On the whole, what age did your friends start getting divorced?

[Fishandchipsatthebeach]

I was talking about relationships with an older friend (I’m early 40s, she’s 50s). I said that most of my married friends are seemingly happy (on the surface at least, who knows what goes on behind closed doors) and that I can’t currently envisage any of them splitting up.

She said “just you wait, the divorces will come around 45-50”. Which sounds a bit negative to me but maybe I am naive??

So, if you are aged 40+, have many of your friends / acquaintances divorced, and was there an age it all started happening at?

I was divorced aged 34. Should never have got married really but it seemed like a good idea at the time.

That is so very sad.

Honestly I don't understand why anyone gets married anymore with the high rate of divorce these days. You just spend a ton on a fancy attention seeking day and then pay a fortune in legal fees divorcing later down the line.

When youngest child gets to 18/19 seems to be a thing.
Second marriages early to mid fifties.

Early 20s. So married young and in haste. Everyone who was a little older and had known their partner a while are still married. I'm mid 40s so who knows...

I'm mid 50s. Married at 24, divorced at 32 when he left for his married OW. We had no kids. They are still together with one kid. He has apparently has had other affairs.

I remarried 5 years later. Two DC.

Few friends who married in 20s divorced within 5 years...none had kids. One friend married 3 times, now divorced again at 55

My friends are in their getting married for the first time phase. But I talked about this with my brothers. Brother1 all friends have been married for 20+ years, no divorces in social group. Brother2 divorces started between 38-42. In the last 2 years he's attended several weddings for the second round. So based on this I'd say it starts around 40. And then at 45 there will re-marriages.

Somewhat similar here - none of my friendship group have divorced (late 40s), and much as you don’t know what’s happening behind closed doors I find it very hard to imagine anyone is less than rock solid. Though I do know a few people in my extended network (colleagues, people I know through hobbies etc) who have divorced/separated.

As someone else said, in my observation divorces seem to cluster. My friendship group is quite ‘boring’ - most people married fairly late, didn’t marry particularly early in their relationship, aren’t emotionally volatile, quite family focused. Also mostly middle class without major financial worries. I don’t think any of that is any guarantee of a happy marriage but they don’t really point to a high risk of divorce..

I am 29 (DH 31) and I know a fair number of people who are married similar ages to us. We got married nearly 5 years ago but have been together 10 years.

1 woman was engaged 3 times and is now on her second marriage - she’s 30.
1 couple got married just before us and they split up last year.
1 couple got married just after us and have recently separated.
1 couple got married just before us and have been on the brink of divorce many times. He’s an abusive arsehole though so I live in hope she’ll realise she’s worth so much more than him. She is 38 and he is in his 40s.

As far as I know/can remember, that’s it though.

Early 50s. Big cluster of divorces and rocky marriages, a few have stayed together ‘for the kids’ but really shouldn’t have!

Forgot my DM’s friend who is just starting divorce proceedings recently at nearly 60. Long time coming though because he is emotionally, financially and psychologically abusive.

I only have one set of friends who are married. Everyone else just cohabits and has been together a long time but not tied the knot (including us). The married couple have only been married 5 years so early days - the woman is in her 40s and the man thirties.

I have 9 friends, all late 40s/early 50s. 3 of them divorced early on (late 20s/ early 30s). Now, all but one of us have been married/in same relationship for 20+ years.

I’m 31 and I can only think of a couple of people my age who are divorced. One childhood friend who got married at 18 (to a SIXTEEN YEAR OLD) who was divorced by 20 (surprise, surprise). And one who left an abusive marriage.

Depends on the basis of the statistics. I suspect it's simply total number of divorces overall, so it's not 50% of the population getting divorced, it's 1 divorce per 2 population. The numbers are skewed because some people get married/divorced more than once, some several times. Remember, there are lies, damned lies and statistics!

Early thirties, me included. But lots still happy now in our forties.

I'm late 30s and one friend is going through a divorce, 1 as just got remarried and 2 have been divorced awhile. Another is going through a divorce after a few weeks of marriage but that never came as a suprise really. She moved to the other side of the country as she split with long term partner(15 yrs) with whom she had 2 kids. She moved summer of 21 met this man, got pregnant, had a baby married him and is now divorced. I'd love to marry my partner but he's really against it and the amount I see getting divorced it's just not worth it.

In our circles it’s been around 45ish. Mostly driven by the women- I suspect a lot of it is down to women being fed up with taking the brunt of responsibility during the children’s younger years but putting up with it for the sake of being at home with the kids etc and then as the kids get older and less reliant on them (older teens etc) the women hit the menopause and literally just have enough of doing everyone else’s shit and want to be on their own.

In my 60s and no divorces yet.

Only friends and family we know you've got divorced are two of DH's friends. One was around 35, been married 15 years. The other at 55, been married 23 years but together 30 - and I'm surprised he stuck it out that long😉

I’ve heard first marriages rate of divorce is less than 50% but the rate for second marriage and third marriages is significantly higher which helps bring the overall figure up.

The divorce rate among my friends must be less than 10%. So ironically even though my parents were divorced, as an adult I’ve been surrounded by happy marriages of my social circle and don’t feel bleak about the prospect of having a lifelong marriage. Also out of the ones who divorced, for the most part you could have seen it coming before they even married.

I also think not everyone tells everyone they’ve been divorced previously. I’m in my second marriage. I was married and divorced before 25. I don’t bother to tell anyone about it. Everyone thinks dh and I have always been together. I can’t be bothered to correct them.

That is interesting, yeah I’m sure not everyone knows everyone marital history. However I’ve known majority of my married friends since they were 18 or even from childhood and out of the few I met more recently I know them well enough to know if they were married before or not.

I wouldn’t know with most of my colleagues or other loose acquaintances, and not something I’d ask of course, but I don’t count colleagues etc when I think of the divorce rate among my social circle. I count my social circle as actual friends.

They said quite a few of their friends’ parents planned to split once their youngest headed off to uni.

This happened to a friend of mine. They stayed together to pay for school fees, then when the youngest went to university off the husband went.

Late 20s. Only divorce - so far - in our circle and we're now all in our 60s.