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Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Well. Here we are.

140 replies

Fordian · 30/09/2023 23:45

Right now, after 19 years, I'm bowing out of MN.

I've dipped in and out, many names, banned once for suggesting kids with severe educational problems won't make great health care professionals; iCod etc etc.

But. Seriously. It's now like Twitter with vibes.

I wish you well. And am sorry you didn't get to experience MN at its best 10-15 years ago.

OP posts:
EfficientlyDecluttering · 01/10/2023 00:01

Yes, I've been here all that time too. It has changed, fewer familiar names, a lot less in-jokes and banter. I hid AIBU years ago so maybe don't see the worst of it but it's still a brilliant place for information and support in the specialised subject areas.

MiddleParking · 01/10/2023 00:01

Certainly sounds like a bit less time on the internet will do no harm.

Findyourneutralspace · 01/10/2023 00:02

Autumnunmasks · 30/09/2023 23:58

Me neither, never even been told off!

Or me! I joined in 2001 when I was pregnant with my oldest. Lots of things in the world aren’t exactly the same as they were then

NoSquirrels · 01/10/2023 00:02

Fordian · 30/09/2023 23:58

Seriously, check your X feed, then this, they're the same.

Waaay back, 19 years, this was a resource for women, mums, looking for support.

Can you seriously say it is now?

Why do you think it isn’t a source of support for women? That’s not what I see. I see many women cheering other women on.

Confirmation bias is a real thing.

EfficientlyDecluttering · 01/10/2023 00:04

I've never been banned or told off either and only a couple of posts deleted. I don't use X. I have made so many friends here, I don't know what I'd do without some of them.

pyjamalife · 01/10/2023 00:07

Heading over to Flouncers Corner?

SirenSays · 01/10/2023 00:08

It's a strange place. The support here can be incredible, especially on the bereavement threads but then on the other hand, I've seen women torn to shreds for absolutely no reason to the point where even after MNHQ reminding people this is supposed to be a supportive place, they've had to pull the thread because people won't stop being cruel. Some people will do anything to earn the Viper title.

Doyoumind · 01/10/2023 00:10

Regular user of MN and Twitter. They are not the same.

I think they fucked up FWR and for that reason I'm on here much less than I used to be but still plenty of useful discussions and information.

letstrythatagain · 01/10/2023 00:12

The responses on here literally confirm the reason why the OP is leaving...🤦‍♀️. Nice one MN users.

WhateverMate · 01/10/2023 00:12

This place was dreadfully cliquey 15 years ago, full of thread police and some nasty regulars who looked down on anyone with poor SPAG.

MatthewsMumFromTikTok · 01/10/2023 00:12

Fordian · 30/09/2023 23:52

I'mma gonna let this run.

There won't be one single person posts from 15-20 years ago.

It was such a special resource. Such support. But it's now Wimmin Twitter.

Yes I was here 20 years ago

Had to pay to use the message system!

It wasn't THAT good you know, it WAS cliquey. As a newcomer back then it felt very unwelcoming.... I lurked for sometime before posting

First post was by a 'regular' laughing at how her dp had thrown her son onto the sofa. Everyone laughing along with her My comment questioning it was met with hostility

Nah. Wasn't that great tbh

Redrunnynose · 01/10/2023 00:12

You still here ?

PikachuChickenRice · 01/10/2023 00:12

EfficientlyDecluttering · 01/10/2023 00:01

Yes, I've been here all that time too. It has changed, fewer familiar names, a lot less in-jokes and banter. I hid AIBU years ago so maybe don't see the worst of it but it's still a brilliant place for information and support in the specialised subject areas.

Don't most people NC regularly..? I do!

MatthewsMumFromTikTok · 01/10/2023 00:13

'I'll CAT you'

Very cliquey

MatthewsMumFromTikTok · 01/10/2023 00:13

Fordian · 30/09/2023 23:58

Seriously, check your X feed, then this, they're the same.

Waaay back, 19 years, this was a resource for women, mums, looking for support.

Can you seriously say it is now?

Yes. It's better now

airfresh123 · 01/10/2023 00:14

Fordian · 30/09/2023 23:58

Seriously, check your X feed, then this, they're the same.

Waaay back, 19 years, this was a resource for women, mums, looking for support.

Can you seriously say it is now?

I actually understand why you have had enough! I as a young Mum i would have found MN quite damaging to my mental health because all the posts have negativity from someone. Maybe it’s a sign of the times we live in 🤷‍♀️
Am glad that when my kids were little, MN wasn’t a thing ! We were definitely more level headed and were not as entitled and lacking in empathy.

theduchessofspork · 01/10/2023 00:15

Fordian · 30/09/2023 23:58

Seriously, check your X feed, then this, they're the same.

Waaay back, 19 years, this was a resource for women, mums, looking for support.

Can you seriously say it is now?

Yes it is an amazing resource, amongst many other things.

Are you on the sauce?!

MatthewsMumFromTikTok · 01/10/2023 00:15

letstrythatagain · 01/10/2023 00:12

The responses on here literally confirm the reason why the OP is leaving...🤦‍♀️. Nice one MN users.

How?

MirandaWest · 01/10/2023 00:15

I’ve been here 20 years too. It is different. And I use it in a different way. But doesn’t mean it’s wrong now

feelingalittlehorse · 01/10/2023 00:16

MiddleParking · 01/10/2023 00:01

Certainly sounds like a bit less time on the internet will do no harm.

😂😂😂😂

lemonsaretheonlyfruit · 01/10/2023 00:22

I came across Mumsnet 16 years ago when my now ex H walked out on me as he was having an affair. The relationships board was my absolute life line for about 2/3 years. In the last few years, my 16 year old has had an awful time with MH, SH, hospital admissions etc. Again - Mumsnet has been a life line.

I think that in the specialist sections such as the 2 above, there is a much warmer more supportive and understanding feel.

However I do agree that in the more general areas (AIBU, Chat etc) then things have got more cutting, less supportive and scary enough for me not to dare to post on them. Maybe how things are now on MN is a reflection of how much society has changed in the last 15/20 years.

Either way, as others have said - it's my number 1 go to for travel, books, and lots of other things.

I suppose I feel for newer people who come along looking for support and experience the hostility and judgement that is most definitely on here.

JaneJeffer · 01/10/2023 00:23

Can you be more specific about what is bothering you @Fordian?

MardyBra · 01/10/2023 00:35

Fordian · 30/09/2023 23:52

I'mma gonna let this run.

There won't be one single person posts from 15-20 years ago.

It was such a special resource. Such support. But it's now Wimmin Twitter.

I’ve been here since the noughties. Yes it’s different, the community feel isn’t the same and I certainly am not addicted like I used to be, but there are still entertaining and informative threads. I still lurk and occasionally post. Take care Fordian.

MardyBra · 01/10/2023 00:36

ChocAuVin · 30/09/2023 23:57

waves from that era

It was special, OP. But full of head girls and hierarchies with it. MN has changed just like the rest of the net in the past few decades.

That is so true. So who is your favourite MNer OP?

Thatcat · 01/10/2023 00:41

Ah everything is always better in the good ol’ days. That’s just life. MN has its moments.

For my very first post, I spilled my heart out asking for help with a family issue and I was called a troll. I was mortified and so upset by that, I just deleted my account.

I came back when I had a difficult pregnancy experience a while back, and felt so supported. I had no where else to go but here. There’s some excellent people here. So I appreciate it a lot actually.