On the whole, what age did your friends start getting divorced?

[Fishandchipsatthebeach]

I was talking about relationships with an older friend (I’m early 40s, she’s 50s). I said that most of my married friends are seemingly happy (on the surface at least, who knows what goes on behind closed doors) and that I can’t currently envisage any of them splitting up.

She said “just you wait, the divorces will come around 45-50”. Which sounds a bit negative to me but maybe I am naive??

So, if you are aged 40+, have many of your friends / acquaintances divorced, and was there an age it all started happening at?

I'm 47 and none of my friends are divorced

I’m 45, three divorces in my peer group.

I’m 50+yo and my two closest friends have both git divorced in their 30s, married/partnership again. One is separated again (in her late 50s), the other on the brink of divorce (late 40s)

Those that have got divorced have been late 20s and early 30s.

The 50+ are still together

Average age is apparently mid to late 40s

I always puzzle over this because apparently 50% marriages still end in divorce but I struggle to find anyone in my social circle, family, colleagues, even friends of friends etc who are divorced. I’m including long term cohabiters too. I think pp may be onto something about age of the children over age of the couple as I’m late forties but most people I know have children under the age of 10.

I'm early 40s but we were quite late to get married, prob 28-33 so they'd be short marriage's if we started getting divorced now.
One divorced, married at 25 and remarried at 38. One which hopefully won't make it to the 10 year mark. Rest seemingly doing ok

Im early 50s,
A few friends divorced/ separated late 30s/ early 40s. They had all been with their partners since teens/ early 20s.
Havent recently had any friends separate or divorce touch wood.
So in my( limited!) experience late 30s/ early 40s is the danger zone

I’m in my fifties none of my close friends are divorced. We’ve all been married 30+ years. We don’t see much of our best man anymore (lives in another country) but he married at 24 and they separated within a year, he subsequently married again and has been married for 20 years.

I don’t know why so many people think divorce is inevitable.

Just one divorce in my friendship group when her kids were about 5 and 3....we're all in our 40s with kids. As far as I know everyone's marriages are good, but they'd all say the same about me and mine fluctuates from ok to bad on a regular basis.
Cost of living is definitely a factor in me not just giving up on it. As my kids get older I worry more about the impact of divorce on them (aged 10 and 12) as I think younger would be less harmful, but then I know being in an unhappy house isn't good for them either. Funnily enough, I don't think the kids leaving home will be the end of us. If we're still together then I think we'll make it. We get on well and are great friends. Our sources of conflict are parenting related and general life stress making dh snappy and short tempered. He's only relaxed with a drink in hand.

I was moaning to my 'boyfriend' all through my mid twenties to mid thirties that friends who had met after us were getting married and we still weren't! Well, now I'm nearly 41 and we got married 5 years ago.

Out of the weddings we went during that time five have divorced and only one is still together.

Bizarrely, I was having exactly the same conversation with a friend in her 30s this morning.

Got married early 20s, as did lots of our friends.

5 couples, including me, broken up. Youngest was 38, oldest 46. All married 15 years+

I'm late 30s, and my friends have only just started getting married in the last few years.

None of my long term friends have divorced. I was last to get married and will be celebrating 25yrs next year. My sister has been divorced twice. The first one was at 35 ( cheated on her) the second one was an alcoholic, everyone else could see it but she soldiered on thinking he would change. Now she is with someone who she has known for 30+ yrs and very happy.
A few of DS’s school year had divorced parents, it was interesting that they tended to group together as friends. DS’s friend group of about 12 boys all had parents who’d been married for years. Observational but interesting.

I don't think you can ever predict divorce from being on the outside. We never really know what is going in behind closed doors. To think that you might be able to predict divorce by just looking at people and presuming they are happy just seems naive. Divorce happens all the time.
I've had friends divorce late 20s, in their 30s and in their 40s. Not got to my 50s yet but have friends who are also divorcing in their 50s. Also have many friends who are very happy in their marriages/relationships.

Total mixed bag, two are on a third marriage, three others divorced after the pandemic, three had affairs but are still married, not too sure if their OHs know, the rest seem happy enough, another has an open marriage. I'm nearly 50. I just keep my mouth shut.

45

I'm in my late 50s, and have been divorced 7 years. All of the couples whose weddings we went to when we were in our 20s and 30s are divorced now. And all but one of my friends now are divorced.

Your friend is right. Coincides with menopause and children being more independent.

Very few of my friends/acquaintances have got divorced, but yeah I'd say 45-50 is the age at which most of them have happened. It seems to be around 10-15 years into the marriage is the point where the ones that are going to implode, do. Most people seem to get through the early years in the trenches with kids, go back to work, and then real grind starts and that's when the weak marriages fail or the weak husbands cheat or people's drinking gets out of hand.

Of the people whose weddings we went to

E&G split up early mid-30s (it seemed amicable enough)
F&G were 30-31 (also appeared amicable)
D&B were 29-30 (he slept with a 19-yo, probably because he was terrified he'd be a crap dad)
C&S were 36-38 with two young children (he left her for a teenager, plus a whole hideous side story)
S&K were 45 with no children (possibly relevant)
J&D were 45ish with two teenagers and another hideous story
Oh, and M&J: still together, but J's first marriage had ended in her 20s

On our street
W&L were 40 with a 9yo
S&V were ?40-50? with 4 children about 8-18
W&M were in their 50s with one young adult offspring

Wider local acquaintance - R&A were early 50s with three teens to early 20s (he had an affair, silly man)
T&F were ?mid-30s with young children (not sure exactly what he did, we were never given the details of why he left...)

Doesn't really seem to be much of a pattern.

I’m in my 40s and most people I know have never been married - the ones I know who are have married are all on their second or third marriage.

is it just divorces you mean or general break ups?

I’m unmarried but my relationship is approaching 25 years.

Early 40's with my friends. 3 different couples. Youngest child around 4/5 in each case.

It's not just husbands that cheat. In my previous post I said I know of 3 couples who have divorced recently. Out of those 3...2 of the women cheated.

That was in response to cheezncrackers