DP, when stressed, has a particularly arsey habit of, when pulling the DC up on something, and they say "Sorry," he'll curtly say "I don't care if you're sorry!" followed up with something like "What matters is that you don't do it again," or "That's what you said last time," or similar. He also shuts down any attempt at explaining, brushing it off as 'excuses'. This will be over something really minor like leaving crumbs on a worktop or not pushing bikes fully under the lean to bikeshed.
Our DC are well behaved, thoughtful and don't do things out of spite or carelessness. Their "Sorry" is genuine and sincere, never said in a 'whatever' kind of way. When he does this, I genuinely dislike him. It's like he is taking away the dignity of the DC of being able to try to put things right.
If they didn't say sorry, they'd be pulled up on that instead.
If they get upset, he'll say something really weird like "I'm sorry you're upset, but you shouldn't have done X in the first place." WhoTF follows a 'sorry' with a 'but'!?
I've tried to explain that it's a shitty way of expressing his irritation, and that he needs to be open to someone's apology if he's going to raise a grievance, but he has a complete blind spot about it, despite it being his children.
He is capable of doing this in a more neutral way normally, but when in a rush or otherwise under pressure, seems to lose the capacity to do it without some kind of weird rank-pulling.
Can anyone suggest a better way of explaining this to him? I am convinced I'm right about this, but equally, if you think DP hasn't done anything wrong, please explain how this is fine.