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Original poster

On the whole, what age did your friends start getting divorced?

150 replies

Fishandchipsatthebeach · 05/10/2023 13:58

I was talking about relationships with an older friend (I’m early 40s, she’s 50s). I said that most of my married friends are seemingly happy (on the surface at least, who knows what goes on behind closed doors) and that I can’t currently envisage any of them splitting up.

She said “just you wait, the divorces will come around 45-50”. Which sounds a bit negative to me but maybe I am naive??

So, if you are aged 40+, have many of your friends / acquaintances divorced, and was there an age it all started happening at?

OP posts:
thegreylady · 05/10/2023 15:24

I have no divorced friends. I do have a cousin who divorced in her late 30s.

Cakecakecheese · 05/10/2023 15:32

I was 35 and have 3 friends who were also divorced in their thirties.

User767463 · 05/10/2023 15:34

I think it depends more on the ages of the children rather than a "late 30s, early 40s" window. There is usually a rise in divorce before kids are 2 and another one when the kids are 8-10. The second wave are probably those who were already miserable since the kids were small but it was too difficult (especially for the mother) to do it all alone. Once the kids are more independent and don't need supervision for every aspect of their life, then divorce is a realistic option.

I do know 4 couples who had very quick divorces (less than 2 years married) but all were extremely rushed relationships and fairly ill-fated from the start. Two long distance where the realities of living together wasn't considered, one was a Vegas marriage, one was a marriage immediately out of uni.

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Badbadbunny · 05/10/2023 15:35

Very few divorces amongst family, friends and work colleagues. One divorced very early, in her early 20's after just a year of marriage. Another divorced around 50 years old due to stress of having a daughter with MH issues that broke them apart. Most are still married (apparently happily?), and we're all in our 50s or early 60s.

Aguinnessplease · 05/10/2023 15:45

I left university in 1994 and would estimate that perhaps up to 40% of my uni friends are divorced. Sadly it’s a higher percentage for those who married partners they met at university.

Lara53 · 05/10/2023 15:46

40 ish for several friends and 48 for me after 15 years of marriage 😫

FrostieBoabby · 05/10/2023 15:46

The ones I know tends to be when the kids are mid teens rather than the couples age. Either Dad gets his head turned by a younger model or Mum finally realises her Mothering years are about finished and she'll be left with her untidy and pointless DH unless she gets out before it's too late.

Summonedbybees · 05/10/2023 15:47

It is a fact that couples who marry after divorce are far more likely to divorce a second time

LoveStHelier · 05/10/2023 15:50

3 friends all divorced in their early 30s.

Summonedbybees · 05/10/2023 15:51

This can affect divorce stats. Also divorce is much more likely in communities suffering financial deprivation. So the divorce stats can be skewed and don't apply evenly across society as a whole.

gotomomo · 05/10/2023 16:02

One school friend had got through 2 husbands by 25! My closest friend divorced in late 30's I was late 40's 20 years married which seems to be a bit of a trend- I know several others personally and there were several high profile celebs who split up around the same time as my marriage ended similar aged, long marriages

Silkiebunny · 05/10/2023 16:08

No close friends are divorced though could see kids leaving home could be a trigger.

ASGIRC · 05/10/2023 16:11

Only 1 friend got divorced, before 40.
All others are still together and seemingly happy. All in their 40s 50s

Ggttl · 05/10/2023 16:21

3 got married and divorced in their 20’s. It didn’t surprise anyone. The rest still together. Some affairs and wobbles but still together.

DresdenDoll · 05/10/2023 16:24

I've known 4 in the last year - all early-mid 40s.

VesperLynne · 05/10/2023 17:03

Only one close friend, in her 40's. I asked her if she regretted it, it was her decision. She said she regretted hurting him so much but thought they could at least agree terms for the sake of the kids. She never saw or heard from him again. Even a private inquiry agency couldn't find him. Their guess was he was no longer resident in this country.

RampantIvy · 05/10/2023 17:05

Most of my friends are still married (I'm 65)
The ones who divorced got divorced quite young and have been with their second husbands for more than 20 years.

SaracensMavericks · 05/10/2023 17:05

Hardly any of my friends have got divorced (yet). I'm 49.

Sonolanona · 05/10/2023 17:05

None of my Uni friends are divorced (we are all mid 50s now) Nor my (few) local friends or colleagues. Maybe we are an anomaly!

My DD1 is sadly going through a divorce at 31. Sad because no one wants that, it turned out her soon to be ex was a coercive controlling cheat...who is trying to delay everything. Luckily no children!

My dh and I joke that neither of us could be bothered with the hassle ..we just make sure we have our own hobbies so we don't drive each other mad :)

Parky04 · 05/10/2023 17:33

4 of us are in our 50s, and all have been married for 25+ years. The other 2 got divorced in their 40s after pretty short marriages.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 05/10/2023 17:37

30-35

Stressfordays · 05/10/2023 17:56

I'm 33 (and divorced). I have 2 friends in my age range who are divorced. I have quite a lot of friend in their 40s who are all recently divorced.

I know a lot of single Mums though who have never been married. A lot of my friends are only just starting to marry! Its not uncommon. I'm single currently but my dc are still young so I keep saying I'm holding out 10 years for the next round of divorces until I look for a new partner 🤣

MrsAlgernon · 05/10/2023 18:06

One friend in early 40s finally separated after putting up with him for almost 20 yrs.

One whose husband decided to go trans. (Early 30s)

Otherwise surprisingly none of our uni friends. My school had more "working class" - quite a few of them had divorces in 20s, before having longer 2nd marriage.

Only 1 person I have ever known on 3rd or more marriage.

I am in 40s

Phewyou · 05/10/2023 18:22

Had a female friend who caught her husband doing some nasty stuff and she was about to but realised she was stuck with 3 kids and he probably wouldn’t pay alimony so I’m guessing she didn’t go through with it which is a shame as he is a loser!

Reugny · 05/10/2023 18:23

@User767463 lots of my divorced friends and acquaintances have or had no children when they divorced.

Most people I know who are divorced got married in their early to mid-20s. Then started separating and getting divorced from early 30s to early 40s.

Some have gone on to remarry but lots haven't.

Should add people I know vary in age from late 20s to 90s. The person in their 90s has been with their partner - who is my friend and a divorcee - for about 35 years.

I do know people who have been divorced more than twice but they are friends' parents.