In the past 18 months I have lost a lot of weight and am now in my mid 40's the fittest and most shapely I have been since my teens. I lost the weight 75lbs pretty slowly and it was only really this summer that I started to wear clothes in my new size and more fitted not skin tight or anything just to show my shape a bit.
In many ways it has been really nice feeling a bit more confident since losing weight and being able to wear some nice clothes for once in my life but I had assumed that in my mid 40's even if I lost weight men wouldn't really notice me due to being older. However I was wrong about that. I did lose weight briefly (quickly put it all back on in my mid 20's) and I really noticed going from invisible or even contemptible to men suddenly trying to chat me up or even harassing me. I wouldn't say it was the reason I gained weight again but I really hated the attention and one bonus of being fat is that I felt I could go about my life in a little bubble and nobody really noticed me.
Again I haven't really had to deal with this before in my adult life, I have been with my partner since I was 16 and we are very happy together so I am not looking for male attention either. Its just things like walking the dog this summer on the same trail I've walked for years and suddenly men never bothered to even say hello before are now striking up conversations, smiling and asking about my personal life, on the train men start chatting, asking what I am reading, where I am off to, never happened before, in the supermarket, library or the street they look and smile (I know this doesn't sound to bad but I'm not used to it at all).
I did go out with my partners sister to a night out recently when one of her friends dropped out and again I felt like men were up my humph the whole night although I can't really compare because I haven't done nights out in decades and so perhaps that is just normal. My partners sister was joking after saying DP would have to "put a ring on it" because the men were all over me. We do plan to get married next year actually.
I feel now that when I am going out I am reaching for my old baggy clothes that are now to big just cover myself up, I am not really a make up person anyway but I just hate to feel like I am attracting attention to myself. I want to feel fit and look nice for myself but I just want to be left alone. I should feel so happy with everything I have achieved but I end up feeling like I want to hide away and I don't want to feel that way. I know many women including confident bigger women have always dealt with this but it is so disconcerting to suddenly be dealing with what feels like a lot of male attention in my 40's.