all is that they seem to be ill
so often. They both had a sickness bug when they were 4 months old. Huge vets bill but worse was trying to get the medication down them. They look like ragdolls but neither have the relaxed temperament. Last week one of them had an eye infection, another trip to the vets. Trying to give him an eye drop twice a day is horrendous as he fights it and gets so distressed which distresses me. Just noticed the other kitten now also has picked up same eye infection which means another trip to the vets. I looked up the eye drop online which costs £4.50 but it is prescription only and the vets charge £20 just for the drop and £40 consultation fee. I have rung vets to see if they will just give me the drops without seeing him as he obviously got it from his brother but they said they need to see him. So all the stress of getting an appointment and the stress taking him to vets. They both cry and howl when they go.

I am just so stressed and wishing I’d never bought them. The vet bills are huge but more than that it’s the constant anxiety about them always being unwell, always trying to escape and trying to find something they will eat.

Ragdolls are meant to be placid creatures yet these ones are not. We visited the kittens mum and dad several times who are both friendly and viewed these kittens several times and again seemed friendly until we got them home!

Before getting these kittens I followed several Ragdoll owners on social media and their kittens are placid and gentle whereas mine are not and even cutting their nails is a struggle.

Will it get better? If I could give them back I would. The problem is I love them so much but they cause me constant anxiety. Never had this with my previous cats ☹️

I have ragdolls, they are allowed outside but our road isn't busy. They hardly leave the garden though and mostly choose to stay inside

Wonderful cats and full of affection

I have a bengal which is also supposed to be a house cat but he was determined to go outside. The garden fence kept him contained for 2 years until he learnt to climb it and he’s had free roaming for the past 7 years. Previously I had a Persian who similarly went outside. He ended his years as a house cat again but by his choice.

Cats want to be outside. I thought the reason for keeping them indoors was to prevent theft as they are expensive breeds?

DO NOT LET RAGDOLLS OUTSIDE! That is dreadful advice. They are not regular cats, which all carry a lot of genes in common with feral cats and know how to look after themselves! My aunt was given a Ragdoll when her neighbour went into a home. She knew best, would not listen, let it out. She found it mauled and dead in her garden and when she check CCTV saw it had be, as she put it "Making friends with an unfriendly fox". Just no. If you cannot manage give them back or sell via a specialist rehoming group.

Catio is a great idea, we have one. Alternatively you can get rollers for tops of fences which are cat escape proof!

I get what people are saying about indoor cats not being kind.
I also have a pedigree cat (not rag doll) and he is both fearless and totally lacking in any self preservation. He would be dead within minutes if he went out. Thankfully he isn’t very inclined to go outside. So I understand about not letting them out too.
However as yours are so desperate to get out, I would consider either rehoming or investing in a catio and/or cat proofing the garden so they can go out safely.
in the meantime operate an airlock system for anyone coming/going from the house and look at child latches for the windows so they can be open a little bit but not opened wider for escapees.
The vet bills are unfortunate, when you have two it’s not surprising they pass bugs between them unfortunately. Hopefully the dicky tummies was just kitten vulnerability. Maybe look at pet insurance - it won’t cover the problems they’ve had already but would give you peace of mind going forwards.

We have Ragdolls - love them. Boy/girl. But I wouldn’t get a boy again. It’s very engrained in him to protect his territory and hunt. We let them out into the garden now for an easy life. The girl mostly still stays inside. You can let them out - the reason it’s suggests they are indoors is they don’t tend to have awareness of danger like other cats so can be risky on roads and with strangers etc picking them up - but your’s don’t sound placid so I would not worry

Catproof the garden with the fencing brackets or a roller system then they won't be able to escape. It's cruel to breed animals which never get to experience fresh air. If they're confined then they'll remain safe.

Get some pet insurance as well. Veterinary treatment isn't cheap.

I had an old black moggy lady who lived to the age of 16, and then I decided to get a 6 year old black moggy from the RSPCA. Her personality is completely different compared to my older one - she acts like a big kitten playing around all the time, and is very much attention seeking all the time. I let her out frequently to help with this otherwise I'd go spare. If you get a cat flap, they'll more than likely learn to use that and then they won't jump out of the windows.

Honestly I think it's cruel to keep them in. Who decides which animals get to go outside and which don't? This pair obviously desperately want out.

I don't have any helpful advice really but just to say that if I ever get another cat (i have a dog currently so not for a while) I will definitely be building a catio - something like this:

I don't know that condemning a cat to a miserable indoor existence - to the point it cries daily - is better really, than letting it live it's natural life, even though it ended sadly.

I can't imagine it's kind to any living creature to keep it locked up inside a house for 15/20 years. Imagine never experiencing fresh air/sunlight! Must be awful!

Why did you want this for your cats?

I’d let them out tbh, even if the worst happens at least you’ll know they enjoyed life up until that point.

We had Burmese growing up, nowadays often recommended to be kept indoors as they are not at all cautious or streetwise. 2 did die young sadly but 2 lived long lives. All had their freedom and would have hated being kept in.

I love this: 😍

Wouldn't you want out if you were imprisoned in your home?

Get them a catio and work on building up enrichment inside the house for them,.High shelves and hiding places etc.

Echoing several others but a fully wire netted catio would give them the outside time they clearly desperately want. You could put it so that a window opened up into it. Training them to only go outside in that would be easier than keeping them on lockdown.

Are ragdoll kittens as placid as the adults? I've never come across any kitten that wasn't a holy terror. Maybe they'll calm down as they get older.

If you don't already have it you should get pet insurance. The more you go to the vets without it, the longer the list of pre existing conditions will get which will cost more/be excluded from insurance.

Stress can make cats ill, just a thought that it could be exasperating their issues.

I kept my first kitten in, for about a year on vets advice as she had dry eye, with constant infections and gunk build up. She was the same, always looking for a way to escape, even answering the door to someone would usually be a frantic chase to stop her escaping. Once they have figured out how to get outside, there is no stopping them.

The vet always told me stress could be contributing to the eye infections. Well, keeping her in was stressing her out the most. She would cry so loudly, scratch, climb up at doors/windows. She didn’t like us because we were always shutting her away or picking her up to stop her from getting out. It was awful and I wish I hadn’t kept her in for as long as I did.

We decided to let her out eventually (I actually posted on MN for advice, and that was the overwhelming advice from posters whose cats also had eye problems). Since she’s been allowed to go outside, she’s a completely different cat. So much calmer, and doesn’t entirely hate humans anymore. She still needs eye drops as the dry eye is lifelong but her infections are very infrequent now because she’s not as stressed. She doesn’t even go out that much, she could sit beside an open door for hours, but the option is there. When she does go out, she never leaves the garden so luckily we didn’t need an enclosure.

I would absolutely look at a catio, if ragdolls aren’t suitable to roam free. Especially as one of them has now had a taste of the outside, they are unlikely to stop trying to escape.

I feel for you OP. yes ragdolls are housecats as you say .... it is hard because they are kittens but I am sure they will calm down as they grow older.

some ideas for you:
have you thought about changing to raw food or even just homemade lightly cooked proteins and veggies+supplements? some digestive issues can be due to processed catfood.

getting a cat sitter few times a week to take the pressure off you?

I don't know what people mean when they say 'these specific cats are housecats'.

I mean, says who? They're living animals with a clear need to be outside. Stop forcing your will on the poor things.

I have a rag doll and he goes out. There’s no way he would stay in! He’s 6 now and has been out since he had his injections as a kitten.

I lost my elderly Persians within 8 months of each other & got 2 new kitten Persians.

Was told to keep them in for their safety & I had a life
like yours (kittens were also a big shock after 2 oldies) eventually I cat proofed the garden so they couldn’t get out(they did!) and we all lived happily ever after! One died young (not from anything related to bring out) & one lived to nearly 13.

Kittens are hard work but settle when older but I would def try & find a way to let them out.

Honest, genuine, non goady question - why can't they go outside?

Just let them outside. They sound like they are miserable inside. Microchip them and let them on their merry way.

Up thread a couple of posters have said that breed have no sense of danger and that's why it's recommended that they are kept indoors.

I didn't know that either.