Well. Here we are.

[Fordian]

Right now, after 19 years, I'm bowing out of MN.

I've dipped in and out, many names, banned once for suggesting kids with severe educational problems won't make great health care professionals; iCod etc etc.

But. Seriously. It's now like Twitter with vibes.

I wish you well. And am sorry you didn't get to experience MN at its best 10-15 years ago.

21 years 🙂

I also disagree. The only change is that it's bigger so there are more "twitter" threads alongside the serious/supportive ones. How could there not be? There are thousands more posters.

Go to reddit, OP.

That is equally, if not more, toxic!

I see loads of amazingly thoughtful and supportive responses.
You're over generalising. Bye though!

Hi.

Been here under other names since around 2007 I think.

Plenty of other posters still from that era who have name changed a lot though.

As nice as the 2000s were, and as troubled as the 2020s are, I'm glad it's not still the 2000s...

I have been here for 21 years, my DS learned how to make and butter toast during ……………I think it was Judge Flounce, could have been Kamal Stiletto or Amanda 1………either way MN is still here.

We have woolly hugs for people who need, well a woolly hug.

We did a Mile for Maude very successfully.

In the early days there was a poster, who shall remain nameless who was in a dreadful marriage and decided to end it all, MNers trawled back through her posts and figured out where she lived and a more local MNer called the emergency services.

Who can forget Peter and his rollercoaster journey in a quest for a heart transplant.

Lavenderrrrr

The red blanket

Fora’s come and go and ebb and flow of them changes over time.

Still here.

I guess it depends what boards you hang out on.
The Education and SN boards are overwhelmingly supportive.

I do see @Fordian ‘s point, so boringly often there’s a pile on with posters desperately trying to be more cutting, more clever, more mean girl if you will.

i know that has always happened but it does seem that in a society that’s supposed to be more aware of others, considerate and empathetic, out-vipering each other really does jar.

ive had incredible support when emerging from an abusive relationship, wonderful women also there for me when my birth family totally and utterly imploded.

I value these women so much. I’ve done my best to pay it all forward to help others

I did hide the site during covid, it was just fucking ridiculous on here and I just couldn’t bear it

I've been here for 20yrs.

On balance, I preferred it back in t'day. It was smaller, wittier and no AIBU.

But you just vote with your feet I suppose.

I have flounced off MN a few times over the years and always came back with new user names. The responses to my first post about 14 years ago escalated into mocking me and everyone saying the same thing, like they hadn't even read the thread just dumped their samey shitty input and fucked off. Whenever I see this now I don't bother carrying on reading the thread, it's boring. What brought me back here though is there is always some good advice or a good suggestion for food, books, DIY, clothes...as others have already said on this thread (I have read it)😃

What I meant to add was, perhaps as we ourselves move through life we evolve too, so somethings become less relevant/interesting etc

I also expect that there were women who came here for support 15 years ago and left feeling like utter shit because the cliques didn't like what they heard.

It would be utterly weird if things didn't change in 15 years tbh. I've been reading threads about colostrum harvesting as I'm 36 weeks, and there's lots of posters jumping on to say "my kids are happy and healthy 15yos and I never did this".

Well, whoopdefuckingdo. That's not very helpful to a pregnant woman who's asking about experiences about current advice, is it?

(And FWIW, there are supportive posts about how to do it and not worrying about it either!)

Although I’ve never counted, my kids are now 20 so I must have been on that long. U OK hun?

I also expect that there were women who came here for support 15 years ago and left feeling like utter shit because the cliques didn't like what they heard.

100%, and also if they had poor spelling and grammar. That really was the shittiest part back then imo.

Thankfully it's a lot less 'cool' to look down on posters for poor SPAG and to rip the piss out of them.

It took far too long for that tide to start turning though and it's not quite there yet.

UCM is that you ??😂😂

It’s definitely changed, it’s a very different place but I think it’s what you make it.
As my dc grew I use mn very differently.

I've been here for almost 20 years and I did prefer it back then, I liked recognising names and having funny in jokes.

Things change though, after the SWAT shit I name change weekly, and it's so big here now it was bound to change.

Anyway. CAT me, you cunt

Thing is OP, you’re contributing to the very thing you’re complaining about with this post. No one was forcing you to stay - you could have just quietly exited without trying to wound everyone as you did so.

Your post essentially is saying “This thing that you all enjoy is shit, and you weren’t part of the in-gang.”

And yet, despite quite an unpleasant, unnecessary post you’ve actually had a barrage of considered, well-thought out responses reflecting on societal change and providing good advice.

Also a few quite curt (sometimes funny) responses which I don’t think is surprising given your OP and follow-up comments about “wimmin”.

This whole post is a mini snapshot of the wisdom of MN and shows how your accusations are a real over-simplification, and why MN is still such a valuable resource.

Having said that, it’s always healthy to step away if you’re not enjoying a social media platform so sounds like a good decision for you, and all the best OP.

I joined 17 years ago and my main memory of MN at the time is lots of extremely toxic threads arguing about breastfeeding vs FF. Also lots of mindless nonsense which is what kept me here TBH. And loads of people starting threads because they thought they were threadkillers due to not being in the IT Squad.

I've been here that long! It still has the same essence, but it's much bigger now of course.

It really was, I see far less of the cliques now

I've been here since 2005, so that's not true.

It always surprises me when people talk about the golden age of MN and mention iCod as an example. The original Mean Girl.

Boring.

I've been here 17 years +.

Off you pop if you're popping.

Wasn’t that OP giving an example of her own previous usernames? 🤣

I agree that there are probably loads of men posting just for the crack which changes the tone of debate. MN baiting is very much a thing.
Suspect there are also a couple of posters here to test the political water and definitely influence it. Remember how back in 2020 there were loads of weird posts about how lockdown should be lifted and that let a forth a floodgate of posters demanding it too. Very much in the same vein as Dom Cummings’ nudge theory.
Then the regular posters who just churn out loads of cut and paste political stuff.
There was one around 2014-16 who essentially shut down any debate about Brexit, post after post of anti EU stuff. Disappeared afterwards never to be seen again.