On the whole, what age did your friends start getting divorced?

[Fishandchipsatthebeach]

I was talking about relationships with an older friend (I’m early 40s, she’s 50s). I said that most of my married friends are seemingly happy (on the surface at least, who knows what goes on behind closed doors) and that I can’t currently envisage any of them splitting up.

She said “just you wait, the divorces will come around 45-50”. Which sounds a bit negative to me but maybe I am naive??

So, if you are aged 40+, have many of your friends / acquaintances divorced, and was there an age it all started happening at?

I'm strange late 50s and don't have any divorced friends.

One cheated on his wife and they were 30. Another set of friends got divorced, they were early 30s. One of my friends kicked her partner out mid 30s. We are in our 40s now and although other friends moan about partners, I can't see anyone else splitting. But you never know.

It was mid 40s for lots of people I know. I was devastated when my husband left me just before I turned 40 and remember saying to my solicitor how I was the only person out of all my friends who was getting divorced. She said it’ll be a very different picture and 10 years time. She was right - I turned 50 recently and at least 6 couples I know have split in the last 5 years.

I’m in my forties and married a divorcee at 24 (he was 32). Of my friends only 2 have divorced, 1 is (late 30’s) but this was due to her husband being a gambling addict that kicked off in her 1st year of marriage and she put up with it for another 6yrs. And another had only been married a few years though had been together a long time and I think they’d just grew apart (they were mid to late 30’s when it happened)
my friends ages are (30-55) and I can’t envisage any of them will split but you just never know!

Im mid 40's. There were a flurry within 5 years of getting married in my mid 30's. Now I can thonk of a handful of
Similarly aged friends I suspect will dovorce in the next 5 years. Lots of sleeping in seperate rooms already. Also, lots of affairs being discovered (some historic).

I had three acquiatances that were twice divorced by the time they were in their early 30s but i think that has a lot to do with the religious community.

Oddly those that i know married very young e.g. 21 and 22 and still together in their late 30s. i know a couple of other divorces but all were early-mid 30s and the marriages barely lasted a year

I was probably the first in my friendship group to go through separation then divorce and I was 35. But quite a few more have followed over the years in their late 30s and early 40s. Also have some friends who have married a divorcee and are still together. Have plenty other friends who have stayed together though.

Only a couple of my friends have got divorced so far, but yes, they were both in their forties.

I.e. two couples have got divorced.

I'd say it happens earlier - 30's definitely. Those in the 50's are because people have stayed together for the kids.

I’m 50, among my good friends six or seven divorces, mainly from 45 onwards, including me. Lots unhappily married too who can’t imagine the marriage lasting once kids have all left home - lots of people admit their own problems when you tell them you’re separating!

Of my 6 closest female friends, 4 broke up with their significant others in their 40s.

Divorced at 42 (married 7 years)
Divorced at 44 (married 20 years)
Separated at 48 (not married, but together for 12 years and have a child)
Separated at 45 (not married but together 15 years with two kids).

To be honest, I saw it coming with three of them. Lots of obvious difficulties in the marriage.

One was a shocker though. He announced he was having an affair with one of my friend’s other close friends and moved out the same day. He is now marrying said ‘friend’. He seemed such a quiet, content sort of chap.

Within my close friendship group 2 couples have gone through a divorce late 40's/early 50's
Within my wider friendship group and colleagues I can recall 4 couples that are divorced. The most shocking one was a close friend who told me (aged 52) that now her youngest had left home she was divorcing her husband. She said she'd had over 20 years of raising her children and was sure as hell not going to continue to be his mother. She said she was fed up of picking up after him and him acting like a teenage boy, apparently she came home after being at work all day and the house was a tip, no meal cooked and no cleaning done and a 'switch flipped' she told him there and then she was done. She said she wanted to be free for the next 30 years, not his slave! 😳

I was 34 and it broke my heart

Myself, and seven of my closest friends all got divorced at the same time. We had all been with partners for 20-22 years, and were aged 45-50
Kids getting older was probably the trigger for some, finding that you don’t have a lot else in common.

Early 40s no divorces in either of our groups of friends

Late 40s here and one friend divorced at 30 after 3 years of marriage as DH left her. One in early 40s because of her DH's extreme mental health issues, and another more recently also because of DH extreme mental health issues. The last two wouldn't have been able to afford their divorces (they were the main bread winners and wanted to keep family homes, but had to pay out a fortune to ex-DHs) without the financial support of parents/grandparents. I see many of my friends dissatisfied with their marriages, but bumble along for the sake of lifestyle and DCs.

I'm 70 and we mostly married younger than people do now, hence I know people who divorced in their 20s. I also know people who divorced in their 30s, 40s and 50s. Many remarried. One friend is twice divorced. I remarried and am widowed now. Most people I know of my age are no longer with their first spouse.
Will the divorce rate be lower now that people marry later?

My husband and I have been married for 41 years, most or our friends something similar - between 35 and 45 years. One was divorced and remarried nearly 20 years ago. Not exactly an epidemic 😅

Someone commented about not knowing relationship history of friends. My friendship group are all mums from the playground. Apart from those who I know have been together since college, and another who posted about their 20th anniversary on Facebook (aged 45 so assume 1st/only marriage), I genuinely wouldn't have a clue if anyone is on their 2nd marriage. So they may be contributing to the divorce stats but I don't know. Actually it was only at a birthday party last year I learned that my kid's friends' dad wasn't her brother's dad. So possibly my mum friend has been married previously.
We're friends who talk on the playground, go out for food and drinks and dancing etc but we've not had proper heart to hearts so history stuff is unknown.

I have known a couple in the 30s. And someone I knew from school had a less than 1 year marriage in their 20s that seemed to implode very quickly.

I’m in my 50s. Only have one couple in our friendship group/family who got divorced, a couple of years after getting married in their 30s. It was an ill-advised marriage and thankfully there were no children. Everyone else happily married. We all married late though (mid-30s).

Of my close friends, none, however of my wider circle of acquaintances there had been a flurry of marriages breaking up when 50ish blokes go off with younger women, these are all " high status" blokes with well paid jobs who work long hours or travel a lot with a wife who mostly stayed at home with the kids.
I made friends with these women, who were all very nice intelligent women, not snobby or bitchy, when our kids were at nursery and playgroup but they all went on to the local prep school where my lot went to the local state schools. I used to be mildly envious of their lifestyles but DH met some of the husbands at various events and the ones he thought were arseholes are exactly the ones who had affairs.
Why did these nice women marry such dicks? I think most met at uni when they were on a level but I can only assume they all had their egos massaged by their jobs and started to think they were more important than their wives.

I only have 1 friend who got divorced - he was about 55 and she was about 40. Sad as they had young kids. She suspects he was having an affair as he had a seemingly overnight change of heart. It did turn out he'd been a total dick to her for many years.

In our main friendship circle there's been one couple (on the fringes) divorce after about 2 years, in their early 30s. He walked in on her shagging someone else.

We've been married the longest out of our friends (14 years) in our mid-30s; we still get on well, have regular sex, are loyal (not just not cheating, but we don't slag each other off either!) etc but life is tough at the moment. I think it will bring us together, not push us apart, but having kids is hard bloody work, taking a toll on even the best of marriages.

I’m 45 and no divorces yet but I don’t know anyone who was married before 30, and most were in their mid thirties or older.

So I don’t know if we’re just lucky or if it hasn’t had time to happen yet!